Episodes

  • The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 8: Today is Football | Roleplay Retcon

    The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 8: Today is Football | Roleplay Retcon
    Feb 26 2025
    It's finally the day of the Big Game, and the bonds that once bound these baller boys are starting to bend. Bocepherous runs it in. Portman phones it in. Cornflake digs it in. Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence Back our new game FLOPS on Kickstarter! Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monday! Soundtrack by Them Damn Dogs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing Play Ball! by Roe Caufield! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Patreon has bon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us content⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Discord has bonus people⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ We're part of the One Shot Network! Produced by Two Fish in a Jug! This episode edited by Benjamin Gray! Additional music by Cody Martin Sound effects courtesy Soundstripe and Freesound. Logo by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jeanette Blasius⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!
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    57 mins
  • The Longest Yard (2005), Ep.7: An Intrigue of Their Own | Roleplay Retcon

    The Longest Yard (2005), Ep.7: An Intrigue of Their Own | Roleplay Retcon
    Feb 13 2025
    Cornflake's shady past is now public knowledge and his social stock has plummeted. To get back on the team's good side and convince Portman that he's in mortal danger, he resolves to get proof of the Warden's dark plans from his office. Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence Back our new game FLOPS on Kickstarter! Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monday! Soundtrack by Them Damn Dogs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing Play Ball! by Roe Caufield! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Patreon has bon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us content⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Discord has bonus people⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ We're part of the One Shot Network! Produced by Two Fish in a Jug! This episode edited by Benjamin Gray! Logo by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jeanette Blasius⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!
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    50 mins
  • The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 6: The Longest Yarn | Roleplay Retcon

    The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 6: The Longest Yarn | Roleplay Retcon
    Jan 29 2025
    Everything's going great! Pizza party! Bocepherous nails an interception. Cornflake calls a timeout. Portman plays defense. Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monday! Soundtrack by Them Damn Dogs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing Play Ball! by Roe Caufield! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Patreon has bon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us content⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Discord has bonus people⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ We're part of the One Shot Network! Produced by Two Fish in a Jug! This episode edited by Benjamin Gray! Logo by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jeanette Blasius⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!
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    48 mins
  • The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 5: Bone Down for What | Roleplay Retcon

    The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 5: Bone Down for What | Roleplay Retcon
    Jan 15 2025
    The team has its first practice, and one thing becomes clear to Coach Burt: They're gonna have to cheat. Bocepherous finds a moral loophole. Cornflake meets the prison's biggest shipper. Portman gives a disjointed speech. Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, sexual content Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monday! Soundtrack by Them Damn Dogs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing Play Ball! by Roe Caufield! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Patreon has bon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us content⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Discord has bonus people⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ We're part of the One Shot Network! Produced by Two Fish in a Jug! This episode edited by Benjamin Gray! Logo by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jeanette Blasius⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!
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    1 hr and 16 mins
  • The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 4: I Did Not Shoot the Burger Prince | Roleplay Retcon

    The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 4: I Did Not Shoot the Burger Prince | Roleplay Retcon
    Jan 1 2025
    It's up to Cornflake to find his way into solitary confinement and recruit their safety-- the mysterious Peter Pistol, who has a troubled past and a troubled heart. Portman tags along for the first phase of the plan, but he has his own idea of how it should shake out... Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, sexual content, gun violence, lyrics alluding to suicide Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monday! Soundtrack by Them Damn Dogs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing Play Ball! by Roe Caufield! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Patreon has bon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us content⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Discord has bonus people⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ We're part of the One Shot Network! Produced by Two Fish in a Jug! This episode edited by Benjamin Gray! Logo by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jeanette Blasius⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!
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    47 mins
  • Red One (2024) with The Fight Before Christmas | Roleplay Retcon

    Red One (2024) with The Fight Before Christmas | Roleplay Retcon
    Dec 21 2024
    Red One is the first movie we've remade while the original is still in theaters, but its wasted Metal Gear Solid meets Santa premise and $100 million loss at the box office begged us to do it ASAP. We're remaking it with The Fight Before Christmas, a hack of Lasers and Feelings that has players creating operatives with a vendetta against Santa. Saint Nick has gone on a rampage, destroying every toy factory and toy store in the world, and elite team YULECAT has been assembled. Now Santa's personal bodyguard, his walking narwhal partner, a lifelong naughty lister professional armchair detective, and Mrs. Claus must find Santa and bring him back-- with his ass kicked, if necessary. Content Warnings: Profanity, guns, violence, death, gore, sexual references, child endangerment Starring Ben's cousin Charlie from Super Mario Bros. (1993), Dungeons and Dragons (2000), and Arrested Development: Fateful Consequences! We're playing The Fight Before Christmas! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Patreon has bon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us content⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Discord has bonus people⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ We're part of the One Shot Network! Produced by Two Fish in a Jug! This episode edited by Benjamin Gray! Logo by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jeanette Blasius⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!
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    1 hr and 41 mins
  • The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 3: Hoops, There It Is | Roleplay Retcon

    The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 3: Hoops, There It Is | Roleplay Retcon
    Dec 18 2024
    Burt Reynolds proclaims himself the prison team's coach with some pushback, but not enough to matter. The boys make trips to the basketball court, the library, and the labor yard to recruit more players to the team. Portman takes the rule of threes too far. Bocepherous finds someone with a weirder name than his. Cornflake cannot make sense of this. Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence, blood, sexual references Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monday! Soundtrack by Them Damn Dogs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing Play Ball! by Roe Caufield! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Patreon has bon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us content⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Discord has bonus people⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ We're part of the One Shot Network! Produced by Two Fish in a Jug! This episode edited by Benjamin Gray! Logo by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jeanette Blasius⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!
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    53 mins
  • The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 2: Gruel Intentions | Roleplay Retcon

    The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 2: Gruel Intentions | Roleplay Retcon
    Dec 4 2024
    The boys split up to begin building the team. Cornflake finds some art supplies. Bocepherous gets a dose of reality. Portman has a memorable meal. Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monday! Soundtrack by Them Damn Dogs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing Play Ball! by Roe Caufield! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Patreon has bon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us content⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Discord has bonus people⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ We're part of the One Shot Network! Produced by Two Fish in a Jug! This episode edited by Benjamin Gray! Logo by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jeanette Blasius⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!
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    1 hr and 21 mins