More often than not, people believe their purpose needs to be some singular grandiose thing with worldwide epic impact. Like soul mates, people believe you should only have one purpose. There is one soul mate and one purpose in the entire universe just for you, and that’s it, and it never changes. That’s a limiting and disempowering story.

Everyone has unique, magical gifts. Once a purpose is found, it naturally leads to the desire to know the how - the tools. You can have gifts that don’t directly correlate with what you feel is your purpose.

There is so much angst around purpose - not knowing what it is, not doing it “right”(whatever that means), and judgments upon judgments heaped onto one’s life’s purpose. This question is central in spiritual communities, social media, and the self-help universe. It shows up in different forms and flavours, but all roads feel like they lead to the question - “What’s my life purpose?” Compulsively seeking out and working with people who can help you find your purpose is a surefire way to feel demoralised, impotent, confused, and at the end of the day, not find your purpose.

We discuss things you may want to look for in your quest for purpose and some things you can do to help you on your personal journey of purpose.

Comparison is not only the thief of joy but will also effectively will stall any progress you are making. Comparison is toxic and our culture sells it to us with social media and celebrities. On this one, we urge you to get out of the comparison trap.

The time you spend trying this is well-spent because you can learn valuable lessons. You may think you have reached a dead end, which may be true for you within the arc of that particular part of your journey. It does not mean your time was wasted. Now you know what does not work for you. It’s all valuable information. Everything has a purpose.

This isn’t a race. As a modern person, the day will not come when you wake up and say, “I am healed from everything I have ever gone through in this life.” Perhaps some monastics who live in caves can say this, but they are the exception. You can certainly get to a place where the emotional or psychological charge you feel from a trigger is decreased significantly or no longer there entirely. The pain can be so distant that you may even forget it exists. It’s a magical place to be, but that takes work and time. But you’ll never come to a place where you are all completely healed - 100% from everything.

True healing is not linear. Just like grief, there is not a natural progression when it comes to healing. You may return to old patterns and ways of thinking from time to time. There will be times when you aren’t making any progress, and then something shifts very quickly. It will look like you’ve ruined your healing journey or are not doing anything. You have not “ruined” your healing because you weren’t perfect at it.

You are a multidimensional being with many facets, and so is your healing. At times, things that seem unrelated are completely intertwined. Looking at what activates your emotions can be a clue. Because healing is layered, moving through those layers takes time.

Are you completely overwhelmed by the noise of the people around you trying to “sell” you healing? Have you been disappointed by false promises made by healers who said they could cure you of this ailment or that karmic pattern? Hopefully, you will find solace and peace in these truths, and they may get you out of the latest rabbit hole you find yourself in.

Many healers will create dual relationships with their clients, a slippery slope where many boundaries tend to get crossed.If your emotional or physical boundaries are crossed, you must be clear and let the healer know as quickly as possible.In most cases, these boundary crossings are more aligned with co-dependent healers, where the healer makes you feel special and that you need to take care of them.

Like in psychotherapy and regaining physical fitness, you feel worse before you feel better. Detoxing is real, and a die-off of old patterning is not comfortable.If your inexperienced healer is not helping you, please look for someone with more experience who can help you. If you feel consistently drained or odd after sessions with a particular healer, it may be time to step away from them.

Healing is a process, and though shifts can be very fast, issues that you’ve had for forty years will likely not be healed within the span of a single sixty-minute session. Authentic healers understand that healing is gradual and cannot always promise instantaneous miraculous outcomes. There are many healers out there who are working with some narcissistic personality dynamics. Many of these healers overshare how amazing they are and great their lives are. And after the oversharing comes the overexposing.