⏱ Jump to the Book vs. Movie Review at 50:00

A Swede, a Brit and a Belgian board a train. In case you're worried that this is going to turn into an off-color joke about stereotypes... you'd be half right! So tuck your knives before customs confiscates them and join us on the soul train for a special birthday Patreon episode: Agatha Christie's Murder on the Orient Express.

Kelly hops on board the wrong MTA line time and time again, praying she gets the simple title right. Thankfully Hercule Poirot is a more organized man than herself. With police pad and paper in hand she's made a weak effort to try and solve the murder with the detective supreme. Failing at deducing a motive from a few out of place materials, she can always disappear for a few days.
Agatha Christie is waiting for her at the spa with the best cover story.

Jimmy is measuring mustaches with Kenneth Branagh. A master at masterpiece theatre, Branagh brings day time mystery to the celluloid screen. Guns and romance pepper an otherwise cut and dry murder by numbers. Can a narcissist drum up the intrigue of American movie goers or will the film be laid out flat like Johnny Depp?

Did the subject matter die by words or confusing casting? Only you can decide if we go with option one or two. So gather up all you sleuths with Jim and Kelly in Cabin 16 for a stab at solving a murder.

Hey kids do you like dinosaurs? Science? Being gored by an extinct animal? Unchecked capitalism? The imminent destruction of our fragile ecosystem? Ugh boring, right? But what if I told you a man gets eaten by a TRex... on a toilet? Yeehaw cue the theme song, pack your lunch boxes with Dino DNA and hop in the helicopter, we're heading to Jurassic Park!

Kelly wasn't confident the book would be worth the price of admission but boy was she thankful Crichton was a bigger man than Spielberg. The maths all add up and the chaos in the aviary was enough to have her thinking that science could use some regulation. Social commentary is packed with action- it'll take a few chapters before the tranquilizer hits. If you agree with all of this, meet her and Crichton in the hatchery to dismantle AI.

Jimmy is ready to take you on a tour of a park you'll never forget. So make some room for Chilean sea bass and turn over those Barbasol cans. IT's DODGSON. Spielberg proves that nature always finds a way... to merchandize a franchise. Paradigm shifts aren't just for science. This movie changed the course of Blockbuster films and has forever altered our way of seeing Jeff Goldblum.

The science about dinosaurs has greatly improved since the 90s but not the ideologies about how we use it. Whether you choose book or movie- women will inherit the earth.

'Tis the season to go fruit picking in Italy! If you don't have a translator handy, no worries, we found the subtitles on Amazon prime... but you'll still need to know the etymology for the word apricot. It's Call Me By Your Name.

Jim and Kelly celebrate Pride by finding a new letter on the LGBT spectrum to join them. Guest Peter Turo joins a very queer episode that celebrates fluidity and solipsism. Yet this throuple still have their disagreements.

Author Andre Aciman proves that a rose by any other name would still be so horny. A poetic and lovingly written novel that brings adolescence and sexual awakening to eloquent heights. But is it short sighted when it comes to its ancillary characters? Can a straight man capture everything about a queer love affair?

Luca Guadagnino knows what guys want and it's not Heraclitus. Stunning cinematography, haunting soundtracks, and unforgettable performances made this movie an instant classic. Besides who can celebrate Father's Day without Michael Stuhlbarg (and Jimmy)? But can we overlook a casting choice? Man-eater indeed.

It's a long episode that follows an emotional and physical journey through northern Italy. We meet characters we love, relationships we hate, and ourselves along the way.

Gay, straight, or however you may identify... this book and movie is relatable to all. Come sit in Heaven with us for a summer you will never want to forget.

Who watches the Watchmen? Us. Duh.

Nixon is clutching the nuclear launch codes and we took the month to anatomically put ourselves back together for this special patreon birthday episode. How could this go wrong?

Kelly cracks open her first comic book to find a fun way to play philosopher. Is this really about masked avengers or is it just Kierkegaard in tights? We don't think, therefore we aren't sure. Challenging as a new medium can be, an expression of intellect is still not something to throw into a radioactive particle test chamber and disregard. The squid may have destroyed the city, but it won her heart. She's now on step 3 of the Veidt Method!

Jimmy would like to fight, really he would, but from his spot on Mars... Zack Synder just feels so... insignificant. He saw all the atoms come together, but, though they might look a lot like the comic, the soul of the story just didn't make the director's cut. It doesn't take a Rorschach test to prove you're nuts for preferring the film to the comic. Or maybe you're just seeing a pretty butterfly?

Count down the dooms day clock -and how many times Billy Crudup's blue penis is mentioned- with us. Comic or movie? It's all perspective.

Ladies, are modern day options crippling? Do you spend way too much time deciding between which primary color to wear and enjoy the thrill of voting against your basic needs? Well do we have a future for you!

Kelly puts all her eggs in Margaret Atwood's basket. This Canadian author wrote a long form poem that chills, maybe not thrills, but certainly instills a fear for our future autonomy. We humans need love, touch, communication, and most importantly...to read. Apparently "my body my choice" translates into Latin as "Nolite Te Bastardes Carborundorum."

Civil war! Canada! Men! Clitoridectomies! The tv series The Handmaid's Tale might not have the subtle haunting poetry of the novel, but the bodies be swinging under his eye. If you don't want to delve in the cold waters of prose to understand how your human rights are at stake, maybe Elizabeth Moss' face will get you freaked enough to swear off red. Commander Jimmy certainly thinks so.

If you're Offred or just Off-men we've got you covered. Whether you choose book or TV show, it's a perfect May Day for a revolution.

It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's just a supermodel swan diving off the balcony. Some might call it foul play so it's up to a British sleuth(s)and these American readers to get to the bottom of it. But first, let's hit the pub and pick up a special guest to help us solve the murder of the teleplay for the Cormoran Strike Series.

Kelly has found a friend to help defend JKRowling's pseudonym and detective series. She'd use their pronouns but that might not jive with the author. Regardless, the book holds strong as a fun read with a shocking and impactful twist. Developed characters make for better red herrings... to not agree is plain cuckoo.

Jimmy might not have a leg to stand on but he tries his best to pass off this Max's miniseries as watchable. If they had the HBO money daytime television could really be brought to new heights. Oh well, it's not worth drawing a hot bath over.

Don't leave us chilling on the balcony, help us pour the piping hot tea on this special birthday episode.

Is that love in the air? Gross, put my ball gag back in for some autoerotic asphyxiation. Welcome to Fifty Shades of Grey, a book and movie as vibrant as its slate color scheme. XXX content? More like Zzz's.

EL James might not know what BDSM is or how a 21 year old woman talks, but that didn't stop her from riff'ing off Twilight. Kelly could defend her...but in the words of the author "Holy Cow, it's so hard." Thesaurus' were spanked within an inch of their limit and e-mails tied up the plot with handcuffs.

Jimmy made it through watching the film and gave it a whole half a star for the effort. Can excessive lip biting save a romance film without any chemistry? The red room of pain was the movie theatre and we all felt like Dakota Johnson... sore and a little bewildered how we got here. Nothing a pair of stolen set panties can't fix.

If you want whips and chains... maybe skip this book/movie. Cause it's vanilla (laters) baby.

Thirteen year old girls can really put the "me" in migraines. Been there, done that. But since it's January and the play is cancelled let's solve a mystery and accidentally doom a few lives while we're at it. It was the Gardener in the Library with the Vase! The Chocolate War Profiteer in the garden! No, it's not Clue, it's the saddest love story that never was.

Ian McEwan rewrote a young girl's history at the cost of her geriatric neurological health. Spoiler alert: sad. Maybe some friendly plagiarism can smooth over all prepubescent faux pas? This book proves that all beautiful streams of consciousness flow downward. Kelly is willing to put her ego aside and to say sorry for all her past wrongs... in 70 years... when everyone is dead. Though maybe she just wrote the c word over and over again in a letter.

Oscar nominations abound for the 2007 film adaption. The ever so charming James McAvoy works harder than Keira Knightly's jaw to bring McEwan's prose to the big screen on his sweet little Angel face. Don't worry guys, it's not sappy. We think you'll like it because... WWII. That's what you like right? Scooch over Nolan, this was the OG Dunkirk!

Can Jimmy's movie beat out one of Times Magazine Best 100 Novels or did he, in the words of Paul Marshall, "bite it"? Sorry not sorry.

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