The Save The Marriage Podcast

De: Lee H. Baucom Ph.D.
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  • Resumen

  • Learn how to save your marriage and improve your relationship. Stop your divorce and restore a loving relationship. Join Dr. Lee H. Baucom for this impactful podcast that can save your marriage.
    © Copyright 2013-2024. All Rights Reserved by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. and Aspire Coaching, Inc.
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Episodios
  • Forgiveness – NOT a Blank Check

    Forgiveness – NOT a Blank Check
    Apr 9 2025
    Just to be clear, I am ALL FOR forgiveness. I have talked about on the Save The Marriage Podcast and on my Thriveology Podcast. And in a marriage, there are ample opportunities to practice forgiving. "Every-day forgiving" and big-time forgiving. In such an intimate relationship, you are going to step on toes, hurt each other's feelings, make bad decisions -- and still have to figure out how to move forward. You do that by forgiving. BUT (and this is a big BUT, which is why I capitalized it and bolded it) that does not mean the "forgiven" has carte blanche to keep up the behavior that required the forgiving. (By the way, not to chase a tangent, but did you know that carte blanche means "white card" or "blank card," meaning a check that is blank, but has been signed? In other words, a "blank check.") When someone is forgiven, it is not permission to do "it" (whatever the "it" is that causes the need for forgiveness). Forgiving is a decision to move forward. It may or may not include moving forward in relationship. But it is deciding to move forward in the face of something that happened. There is a saying that "the first time is a mistake, the second time is a choice." I would add, "the third time, on, it is a habit." Forgiving something is not an open opportunity to repeat the behavior. Similarly, an apology is not an opportunity to repeat the behavior. It is an acknowledgement of a mistake and an opportunity for change. One apologizes AND takes the opportunity to change (I have a podcast on apologizing). One forgives, SO THAT the hurt and pain can be left behind. Listen to the podcast below for more. (. . . and if you need to catch up on the Immutable Laws Of Marriage series, here are the older episodes:) Immutable Laws Of Marriage Series #1 Marriage Is About Becoming A WE #2 Marriage Is NOT A Vehicle for Happiness (Or Misery) #3 We ALL Have Fear #4 There Is NO Pause #5 Connection Is The Lifeblood #6 The Goal Of Conflict Is Progress #7 Love Is What You Do #8 Look For The Best In Your Spouse #9 You Have To Show Up #10 Civility and Respect Is A Choice #11 Trust Is A Gift
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    14 m
  • It’s NOT the Event!

    It’s NOT the Event!
    Apr 2 2025
    I used to notice how often an engaged couple would become so focused on getting married -- the wedding -- that they had a hard time focusing on what the process of being married would be. The reason this concerned me is because I know what happens next. And unless they make a shift, their marriage will hit a disconnect event, a moment of hurt. At the other end... when a marriage is hurting and in trouble, I watch as people once again focus on an event or a moment. Perhaps it was that moment when a spouse says, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Or perhaps it is an event, like separation or even divorce. Those events and moments hurt. But they provide no path back to a loving and connected marriage. To get there, you need to focus on something else, not the moment or the event. Let's talk about where to shift your focus, and where, so that you can restore your marriage. RELATED RESOURCES: The Save The Marriage System The Importance of Connection 3C's of Restoring Dangers of The Pause Button
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    22 m
  • Big Mistake #3 People Make

    Big Mistake #3 People Make
    Mar 27 2025
    There are lots of mistakes people make in their efforts to save their marriage. This particular mistake is what I consider to be the 3rd biggest. I hear it in the questions people send me every single week. In fact, I hear this mistake probably 3 or more times each day. And here is the sad thing: the mistake is made with all the best of intentions. . . and all the worst of results. Like all mistakes, it is avoidable. (If something is unavoidable, it can't be a mistake; a mistake always has an alternative that could avoid the mistake.) I am betting you have made this mistake. (I have.) My hope is that, once I point it out, it will be so obvious that you will not repeat it. RELATED RESOURCES: 3 Problems With Marital Therapy Avoid The 3 A's Separation: Will It Help? Why Your Spouse Doesn't Believe You Will Change "I've Changed" and 3 Other Things NOT To Say Grab the Save The Marriage System
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    15 m

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the real world of relationships

deals with the real issues in relationships. Helps with misconceptions of what marriage is and isn't, what is realistic.

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straight from the gut

The way Dr Baucom tells it straight and with personal stories to back them up.

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