The Love Doc Podcast

By: Dr. Sarah Hensley
Listen for free

  • Summary

  • Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
    Copyright Dr. Sarah Hensley
    Show more Show less
Personal Development Personal Success Relationships Social Sciences
Show more Show less
Episodes
  • Episode 43 | If They Don't Want to be Kept, Don't Keep Em'"

    Episode 43 | If They Don't Want to be Kept, Don't Keep Em'"
    Mar 11 2025
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.In Episode 43 of “The Love Doc” podcast, titled “If They Don’t Want to Be Kept, Don’t Keep ’Em,” Dr. Hensley delves into the common question she receives from clients: “How do I get my partner to [fill in the blank]?” She emphasizes that attempting to change a partner is futile and that true emotional security comes from recognizing that the only person one can change is oneself.Key Discussion Points:1. Losing Oneself in the Effort to Change a Partner:She warns against the dangers of contorting oneself to induce change in a partner, often leading to a loss of personal identity and autonomy. This behavior can result in emotional exhaustion and dissatisfaction.2. The Fallacy of Loving Someone Enough to Change Them:Dr. Hensley addresses the misconception that one can love someone into changing. She asserts that change must come from within an individual who is ready and willing; external pressure is ineffective and can be detrimental.3. Coercion vs. Genuine Expression of Love:Attempting to force or manipulate a partner into meeting one’s needs is not a true expression of love. Authentic love respects autonomy and encourages voluntary, mutual effort in the relationship.4. Recognizing When a Partner Is Not Capable of Commitment:Dr. Hensley emphasizes the importance of acknowledging when a partner consistently demonstrates an inability or unwillingness to commit. Persisting in such situations leads to frustration and hinders personal growth.Subconscious Manipulation and Emotional Exhaustion:The episode delves into the subconscious manipulation involved in trying to retain a partner who is unwilling or unable to meet one’s needs. This dynamic leads to emotional exhaustion and disrupts the nervous system, fostering dysfunction and instability in the relationship.Attachment Styles and the Push-Pull Dynamic:Dr. Hensley explores attachment styles, particularly the fearful-avoidant and dismissive-avoidant pairings, where push-pull dynamics are prevalent:• Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: Characterized by a desire for intimacy coupled with a fear of getting hurt, leading to ambivalence and mistrust in relationships.• Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment: Marked by a preference for independence and discomfort with closeness, resulting in emotional distance and a tendency to withdraw from partners.When individuals with these attachment styles pair together, a cyclical pattern of pursuing and distancing ensues, creating instability and dissatisfaction.Advice for Breaking the Cycle:Towards the end of the episode, Dr. Hensley offers guidance for those trapped in unfulfilling dynamics:• Toxic Hope: Recognize and release the unrealistic expectation that a partner will change, which perpetuates unhealthy attachment and prolongs suffering.• Radical Acceptance: Embrace the reality of the situation without resistance, acknowledging that one cannot control or change another’s behavior.These concepts and more are elaborated upon in her new breakup course (now live and ready for purchse), designed to help individuals cultivate inner safety and trust in their decision-making, empowering them to leave relationships that do not serve their well-being.Visit Dr. Hensley's website at thelovedoc.com (now active) Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coachingBook one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual CoachingPurchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/coursesTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedocFacebook: Dr. Sarah HensleyYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
    Show more Show less
    30 mins
  • Episode 42 | Navigating Divorce

    Episode 42 | Navigating Divorce
    Mar 4 2025
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 42 – How to Navigate DivorceIn this powerful episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Hensley takes a deep dive into one of the most difficult and life-altering experiences a person can face—divorce. With compassion, insight, and real-life experience from coaching hundreds of clients, she offers a roadmap for navigating the process in the healthiest way possible.When Is Divorce Acceptable?Dr. Hensley begins the episode by addressing a critical question: When is divorce justified? She makes it clear that while every marriage has challenges, certain circumstances—such as infidelity, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and neglect—are valid and acceptable reasons to leave a marriage. However, she also emphasizes that nothing in this episode should be taken as legal advice; instead, she shares wisdom based on her personal experience and extensive coaching work.Step 1: Accepting Your Partner’s DecisionOne of the first steps in navigating divorce is accepting your partner’s boundary if they have filed for divorce. Dr. Hensley stresses the importance of expressing your feelings openly and compassionately—whether or not you want the divorce—without becoming needy, pushy, or anxious. This approach allows for open communication and ensures that divorce isn’t being used as a mere threat.Step 2: Creating Emotional and Physical SpaceShe then explores the importance of creating both emotional and physical distance. This space provides clarity, helping individuals truly understand what life will be like post-divorce. By stepping back, people can gain perspective on whether they are seeking reconciliation out of genuine desire or simply fearing change.Step 3: Understanding the Legal ProcessA major portion of the episode is dedicated to the legal aspects of divorce. Dr. Hensley underscores the importance of securing a strong attorney and thoroughly understanding state-specific divorce and custody laws. She encourages listeners to seek individual legal counsel—even in seemingly amicable divorces—because legal protection is crucial in navigating financial and custody matters.Step 4: Communication During DivorceDr. Hensley provides actionable strategies for communication during the divorce process. She explains how to maintain open dialogue without overstepping boundaries and gives specific language that can help avoid unnecessary conflict. She also discusses the challenges of co-parenting and offers guidance on ensuring children feel emotionally supported throughout the transition.Can a Marriage Be Saved?Halfway through the episode, Dr. Hensley shifts gears to discuss cases where marriages have been salvaged from the brink of divorce. She shares success stories from her coaching program, illustrating how the tools she teaches can help couples reconnect and repair their relationships. She also provides a realistic timeline for seeing meaningful change when both partners commit to the work.Attachment Styles and DivorceNext, Dr. Hensley examines how different attachment styles handle divorce—and where each one typically goes wrong:• Anxious-preoccupied individuals may cling to the relationship, struggle with self-worth, and resist letting go.• Dismissive avoidants may shut down emotionally, minimize the pain, and attempt to move on too quickly.• Fearful avoidants often experience inner conflict, cycling between wanting connection and pushing their partner away.She offers targeted advice for each attachment style, helping listeners recognize their patterns and make healthier choices during this transition.Breaking Free from Trauma BondsOne of the most challenging aspects of divorce is severing a trauma bond—especially in toxic or abusive relationships. Dr. Hensley outlines a key strategy she teaches in her coaching program:• Practicing radical acceptance of the situation.• Immersing oneself in the truth by writing out relationship issues and reading them daily.By consistently reinforcing reality, individuals can shift their mindset and begin the process of emotional detachment.Should You Wait Before Divorcing?For those who feel uncertain, Dr. Hensley advises taking true inventory of the relationship for 3 to 6 months before making ...
    Show more Show less
    41 mins
  • Episode 41 | Friendship in Your Forties

    Episode 41 | Friendship in Your Forties
    Feb 25 2025
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 41: Friendship in Your Forties Friendship, like any other relationship, can be complex to navigate—especially as you grow, heal, and move toward attachment security. In this episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Sarah Hensley and co-host Raina Butcher take a deep dive into how friendships evolve once you’ve reached emotional security, why some friendships don’t survive, and what true friendship really looks like.While the title suggests a focus on friendships in your 40s, this episode is relevant for anyone, regardless of age, because friendship dynamics shift as we mature, heal, and redefine our boundaries.How Friendships Change with Attachment SecurityDr. Hensley explains that once you achieve attachment security, your standards for friendship change. You become more intentional about the relationships you maintain, prioritizing mutual respect, peace, and personal growth. She breaks down what you will and won’t stand for in friendships once you’ve reached this level of emotional health, including:• Setting Boundaries – You no longer tolerate one-sided friendships, lack of reciprocity, or emotional drain.• A No-Drama Policy – You disengage from gossip, toxicity, and unnecessary conflict.• Caring Less About What Others Think – You prioritize your inner peace over external validation.• Protecting Your Peace at All Costs – You release friendships that feel heavy, draining, or unsupportive.Personal Experiences & People-Pleasing in FriendshipsBoth Dr. Hensley and Raina open up about friendships they’ve lost after achieving attachment security. Raina shares that she’s still struggling with people-pleasing tendencies in her friendships, and Dr. Hensley helps her unpack the root cause—attachment wounds that make it hard to say no or risk losing connection.Dr. Hensley emphasizes that true friendship isn’t about sacrificing your well-being to keep others happy. Instead, secure friendships allow for honesty, mutual respect, and space for each person to grow.The Evolution of Their Own FriendshipDr. Hensley and Raina reflect on how their own friendship has deepened as they’ve both grown in emotional security. What started as a friendship built on common interests has transformed into something much deeper—rooted in trust, honesty, and emotional safety.Dr. Hensley shares how, before reaching attachment security, she relied on a “Rolodex” of friends to vent to or help soothe her emotions. Now, using the self-regulation tools she teaches in her coaching practice, she no longer seeks friendships as a form of emotional outsourcing. Instead, she views friendship as a space for mutual support and respect, rather than an emotional dumping ground.Why Friendships End When One Person Becomes SecureOne of the most eye-opening parts of the conversation is how friendships can mirror romantic relationships. Dr. Hensley explains that just like in romantic relationships, friendships often break down when one person becomes attachment secure and the other remains stuck in insecurity.She and Raina discuss a hard truth:• Some friendships don’t end because of conflict; they end because one person grows and the other doesn’t.• Not all friends want to see you succeed. True friendship isn’t just about supporting someone in hard times; it’s also about celebrating their wins without jealousy or resentment.Friendship Among Men & Friendships Lost in DivorceDr. Hensley also touches on the unique struggles men face in maintaining friendships later in life. She explains that:• Men often struggle with emotional depth in friendships compared to women.• Many male friendships are activity-based, making it harder to find deep, emotionally secure friendships.• Divorce often leads to friendship losses, as mutual friends take sides or the shifting dynamic makes maintaining friendships more complicated.God’s Role in Friendship & Letting GoAs always, Dr. Hensley brings faith into the conversation, sharing how God’s friendship has shaped her life. She acknowledges that God has both brought friendships into her life and removed others for her greater good.In the end, she encourages listeners to embrace the seasons of ...
    Show more Show less
    38 mins

What listeners say about The Love Doc Podcast

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    3
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Performance
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    3
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Story
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    3
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Audible.com reviews

Amazon reviews
Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Nicole P

Thank you for explaining and helping me with fearful avoidance and being vulnerable ❤️

No one has given me the insight these 2 woman have and I am appreciative. I also LOVE that this is a Christ based podcast. God gives wisdom period and these woman create a safe space to explore yourself. ❤️

Report this

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!