***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES***

... and you can email us at: bomt@bomt.uk.

BOMT (The Battery-Operated magic Toupee) cloddingly clomped through “Huh-Um-Duh” the most illiterate dumbed down arse tunnel of the multiverse. The following was written inside the Ignorancy Wave Field of Huh-Um-Duh:

“BOMT go in thing. Go BOMT go. BOMT do farty sound, ha-ha, laff at BOMT pooy smell noise.”

As you listen to the episode, please make allowances that it was produced by people who are dysfunctional illiterates and are SO unsophisticated that most of their day is spent laughing at farts and poos and creating the very things they laugh at. The tragedy of the situation is that the creators have never been to Huh-Um-Duh and have been this way their whole lives on Earth.

The episode begins with help for those who suffer an anus prolapse every time one sneezes, which can become particularly embarrassing during hay fever season.

Having the pronoun “They” or “Vey” has become passé now that you can have your own exclusive, personalised, customised pronoun only at the The Bootibum Personalised Gender and Pronoun Shop.

We feature an exclusive about Brantaslovavich’s most famous comedian and most depressing depressed manic-depressive in Brantaslovavich.

Many people want to make it and don’t make it due to not having THE missing ingredient which is revealed in the latest episode of ‘How To Make It with Eddie ‘Fucking’ Hollywood’.

How did wars such as WW1 and WW2 and the upcoming WW3 get such original and creatives names? Discover the secret at our visit to The War Marketing Office.

We end with the messiest and stickiest sporting event of the decade – the Masturbation Championships.

Welcome/ warning intro

Theme music montage

Sneezing Anus Prolapse - coming attraction

The Bootibum Personalised Gender and Pronoun Shop

Brantaslovavich’s Most Famous Comedian

How To Make It with Eddie ‘Fucking’ Hollywood

(PODCAST PROMO)

War Marketing Office

Masturbation Championships

Closing Credits

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES***

... and you can email us at: bomt@bomt.uk.

BOMT lands on the planet Attitude

Look buddy - we’ll tell you what this sodding episode of BOMT is about but DON’T ‘F-us-about’, okay!

I apologise. BOMT is visiting the Planet Attitude, a planet which boast the most attitude of any planet in the multiverse and it just got to me… the attitude. And… why the ‘F’ am I having to explain this shit to you? Who the hell do you think you are that… sorry it happened again. The AGF (Attitude Gravitas Force) of the planet deeply affects me.

We recommend that, before listening to this episode, you apologise to those around you in advance because the attitude will get you. And ‘F’ you if you don’t believe me and… sorry.

The episode begins with a warning about the most embarrassing sexual thing that can happen which is even more embarrassing than a limp, tiny, todger… losing control of your bowls during sex.

We then listen to another episode that, coincidentally, gets more complains than any other social media show: ‘Kev’s Complaints’.

Have you ever stepped in doggie poop and ruined your shoes? Well it may be time for you to buy the latest and greatest technological breakthrough: ‘The Turde Shite Detector’, which is SO sophisticated that we use the classy word ‘shite’ instead of the working class ‘shit’.

If you’re a sports fan then you are probably already not familiar at all with the greatest baseball legend in the multiverse: Skinny Stevenson and the tale of the first anal catch.

Finally – a warning about that restaurant that you are about the eat in: This Restaurant Doesn’t Take Shit. For those of you who have eaten in restaurants who take shit – this is what happens when you eat in one that doesn’t.

Welcome/ warning intro

Theme music montage

Losing control of Bowels during Sex

Kev Complains

The Turde Shite detector

(PODCAST PROMO)

The Sports Legend of Skinny Stevenson

This Restaurant Doesn’t Take Shit

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES***

... and you can email us at: bomt@bomt.uk.

8 May 2024

On our premier, very first, episode: BOMT (The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee) transmits from the multiverse: ‘Douche Colossus’, known as the most self-centred ‘me-verse’ of the multiverse.

If you’re listening from Douche Colossus, please reframe from writing love poems to yourself for a moment and listen to the first sketch which asks the critical existential question, “Are you a douche?” And, if you are, do you know which part of the body you should be cleaning?

Strap yourself in for another thrilling adventure of ‘Frank Schwab: School detective’. This week feckless Frank solves the stench infested mystery of the heinous, overpowering, pants pooper.

And, if you think the humour can’t get any lower, next is everyone’s favourite sexual do-it-yourself programme: Practical Sexuality, where you will learn what you can and cannot fit inside you and where in your body you should never stick it.

Humble yourself to the film bio of the most amazing, important, human on the face of the Earth, the man Jesus, God, and all 33 million deities of Hinduism aspire to be like: The Leonard Q. Banglebaum Jr Story.

We conclude our journey to this multiverse with the most pressing issue that threatens extension of our species: the natural gas that the human-ish body expels every moment, is killing our planet, and making a journeys in a sealed elevator unbreathable. We follow the heroic anti-flatulence fascist ‘Just Stop Gas’ complainers/campaigners as they demonstrate why you shouldn’t glue your penis to priceless paintings in protest and how to clench, hold in your natural body gas, and save the planet.

Visit our Patreon page for membership:

patreon.com/BOMT_Podcast