Ever wonder if ChatGPT could write a punk-pop love anthem? Us too, apparently. Come listen to Weekly Maas this week to find out what our thoughts are about that! In this weeks episode, Anna and Jeffrey discuss chapters 38-39 of A Court of Thorns and Roses. It's probably better that they discuss this book because Anna fell asleep during A Nightmare Before Christmas and couldn't tell you the resolution of Sally's unrequited love for Jack. Instead, they'll chat about Feyre's requited love for Tamlin. Boo.

Jeffrey gives his second weak synopsis in a row, though he does try to defend himself. Once they begin chatting about these chapters, Jeffrey immediately regales us with a memory of watching Fantasia in music class in elementary school. Relevant? Probably not. Getting back to the plot of this book, Feyre is given some impossible cleaning tasks and is helped along in them by faeire patrons. Jeffrey confronts the sexism of pet names while discussing Lucien's mother who happens to come along and save Feyre from her first cleaning task. Do y'all think it's nice to have your physical attributes attached to the land you live in? In Lucien's mother's case, it's very pleasant. More importantly, fuck, marry, kill: rice, bread, pasta. Let's go.

Feyre's next task is to clean up never-ending lentils from a dirty hearth and thank god this is Rhysand's room because we're about to get an exposition dump. We learn some key info from this tête-à-tête: Rhysand has greater potential base powers than the other High Lords; all the High Lords have unique powers; all the High Lords can shape-shift; Rhysand's shape-shifted form is some kind of bird/bat-like creature; nobody can help Feyre with the riddle because Amarantha has willed it so; Amarantha's power is so immense that she can force everyone to stop breathing at any moment. This is all some key world-building information. What will Feyre do with it? Probably nothing.

After checking out Google's NGram viewer to look up words Jeffrey doesn't know, they discuss Feyre's makeover before being forced to drink faerie wine that makes her black out while Rhysand does what he wants with her at court parties. Anna tried on some sac's for work the other day... is the sac-look basically what Feyre is wearing? They spend a lot of time discussing these sacs, that's for sure. Rhysand is getting very creepy - calling Feyre his property, dressing her in risqué clothing, drugging her, making her dance in front of the court... this guy sucks. Tamlin has no reaction to any of this. Is he ensorcelled? Anna seems to be a Rhysand apologist as Lucien turns up to berate Feyre for saving herself from dying. Why does Lucien suck in this moment? Later on, Rhysand notes that he saved Feyre to save Tamlin, which leads Anna and Jeffrey to wonder about Tamlin and Rhysand's prior relationsip... were they besties in the past? Lovers, maybe? Why do they hate each other now? Who knows?

The final set piece for these chapters is Rhysand most likely saving the secret of potential rebellion coming Amarantha's way from the Summer Court. Why would Rhysand protect the High Lord of the Summer Court in such a way? What's in it for him? Is he just picking up future favors? Is he trying to bring Amarantha down? We do figure out that Rhysand's theme song is "Get Free" by The Vines. Feyre begins wondering all these same questions as well, though, as ever with Feyre, her thoughts generally lead nowhere.

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Anna and Jeffrey are back and ready to talk about anything but A Court of Thorns and Roses! Were you wondering what movie they had seen this week? Perhaps you had a hankering to hear about the Tour de France? Or hear Anna's take on Greek stereotypes? Well, you get that and so much more!

Once they get to the material, they decide to chat about chapters 36-37. It's time to see what Feyre's first trial could be... and it's basically a mix of Theseus fighting the Minotaur, Gladiator, and Dune. They discuss what Amarantha's public works projects would look like and wonder, once again, about faerie economics. Amarantha really is a jobs creator. Do we think that the Middengaard eats both meat and mud? Who knows? After defeating the monster (are monsters animals? Do they have rights?), Anna marvels at Feyre's aim in spear throwing after Feyre perfectly places a bone spear directly in front of Amarantha. Go for the kill, Feyre! Rhysand joins the show later in Feyre's cell, prompting Jeffrey to wonder at the theatrics of bands opening shows in the dark to appear on stage. Rhysand has a bargain for Feyre, and boy is she totally not in a place to deny said bargain as the wound she sustained is festering. It's a hard bargain but Feyre doesn't know if she can wait on chance... so she ends up getting a cool tattoo, shaking Rhysand's hand, and giving away a week of her life each month. Rhysand turns into Edward Scissorhands and heals Feyre. Wild stuff.

What do we think about the Night Court? Jeffrey thinks it's a goth's dream. Anna and Jeffrey wonder about Bjork and where she would live in Prythian. Is Iceland just a combination of the Night and Day Courts? Jeffrey is really into this aspect of the world. Could this just be a land of goths and goth music? Please, take him there.

Anna and Jeffrey wonder at the first person nature of the storytelling while wondering if this book is literature. Anybody here read Marcel Proust? Feyre certainly hasn't, explaining why her reveries and experiences seem a bit slow and boring comparatively. Why is she such a dummy about Tamlin? She should be chilling with her family and not obsessing over this faerie lord. Jeffrey wonders whether she just can't go back to a normie life after experiencing magic. Anna thinks it's because nobody will be able to relate to her anymore... she's been forever changed from this experience.

Have we also been forever changed?

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Returning after the abrupt and totally expected ending of last weeks episode, Anna and Jeffrey return to discuss chapters 33-35 of A Court of Thorns & Roses. They hit all the highlights: Is Nic Cage a beloved actor? Who is Adam Driver going to play in Anna's fan-cast? Have you seen High Life? Cause that's a great movie. Do we think that the word "synopsisized" is a real world? Don't look it up! And don't worry, they do discuss the chapters as well.

As Alis sees Feyre off to Under the Mountain with little to no information that would help Feyre, Jeffrey takes a deep dive into the idea of "back doors" in fantasy and sci-fi universes. Alis lays out three rules before leaving Feyre: don't drink faerie wine, don't make any bargains, and not to trust anyone, anything, or even her own senses. Sounds like Alis has read other stories of the fae. Anna rewinds to try to remember what her thoughts about Amarantha were the first time she met her: turns out she imagined her as just another sexy babe. Jeffrey and Anna try to decide who they think Amarantha looks like, and boy, they are not the same at all! But check back in a few years to see if Anna's fan-casting was correct. Feyre gets her nose broken so we can have a moment with Lucien - that's sweet of her. Jeffrey wonders at the nature of riddles and guesses the correct answer live on air - please clap. Feyre can't seem to get it, but as she likes to remind herself, she's just a dumb human living in a faerie's world. Well, maybe Anna is not remembering correctly and we're both dumb humans as well, only time will tell. As Feyre heads back to her cell to await her first task, Jeffrey ruminates on the radio drama War of the Worlds. Check it out if you never have.

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