Feeling stuck in a negative mindset?

Learn how to overcome self-sabotaging thought patterns and cultivate lasting happiness from Matt O'Neill. In this vulnerable and insightful episode, Matt shares his personal journey of shifting from a bad mood to a good one, offering a practical blueprint you can apply to transform your own mindset.

Learn how to question limiting beliefs, reframe negative thoughts, and leverage self-inquiry to break free of the funk. Discover the power of gratitude in reclaiming your natural state of joy.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Identifying the root of negative emotions

• Questioning the certainty of limiting beliefs

• Reframing thoughts to find the positive

• Leveraging self-inquiry to break free of funk

• Embracing gratitude for life's blessings

[01:00] From Disappointment to Transformation

Matt's open and honest account of his personal struggle with a bad mood sets the stage for this transformative episode. After disappointing his wife Katie by prioritizing work over a commitment, Matt found himself spiraling into a negative thought pattern. Through self-reflection, he was able to uncover the root causes - fears about his career, doubts in his abilities as a leader, and a general sense of life feeling like a "grind."

[08:03] The Paradox of Mood: Downward Spiral vs. Upward Spiral

When we feel bad, we actually have a subconscious desire to "do bad" in order to prove to ourselves that we are bad. Conversely, when we feel good, we naturally want to make others feel good, creating an "awesome upward spiral." The key takeaway is that our emotions and behaviors are fundamentally shaped by the stories and narratives we tell ourselves. Understanding this dynamic is crucial for breaking free of negative thought patterns and cultivating lasting happiness.

[09:00] Questioning Certainty, Challenging Limiting Beliefs

By applying the process of inquiry championed by author Byron Katie, Matt systematically challenged the validity of his negative thoughts. Rather than accepting them as absolute truths, he questioned whether he could know them with 100% certainty. This simple yet powerful exercise began to chip away at the hold these limiting beliefs had on his mindset and emotions.

[22:54] Overcoming the Damaging Impact of Negative Thinking

When stuck in a negative mindset, systematically challenge the validity of self-defeating beliefs. Question whether you can know them as absolute truths, then look for evidence supporting the opposite, more positive perspective. Recognize that it's ultimately your own negative thought patterns, not external circumstances, that hold you back. By consciously reframing limiting narratives and cultivating a more constructive mindset, you can overcome the damaging impact of negativity and unlock your full potential for joy and fulfillment.

Resources Mentioned:

Loving What Is by Byron Katie

A Mind at Home with Itself by Byron Katie

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Or, reach out on our contact page at https://mattoneill.com/contact and we will email you a copy of any free resource you request.

Are you tired of trying to push away your "negative" emotions? What if you knew the truth that no emotion was ever really “bad” or “negative” and that all emotions had usefulness.

In this episode, Matt O’Neill sits down with expert psychotherapist Michelle Maidenberg as she explains why facing our uncomfortable feelings - like anger, sadness, and fear - is essential for authentic happiness and personal growth.

As they dive deep into the topic of emotional avoidance, discover why facing our uncomfortable emotions is essential for authentic happiness and personal growth. Michelle shares practical strategies for building the discipline and self-efficacy needed to make lasting changes in our lives.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• The importance of embracing all emotions, not just the "good" ones

• Reframing guilt and shame as opportunities for self-reflection

• Characteristics of people living empowered, fulfilled lives

• Overcoming the "slip-fall" cycle to sustain positive behavior change

• Developing self-trust through following through on commitments

[02:48] Embracing the Uncomfortable Emotions

Michelle emphasizes the importance of not categorizing emotions as simply "good" or "bad." She explains that even uncomfortable feelings like anger, sadness, and fear serve a vital purpose in connecting us to our values and humanity. Rather than avoiding these emotions, Michelle encourages facing them head-on as opportunities for growth and self-understanding. Recognizing that we all experience a range of emotions as human beings, she stresses the need to approach the uncomfortable ones with self-compassion, using them to better understand ourselves and live more authentic, fulfilling lives.

[13:15] Strategies for Sustained Change

A common struggle Michelle sees in her clients is the inability to sustain positive behavior changes over time. She shares concrete steps and tools to help break the "slip-fall" cycle, addressing the underlying rationalizations and core beliefs that can sabotage our best intentions. By developing self-awareness and self-compassion, we can learn to persist through setbacks and make lasting improvements in our lives.

[14:41] Facing Adversity, Building Confidence

Michelle emphasizes that living an empowered life requires accepting and facing adversity head-on. She explains that quick fixes and easy solutions are rarely the answer - true growth and fulfillment come through consistent effort and practice. By doing the hard things, even when it's challenging, we build self-efficacy and confidence in our ability to follow through on our goals and values.

Resources Mentioned:

www.michellemaidenberg.com

Books mentioned:

• The End of Your World

• I Am That

• The Compound Effect

Pre-order the Good Mood Revolution book on Amazon today!

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Or, reach out on our contact page at https://mattoneill.com/contact and we will email you a copy of any free resource you request.

About the Guest

Michelle Maidenberg is a psychotherapist who works with children, adolescents, teens, and adults. She is the Co-Founder and Clinical Director of "Thru My Eyes," a nonprofit that offers free clinically-guided videotaping for chronically ill individuals to leave legacies for their loved ones.

Ever deal with feeling like an impostor? You're not alone, and it’s time to shatter that illusion. In this electrifying episode of the Good Mood Revolution, Matt O’Neill and Romy van der Merwe dive into the heart of impostor syndrome, exposing it for the myth it truly is.

Brace yourself as Romy reveals jaw-dropping strategies to crush self-doubt, from creating a "hit list" of your wins to flipping negativity on its head. Discover how to dodge the comparison trap and forge your path with unbreakable confidence. This isn't just about feeling better; it’s about unleashing a new, audacious you. Don't miss this chance to transform your inner dialogue and embrace your authentic power—tune in now and reclaim your confidence!

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Embrace authentic confidence in your abilities

• Document your achievements to boost self-belief

• Reframe negatives as opportunities for growth

• Avoid comparing yourself to others' journeys

• Trust the process, learn from setbacks

[02:55] Where and How Impostor Syndrome Shows Up in Life

Impostor syndrome can manifest in various areas of life, not just in the workplace. Even in everyday tasks, the feeling of not being good enough or deserving of success can creep in, undermining one's confidence. Impostor syndrome often manifests as a persistent sense of self-doubt, despite evidence of one's competence and achievements. It can lead to anxiety about being "exposed" as a fraud, reluctance to take on new challenges, and constant comparison to others. When you’re struggling with imposter syndrome, you may attribute your successes to luck or external factors rather than your own abilities.

[12:20] The Power of Documenting Your Achievements

Documenting your achievements, both big and small, is a powerful way to overcome impostor syndrome and cultivate authentic confidence. By creating a "hit list" or "brag book" of your successes, you can counterbalance the self-doubt that often creeps in. Whether it's winning a writing contest, finishing a continuing education course, or simply having a fun tickle fight with your kids, these accomplishments are worth celebrating. Reflecting on your past wins, no matter how seemingly insignificant, can remind you of your capabilities and empower you to keep pushing forward, even in the face of challenges.

[21:37] Avoiding the Comparison Trap

When facing impostor syndrome, it's important to avoid comparing your current progress to someone else's more advanced stage. Instead, Romy advises comparing yourself to your own past achievements and growth, rather than external benchmarks. This allows you to focus on your unique journey and celebrate the small wins along the way, building momentum and self-belief. By resisting the urge to measure yourself against others who are further ahead, you can embrace the process of learning and improving at your own pace, ultimately unlocking your full potential.

Resources Mentioned:

Connect with Romy on LinkedIn.

Rapid Transformation by Ben Hardy

Download this week’s free resource instantly when you sign up for The Good Mood Show newsletter here!

Or, reach out on our contact page at https://mattoneill.com/contact and we will email you a copy of any free resource you request.

About the Guest

Romy van der Merwe is a leading expert on overcoming impostor syndrome and cultivating authentic confidence. As a sought-after speaker and coach, Romy is passionate about empowering others to let go of impostor syndrome and unlock their full potential.

In a world filled with challenges and adversity, choosing to feel good is truly a revolutionary act. In this episode, Matt O'Neill shares his powerful journey of finding happiness even in the face of professional setbacks and personal struggles. Discover how to reframe your mindset, redefine your stories, and unleash your inner radiance to live a life of joy and fulfillment.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Choosing happiness in the face of professional setbacks

• Reframing negative experiences to find happiness

• Finding happiness through redefining stories and beliefs

• Why God allows hardships to help us grow

• Managing negative emotions in the real estate industry

• Overcoming negative experiences and finding happiness through reframing

[01:52] Choosing Happiness in the Face of Professional Setbacks

Matt shares his personal experience of dealing with the departure of a top-performing agent from his real estate team. Instead of succumbing to feelings of betrayal and heartbreak, he chose to reframe the situation and find the silver lining. By letting go of the need to be right and embracing a more empowering narrative, Matt was able to navigate this challenge with grace and maintain his positive outlook.

[06:36] Reframing Negative Experiences to Find Happiness

The stories we tell ourselves about our experiences can either empower or limit us. Matt shares inspiring examples of individuals who have faced unimaginable adversity, yet found a way to reframe their narratives and discover growth and meaning in their struggles. This serves as a powerful reminder that our happiness is a choice, even in the face of life's challenges.

[19:52] Finding Happiness Through Redefining Stories and Beliefs

Happiness is directly tied to the stories and beliefs we choose to tell ourselves. When we shift our perspective to see that everything in this world is guided by a higher love, even the most difficult and painful experiences can be reframed as opportunities for growth and transformation. Nothing has the power to truly hurt us when we adopt this lens of love and faith. By consciously redefining our narratives, we unlock the freedom to find joy and contentment, even in the face of adversity.

Resources Mentioned:

Divorcing Your Beliefs with Alice Emerson

Forgiveness with Chris Singleton

Download this week’s free resource instantly when you sign up for The Good Mood Show newsletter here!

Or, reach out on our contact page at https://mattoneill.com/contact and we will email you a copy of any free resource you request.

Finding joy through life's challenges isn't always easy, but Fitz Koehler proves it's possible. As a breast cancer survivor who underwent intensive chemotherapy and radiation treatments, Fitz shares how she maintained her upbeat attitude through humor and living life to the fullest. Fitz joins host Matt O'Neill to discuss her cancer journey, the importance of surrounding yourself with positive people, and simple lifestyle habits that can boost your mood daily.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Fitz's breast cancer diagnosis and 15-month chemotherapy treatment

• Choosing laughter over lamenting during difficult times

• Finding flow through passionate hobbies and career pursuits

• The mental health benefits of exercise, nature, and quality sleep

• Embracing your individuality and limiting time with "cranky people"

[04:55] Finding Humor in Hard Times

Fitz shares that just six weeks after a clean mammogram, she learned she had cancer that had already spread to her lymph nodes. She underwent an aggressive treatment plan of 15 months of chemotherapy. Despite the challenges, Fitz emphasized choosing laughter over lamenting difficult situations. She discussed cancer being "freaking funny" at times due to how absurd and difficult it was. Fitz found she had no choice but to laugh at herself through it all.

[08:52] Finding Joy in Unexpected Moments

Fitz faced an extended delay at the airport but chose to make the best of it. Upon discovering the Delta sky lounge had showers, she enjoyed a solo shower with music for over an hour. When the airport alarm went off, others may have left but Fitz decided to stay in her "happy place" where she felt good. This unexpected experience demonstrated Fitz's ability to find humor and joy even in inconvenient situations outside her control.

[12:58] Finding Your Flow: How to Fully Immerse in Activities That Lift Your Mood

Make sure your career is something fulfilling. Beyond work, people need personal outlets for enjoyment - whether it's time with loved ones, animals, nature activities, sports, dance, or a hobby. Finding something requiring full focus, like basketball or dance, can distract from negative thoughts and boost mental well-being.

[16:47] The Power of Choosing a Victor Mindset

One of Fitz's mantras that she emphasizes is choosing to be a victor over adversity rather than a victim of circumstances outside one's control. She discusses allowing herself to cry and feel emotions for a limited time, but then getting back up and moving forward purposefully rather than wallowing in negativity or self-pity. Fitz models taking charge of her own mindset and actions instead of seeing herself as powerless against challenges life presents.

[25:28] Embracing Individuality and Shrugging Off Judgment

Fitz emphasizes the importance of not worrying about others' opinions and embracing one's individuality. She notes that while people will have their own thoughts, it doesn't ultimately affect you or your happiness. By shrugging off judgment and the need for validation, one can feel free to fully be themselves and show up authentically in any situation, whether alone or in a crowd.

Resources Mentioned:

www.fitzness.com/blog

My Noisy Cancer Comeback Story

The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy

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Or, reach out on our contact page at GoodMoodShow.com/Contact and we will email you a copy of any free resource you request.

About the Guest

Fitz Koehler is a breast cancer survivor, public speaker, and author from Gainesville, Florida. Despite receiving a cancer diagnosis, Fitz maintained her upbeat attitude through humor and passion for hosting races. Her book "My Noisy Cancer Comeback Story" shares how she found joy throughout intensive treatment.

What if the secret to happiness isn't in what you need, but in what you want? Today, we dive deep into the difference between needing and wanting, and how this distinction can make all the difference in your journey to freedom and happiness.

Having the essentials for survival keeps you alive, but it doesn't necessarily make you happy. True happiness comes from pursuing what you genuinely desire. Tune in to learn how to shift your mindset from one of scarcity and need to one of abundance and want, and watch your life transform.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• The difference between needing and wanting

• How to set powerful goals that actually manifest

• Embracing abundance and ditching scarcity thinking

• The four freedoms that lead to ultimate happiness

[01:18] The Difference Between Needing and Wanting

Needing operates from a scarcity mindset, where resources are limited and people compete for what's available. It's about survival and maintaining the status quo. Wanting, on the other hand, comes from an abundance mindset. It's about growth, creativity, and expanding beyond basic needs. Wanters focus on creating new opportunities and resources, leading to greater freedom and happiness.

[07:34] How to Set Powerful Goals That Actually Manifest

Write down goals for 7 life categories: health, business, friendships, relationships, family, spirituality, and lifestyle. Spend two minutes per category listing what you want. Circle the top goal in each category that would make the entire area feel successful. Write these 7 goals daily, programming them into your subconscious. This practice activates your reticular activating system, helping you notice opportunities to achieve your goals and potentially bending reality to manifest them.

[14:13] Abundance Mindset: Creating Without Limits

Shift from a competitive, scarcity-based mindset to an abundance mentality. Recognize that in the world of wanting, resources are not limited - they can be created. Stop justifying your desires or competing for perceived scarce resources. Instead, focus on creating and innovating without limits. This mindset shift frees up energy previously spent on competition and justification, allowing for greater creativity, growth, and happiness. Embrace the idea that you can create as much abundance as you want without taking from others.

[28:15] The Four Freedoms That Lead to Ultimate Happiness

1. Freedom of Time: Arrange your time as you wish in work and personal life.

2. Freedom of Money: No upper limit on earning, saving, and investing.

3. Freedom of Relationship: Choose who you interact with daily.

4. Freedom of Purpose: Focus on your own goals and vision.

These freedoms expand and multiply each other, creating a universe of integrated freedom that propels forward progress for those who choose wanting over needing.

Resources Mentioned:

Wanting What You Want by Dan Sullivan

Download this week’s free resource instantly when you sign up for The Good Mood Show newsletter here!

Or, reach out on our contact page at https://mattoneill.com/contact and we will email you a copy of any free resource you request.

Ever wonder why making lasting changes is so difficult? You're not alone. Change can be challenging, but it doesn't have to be. Enter Paul Levitin, the expert behind "Change Made Easy," who has helped thousands transform their health, wealth, and relationships.

In this compelling episode, Paul unveils his groundbreaking EASIER framework, designed to make sustainable change truly achievable. Forget about the pressure of perfect goals; Paul explains why they often lead to failure and how embracing imperfect progress can set you on the path to success. Join Matt and Paul today to see how change can be easy and rewarding.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Making consistent habits and lifestyle changes for improved health and well-being

• Why change is hard and how to make it easier

• The EASIER framework for making long-term changes

• Internal motivations for wealth, relationships, and personal growth

• Enthusiasm and process for achieving goals

• Embracing imperfection in relationships and daily routines

[03:42] Why Change Has to Be Hard

Paul thinks change inherently has to be hard because that's why you need to change in the first place. Things that are easy don't require making habits or goals around them. The things we want to change but have trouble doing, like exercising or healthy eating, are difficult because there is "friction between where we are and doing the thing." Specifically, doing the thing consistently is challenging because that's what produces results, not a one-time action.

[12:17] Why Willpower Only Works for Short-Term Goals

Willpower is only effective for short-term goals as it is a finite resource that will run out. Lifestyle changes require consistency over long periods like months or years. Relying solely on willpower is not sustainable for this duration. Making changes easier through enjoyable habits provides a better strategy for maintaining them long-term compared to using willpower alone.

[22:15] The EASIER Framework for Long-Term Success

E - Enthusiasm. Paul emphasizes that true motivation comes from enjoying the daily habits and actions required to achieve a goal, not just the end result. Being enthusiastic about the process is key for long-term consistency.

A - Available. Goals must fit practically within a person's current time constraints, energy levels, financial means and other resources.

S - Straightforward. Complex goals that are difficult to explain or understand take more mental energy and are less likely to stick. Plans work best when they are simple to implement without unnecessary complexity.

I - Imperfect. Embracing mistakes and setbacks as a natural part of progress helps keep people motivated. Seeing imperfections as opportunities for growth prevents people from being too hard on themselves when inevitable slip-ups occur.

E - Exponential. For habits to be maintained indefinitely, their benefits need to compound over time and provide returns well beyond just a one-to-one input-output relationship. Small actions should lead to exponential long-term rewards.

R - Repeatable. Forming strong habits through consistency is key to long-lasting change. Goals must be designed so the same behaviors can be repeated over weeks, months and years to become an ingrained part of daily life.

Resources Mentioned:

Change Made Easy podcast

Download this week’s free resource instantly when you sign up for The Good Mood Show newsletter here!

Or, reach out on our contact page at https://mattoneill.com/contact and we will email you a copy of any free resource you request.

About the Guest

Paul Levitin is the host of the popular podcast "Change Made Easy" and an expert on creating sustainable habits and lifestyle changes for improved health, wealth and relationships.