This episode was originally entirely in Morse code and I had to redo the whole thing. Rookie mistake.

My podcast rival on the iTunes charts is someone accidentally uploading the sound of marbles being thrown down stone staircases every week. They're sponsored by HelloFresh.

Thank you for electing me president but I must refuse the honor because I hate working in offices. I don’t care that you made it an oval. Also I’m illiterate.

I submitted this episode to a lake behind my house. Just put it on a disc and tossed it in the water for consideration. Excited to hear back.

Imagine actually listening to a podcast lol

All of the words I said in this episode appeared in word clouds over my head as I said them. They’re still up there and they’re starting to go bad and stink up my house.

This episode was made-to-order at a Dunkin' Donuts for some freak who just wanted "whatever makes sense."

Everyone was harmed in the making of this podcast episode. Everyone.