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Perfectionism Rewired

Perfectionism Rewired

De: Perfectionist Solutions
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 How do I stop living in fear of failure? Why can't I stop overthinking? When will I feel good enough? Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I self-sabotage? Will ruminating + catastrophizing ever end? There's a BETTER Way to Perfectionism, that's empowering highly driven, Type-A, ambitious perfectionists to OWN their perfectionistic tendencies instead of being owned by it. Perfectionism Rewired host Courtney Love Gavin (CLG) illuminates this in every episode. Listen for fierce insights for perfectionists on exiting victim mentality, what self-sabotage *really is*, how to stop people pleasing without compromising kindness, overthinking, catastrophizing, ruminating and black and white thinking, so you can quit fighting against your perfectionistic tendencies and start enjoying the life you've worked so hard to create. Perfectionism Rewired podcast provides answers to questions like: - Self worth vs self esteem - Why am I overthinking - How to increase self confidence - What causes perfectionism anxiety - Why am i so hard on myself - Am I A Perfectionist - WTF is Interoception? Does It Build Resilience? - how to rewire your brain Being a perfectionist is very powerful. But only if you know how to leverage it. For more on optimizing your perfectionism go to https://courtneylovegavin.com2025 Perfectionist Solutions Ciencia Ciencias Biológicas Desarrollo Personal Hygiene & Healthy Living Psicología Psicología y Salud Mental Éxito Personal
Episodios
  • How To Feel Your Feelings (So They Stop Controlling You)

    How To Feel Your Feelings (So They Stop Controlling You)
    May 7 2025
    What if feeling your feelings didn’t mean falling apart — but actually gave you more control, not less? If white knuckling or pushing through is the best way you know how to feel your feelings. You’re not alone.Discover the hidden mistake keeping perfectionists stuck feeling on edge, why you can never outthink your feelings and the right way to feel your feelings.Want to bring rewiring into your reality? Where being confident, certain and playful is just how you roll? Perfectionist Solutions 1-1 coaching is your next step.Mentioned In Episode 254:Perfectionism Optimized 1 to 1 coachingPerfectionismRewired.comOther helpful podcast episodes in this series on How Your Brain Actually Works:Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 251Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 252Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 253Timestamps:00:00-Your thoughts create your feelings LIE #101:53-Can't Feel Your Feelings Without This04:14-Knowing how your brain actually works05:24-"What is Wrong With Me?" Explained06:37-Feelings Are Psychological LIE #207:16-Feelings are Emotions LIE #308:56-Where Feelings Actually Come From10:08-How Depersonalizing Feelings = Freedom12:46-Turning Mom Meltdown Moments Around (Manon's Story)14:35-How To Control Your Feelings16:01-Rational Thinking + Decisions LIE #417:32-Striving For Excellence Without Pushing Through18:29-What Your Person Account Has To Do With Feelings19:41-How To Identify Your Feelings Fast21:12-How To Feel Your Feelings Visual Tool22:33-Why Meditation + Deep Breaths Don’t Always Work23:58-Thoughts Drive Your Feelings LIES #525:57-Perspectacles How Feelings Shape Your Perceptions28:37-Turning Your Mood into Useful Fuel30:07-Where Sense Data Fits Into The EquationHow To Feel Your Feelings Q&AQ: Why does “changing my thoughts” never changes my feelings—especially as a perfectionist?
A: This episode breaks down the myth that thoughts drive feelings (hint: it’s the other way around!). Discover why “thought work” is a torture device for perfectionidtic people and how the “CTFAR Model” does not actually work for any human with a brainQ: What’s really going on when I’m overwhelmed by emotions even if everything looks fine on the outside?
A: You’ll learn the neuroscientific difference between feelings and emotions, plus why this distinction puts an to the cycle of overthinking feelings and asking “what is wrong with me”Q: What's the biggest misconception high-achievers have about feelings?
A: Most of us have a totally backward understanding of where feelings come from (and it’s not just psychological!). Courtney reveals the real, science-backed answer.Q: How can I feel my feelings without getting “lost” in them or falling apart?
A: Tune in for a client success story and discover a practical tool—the “mood meter”—to help you regain control and function, even on tough days.Q: Does thinking rationally mean I can escape feelings?
A: Logic and rationality can’t bypass feelings. Find out why every decision (yes, even the “rational” ones!) are shaped by your mood — and how to use this knowledge to your advantage.Q: What’s one quick, practical tweak I can use to feel better fast?
A: Courtney shares micro-strategies (think 30 seconds to 3 minutes) you can use right away to change your mood—and your experience.Highly Credible Resources Cited in this EpisodeBar, M. (2009). The proactive brain: memory for predictions. *Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B Biological Sciences*, *364*(1521), 1235–1243. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2008.0310Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.Barrett, L. F. (2006). Valence is a basic building block of emotional life. Journal of Research in Personality, 40(1), 35–55. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2005.08.006Barrett, L. F. (2016). The theory of constructed emotion: an active inference account of interoception and categorization. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, nsw154. https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsw154Barrett, L. F., & Bar, M. (2009). See it with feeling: affective predictions during object perception. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 364(1521), 1325–1334. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2008.0312Barrett, L. F., Gross, J., Christensen, T. C., & Benvenuto, M. (2001). Knowing what you're feeling and knowing what to do about it: Mapping the relation between emotion differentiation and emotion regulation. Cognition and Emotion, 15(6), 713–724. https://doi.org/10.1080/02699930143000239Barrett, L. F., & Russell, J. A. (1999). The Structure of Current Affect. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 8(1), 10–14. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-8721.00003Braem, S., Coenen, E., Klaas Bombeke, Bochove, van, & Wim Notebaert. (2015). Open your eyes for prediction errors. *Cognitive Affective & Behavioral ...
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    32 m
  • Access Your Abilities in a Way Burnt Out You Could Never Compete With

    Access Your Abilities in a Way Burnt Out You Could Never Compete With
    Apr 8 2025

    You’re doing everything right. You’re ambitious, successful + driven. So why is it your energy is nonexistent, patience is razor-thin + your mind can't stop overthinking? If your days are starting with dread and ending in exhaustion — this episode is your wake-up call.

    On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or accessing your abilities in a way burnt out you could never compete with, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

    In this Episode You’ll Learn:
    • How pushing through dewires your brain into survival mode
    • What caffeine, people pleasing + Top Ramen have in common
    • 16 surprising signs your brain is starving
    • Why ruminating and indecisiveness are symptoms—not problems to solve
    • How a healthy Person Account™ allows you to access your abilities in a way burnt out you could never compete with

    Resources Mentioned In Episode 253:
    • Recharge your Person Account Book your Perfect Start 1:1 session now
    • Magic Skill for Control of Emotions [Neuroscience Series #1] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248
    • How Perfectionist Brain *Actually* Works [Neuroscience Series #2] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249
    • Can't Stop Ruminating? Here's Why [Neuroscience Series #3] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250
    • Neuroplasticity [Neuroscience Series #4] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 251
    • #1 Thing Stops Perfectionists From Growth [Neuroscience Series #5] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 252

    TIMESTAMPS:

    02:09-Why Perfectionists Need More Fuel for Our Brains
    04:10-MYTH: You Have to Stop Being a Perfectionist
    06:24-Clues You’re on the Path to Chronic Stress
    09:32-Burn Out is Not the Price of Ambition
    10:25-Case Study: How Stacey found Clarity, Energy, Peace
    12:43-I Ruminate Over Decisions bc I Need to Make the Right Decision
    14:05-Why You’re Choosing Instant Relief (and Paying Later)
    16:11-A Healthy Person Account™ = Liberation
    17:32-How to Always Know How Your Person Account™ is Doing

    Citations/Sources:
    1. Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
    2. Barrett, L. F., Quigley, K. S., & Hamilton, P. (2016). An active inference theory of allostasis and interoception in depression. *Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences*, *371*(1708), 20160011. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2016.0011
    3. Bobba-Alves, N., Juster, R.-P., & Picard, M. (2022). The energetic cost of allostasis and allostatic load. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 146, 105951. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2022.105951
    4. Dwyer, P. (2022). The Neurodiversity Approach(es): What Are They and What Do They Mean for Researchers? Human Development, 66(2), 73–92.
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    19 m
  • The #1 Thing That Stops Perfectionists from Growth

    The #1 Thing That Stops Perfectionists from Growth
    Mar 28 2025

    Feel like you're working hard but not seeing the progress you want? It's NOT YOU or your PERFECTIONISM – it's your Person Account™ . Discover my proprietary framework that’s changing the game for Perfectionist Solution’s clients, and will do the same for you.

    In this Episode You’ll Learn:
    • How ruminating + running a 10k impact you the exact same way
    • Why perfectionist brains work overtime + cost more to operate
    • How to tell if you’re operating in a constant state of depletion without realizing it
    • What Cortisol actually is (it's NOT a STRESS HORMONE)
    • The hidden reason therapy + personal development don't work

    On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

    Resources Mentioned In Episode 252:
    • Perfect Start Session
    • Magic Skill for Control of Emotions [Neuroscience Series #1] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248
    • How Perfectionist Brain *Actually* Works [Neuroscience Series #2] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249
    • Can't Stop Ruminating? Here's Why [Neuroscience Series #3] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250

    TIMESTAMPS:

    0:53-Why You're Not Making Progress Despite Trying Harder
    02:15-Allostasis: How Your Brain Allocates
    05:07-The Hidden Reason Therapy Isn’t Working
    06:30-Why Perfectionist Brains Cost More to Operate
    07:25-Living in a Depleted State Without Realizing It
    09:31-Stressed out: Eustress vs. Distress
    10:29-Truth about Cortisol + Stress Response
    12:35-The Slow Drip of Perfectionist Burnout
    15:17-How to Tell if You’re Running on Empty

    Citations/Sources:
    1. Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
    2. Bobba-Alves, N., Juster, R.-P., & Picard, M. (2022). The energetic cost of allostasis and allostatic load. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 146, 105951. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2022.105951
    3. Dwyer, P. (2022). The Neurodiversity Approach(es): What Are They and What Do They Mean for Researchers? Human Development, 66(2), 73–92. https://doi.org/10.1159/000523723
    4. Ganzel, B. L., & Morris, P. A. (2011). Allostasis and the developing human brain: Explicit consideration of implicit models. Development and Psychopathology, 23(4), 955–974. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0954579411000447‌
    5. Guidi, J., Lucente, M., Sonino, N., & Fava, Giovanni A. (2020). Allostatic Load and Its Impact on Health: A Systematic Review. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, 90(1), 11–27. https://doi.org/10.1159/000510696
    6. Kleckner, I. R., Zhang, J., Touroutoglou, A., Chanes, L., Xia, C., Simmons, W. K., Quigley, K. S., Dickerson, B. C., & Feldman Barrett, L. (2017). Evidence for a large-scale brain system supporting allostasis and interoception in humans....
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    17 m
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