When I was a child I decided that I didn't like nature because something was always eating something, and that as awful. Last week I ran around asking people, including myself, why there is suffering.

The more I demanded an answer, the more I suffered.

I found that when I was without a place, like you walk into a house or an apartment or a room, you say, "This is my place," I compartmentalized everything into a pause button. The pause button is becoming unclicked.

Several years ago, I had a brief email correspondence with the woman who sued the Wachowski brothers for copywrite for The Matrix. I briefly reflect on my impression of her situation. I don't know how everything ended. In this episode, I reflect on why I'm always getting mad at people, places and things, as I got mad at a popup on my computer. I did all of this in the light of knowing that all things are in a very real way, interdependent.

In a real sense all life is inter-related. All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the inter-related structure of reality. - Martin Luther King Jr.

The Buddha, the awakened one, said that there is suffering that there is the end of suffering and that there is a path toward the end of suffering. I am not a practicing Buddhist nor I am not a practicing anything that is part of a community where you take vows and follow instructions. I've been wandering and that has been the best that I could do and I still have run into and witnessed suffering, or life life-ing us.

I'm trying to embrace the idea that I don't have to always run like crazy, that there is a part of me that is more powerful than running, and that aspect has amazing abilities that come out of nowhere, effortlessly.

https://annmariedavis.com/ourselves-walking/

And there were those of us who then listened and heard the savannas of ages humming their time and time again chant. That same earth-old chant that rests in our throats and sings us to ever and ever, amen.

I spent a few years watching people with power from monetary donations given to charities. I did so from the vantage point of someone deemed needy.

I want you to know that if you want to save the world and your impulse to save comes from a wounded place, you are wasting your time.

I am impacted by the scientific culture because everything about the dominant culture is impacted by the scientific culture. We're not just impacted by the applications of science. The scientific culture impacts our mindsets.

That scientific culture is different than the scientific method. The culture surrounding science and the scientific method is biased because humans have biases despite scientists efforts to remain unbiased. We often forget that.

I have this judgmental voice in my head that holds my unscientific mystical mind up to scientific scrutiny. I need to root out this judgmental voice because it's unhelpful, and when it pops up again and again, I have to shrug and shake my head.

Six Lifetimes of Love

by

A. M. Davis

I vow to see who you are
completely and without fail
for this life
and five lifetimes after.

If you come back as a spider
and I come back as your mate,
even as I devour you
I will hold my abdomen
with two of my eight legs
and rock back and forth for a while
as I digest you

because I will
miss you already.

And if I come back as a clear-cut forest
and you come back as an industrialist
I will enter into your dreams
when I am fallen and made
into your four-poster bed.
And I will sigh into your aching heart
and that will be my gift to you:
a heart that can finally
be broken

because I will love you into that lifetime,
too.

And then you can be a squirrel
and I can be
the acorn
that falls at your feet
that you bury until winter.

And you can be the thirsty man
and I can be the rain.

And I can be the rain
and you can be the rainbow
that the people see.

At Cambridge University ⁠Rupert Sheldrake worked in developmental biology as a Fellow of Clare College. And yet, the scientific community has ostracized him because of what he investigates, even as his methodology is sound.

Below I have a few links to references I made in this podcast.

https://www.sheldrake.org/

https://noetic.org/

https://richarddawkins.net/

https://www.congress.gov/118/crec/2023/07/13/169/120/CREC-2023-07-13-pt1-PgS2953.pdf

After 2 years, 10 months and 15 days I'm home again. At this point people want to know why I was living in different places but never had a home.

Had I incarnated white bodied, born in Berkeley as I was, I don't think our culture would have nurtured me to be stout-hearted enough to listen through this inaugural episode, what with me knowing my personal hatred of discomfort. Because there are those of us who have experienced travails and still hate them as much as everyone else.

So. I’m not a drug addict. I'm not stupid. I'm not insane. I have living relatives that were either in difficult places, but still the majority of them ghosted me during my times without a place.

I recently started working with a facilitator releasing myself from agreements or contracts, conscious or unconscious, that I had made with my soul or my family or myself.

One of those contracts was to never do anything like produce a podcast, so I thought that a podcast about agreements, mostly subconscious would be a good place to start.