• Selfed 47: Mr. Lonely and the decompression chamber

  • Oct 4 2023
  • Length: 1 hr and 5 mins
  • Podcast

Selfed 47: Mr. Lonely and the decompression chamber

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  • Summary

  • Someone recently asked me "Who do you vent to?" and I sort of laughed painfully as I said "Nobody.", On this episode of Selfed, I highlight various unhealthy expressions of loneliness and what can come of us if we take the energy behind that feeling and allow ourselves to be present with it. This morning at 3am I just couldn't sleep. I passed out early and was up at around 1am alone with my thoughts. As loneliness crept its way back in, I caught myself swiping on Tinder, feeling an urge to go to porn, text someone I have no desire to be with, and I just decided after sitting with these feelings for a while to just talk about it. I believe this processing as ugly of a process as it is, is necessary for a human to navigate the world. Unhealthy expressions of loneliness for me are highlighted within this podcast episode along with what I think it can lead to if there's no depressurization regularly happening. Selfed is my decompression chamber. When I come here, I know I'm talking. I know I hear myself say things out loud. I know that people generally suck at just holding space and being quite for an hour while the chaos that is the human mind begins its sausage making process so that it can be best presented and consumed. I have brought people into my unprocessed thoughts and that has ruined relationships in the past, so I'll just put it here as I always have been within the boundaries of certain things like name use. I feel really good about this and I crashed for almost 3 more hours after getting this podcast episode off my chest. So there's something there.
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