Today we have couples and relationship therapist, Tom Bruett, LMFT (he/him). Tom specializes in supporting gay men and is the author of The Go To Relationship Guide for Gay Men: From Honeymoon to Lasting Commitment (out now!). I was excited to have Tom on because I want to create more space to talk about the power and complexities of the romantic relationships we pursue in our Second Adolescence. In this conversation, we chat about a lot of the work Tom does with gay men, what couples and relationship therapy entails, how and why unaddressed trauma comes up in our relationships, how relationships can be containers for our own personal growth and healing, and so much more. I so loved getting to connect with Tom and am excited to invite you all into the chat!

About the guest:

Tom Bruett, LMFT is a therapist, trainer, consultant, and author who works extensively with the queer community. He is the founder of the Queer Relationship Institute, which provides therapy for queer folx and training for therapists who work with queer relationships. Tom has trained under Drs. Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson in the Developmental Model of Relationship Therapy, which he now trains other therapists in. His book The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men: From Honeymoon to Lasting Commitment will be published by Jessica Kingsley in March 2025. In his downtime, he loves theatre, travel, and collaborating with his partner to keep their rescue dog, Millie, from causing too much mischief.

Get Tom's book HERE.

You can follow Tom's work at @queerrelationshipinstitute and www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com.

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod.

On today’s episode, we have Brandan Robertson (he/him). Brandan is known on the internet as the “TikTok Pastor,” with lots of folks tuning into his inclusive theological digital content across social media. I was curious to have Brandan come on to add to the conversation we’ve been having about queerness - I’ve gotten to speak with lots of folks whom as part of their healing have created distance between themselves and religion and God, but I’ve also heard from folks who are seeking ways to integrate their queerness with a faith as an adult. Brandan is a great resource here because he author of the forthcoming book “Queer & Christian: Reclaiming the Bible, Our Faith, and Our Place at the Table." The book and todays conversation are really about how queer folks can do just that - reclaim their faith. Even if you’re not seeking this for yourself, I found this conversation to be interesting and informative.

Pre-order Queer & Christian HERE

About the guest:

Rev. Brandan Robertson is a noted author, activist, and public theologian, dedicated to exploring the intersections of spirituality, sexuality, and social justice. He serves as the Pastor of Sunnyside Reformed Church in New York City and is the founder and Executive Director of The Devout Foundation. Known as the "TikTok Pastor," Robertson's inclusive theological content reaches over 250,000 followers and has garnered 6 million views. He has authored 23 books, including the INDIES Book of the Year finalist True Inclusion. His work has been featured in TIME Magazine, CNN, and The Washington Post. Robertson is a sought-after speaker who regularly presents at prestigious platforms like The White House and Oxford University, continuing to inspire and challenge audiences around the world. Robertson acquired a Bachelor of Arts in Pastoral Ministry and Biblical Studies from Moody Bible Institute, an Master of Theological Study from Iliff School of Theology, and an Master of Arts in Political Science and Public Administration from Eastern Illinois University. He's presently pursuing a PhD in Biblical Studies at Drew University. He currently resides in New York City.

Connect with Brandan on TikTok & Instagram

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod.

Our guest on today’s episode is a man we’re going to call "David" - David is not his real name, he’s using a pseudonym.

We recorded this conversation about a year into his uncovering his bisexuality in his early 60s, something he started doing alongside grieving the passing of his wife of over 40 years. Prior to passing, his wife encouraged him to live a happy life when she's gone. Though she may not have been anticipating this turn, he is in a current chapter of stepping into his full self for the first time.

To ease the fear he held in pursuing gay experiences, David sought the support of male escorts as a way to ease into this world. The result has proven to be very powerful and healing, with escorts having acted as safe supports guiding him in unlocking his queerness and stepping into his Second Adolescence.

There’s definitely a nuanced conversation we all could and should have about sex work and the experience of sex workers, and that is so important, but this conversation is really about highlighting one man’s meaningful healing journey that has been aided by their support, and I am so grateful to David for offering this story to this collective work and am so honored to get to invite you all into it.

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod (IG).