In today's episode, we’re diving into what avoidant partner deactivation looks like and how you can respond to this experience in a way that protects your emotional wellbeing and prevents further spiralling and disconnection.

We’ll explore the subtle ways avoidant partners create distance—whether emotionally, physically, or in their communication—and how these behaviours stem from their attachment patterns rather than a lack of care or love. Importantly, we’ll talk about what you can do in these moments to maintain connection without pressuring your partner or compromising your own self-worth.

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Upcoming Events

• Byron Bay Retreat - Apply now! 🏝️
• Sydney Intensive - Buy tickets

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website

In today's episode, we're talking all about validation — and specifically, why it is so essential for anxiously attached people in building more security within themselves and in their relationships.

Most anxiously attached people are accustomed to feeling chronically invalidated (in part because they tend to do this to themselves), always wondering if they are too much, too needy, too sensitive, too paranoid, and so on. This can lead to over-reliance on a partner or others external to us to determine whether our experience is real and valid.

Tune in for a discussion on why validation is so important for anxious attachers, and how we can give ourselves this gift to build more security and self-assuredness.

Join On Attachment Insiders, my new membership community

Upcoming Events

• Byron Bay Retreat - Apply now! 🏝️
• Sydney Intensive - Buy tickets

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website

In today's episode, we're talking all about the abandonment wound — and specifically, five scenarios that might unexpectedly trigger your fears and insecurities around abandonment. When we think about the fear of abandonment, we often imagine scenarios where someone physically leaves us—maybe a breakup or a loved one walking out the door. But the truth is, this fear can manifest in much more subtle and unexpected ways, especially for those of us with anxious attachment patterns.

We'll cover:

• how periods of grief or loss can trigger abandonment fears
• illness and wanting to be cared for
• dealing with unexpected life challenges
• periods of transition or major life changes
• emotional overwhelm and the need for support

Join my new membership, On Attachment Insiders today!

Join On Attachment Insiders, my new membership community

Upcoming Events

• Byron Bay Retreat - Apply now! 🏝️
• Sydney Intensive - Buy tickets

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website

In this episode, we dive into the growing issue of phone usage and its impact on relationship satisfaction, especially when one partner feels neglected, ignored and frustrated by the other's screen time.

We explore why constant phone use can feel so personal, discuss strategies for approaching the topic constructively, and offer practical ways to set digital boundaries together. If you’re struggling with a partner’s phone habits, this episode will give you tools to foster more connection and understanding.

Join my new membership community, On Attachment Insiders 🌎

Join On Attachment Insiders, my new membership community

Upcoming Events

• Byron Bay Retreat - Apply now! 🏝️
• Sydney Intensive - Buy tickets

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website

In this episode, we're exploring the common and very human experience of hoping an ex will come back after a break-up, saying they've changed their mind and want to reconcile.

Whether you were left unexpectedly or the break-up was a long time coming, the hope that an ex will realise their mistake and come back can be powerful and all-consuming. I'll share some mindset reframes and tools to relate to your hoping differently, so you can validate yourself while still moving forward in a direction that supports your wellbeing and next chapter.

Additional Resources

• Break-up quiz
• Guided closure meditation
• Higher Love course (save 50% with coupon code PHOENIX)

Join On Attachment Insiders, my new membership community

Upcoming Events

• Byron Bay Retreat - Apply now! 🏝️
• Sydney Intensive - Buy tickets

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website

In this episode, we’re diving into how fearful avoidant attachment (also known as disorganised attachment) plays out in relationships. If you identify with this attachment style, you might notice certain patterns in your relationships that feel confusing or contradictory.

Key points include:

• Feelings of instability in relationships: Many with fearful avoidant attachment feel fine when single, but painful emotions surface in relationships, often leading to blaming their partner.
• Impact of partner's attachment style: A hallmark of fearful avoidant attachment is the shift between anxious and avoidant behaviours, which can vary from one partner to the next depending on the attachment combinations.
• Idealising vs. villainising partners: There’s a tendency to place partners on a pedestal at times, but then quickly villainise them when triggered or threatened.
• Fear of intimacy vs. longing for connection: Fearful avoidants deeply crave closeness, but a core fear of rejection — often rooted in shame — makes true intimacy feel unsafe. Fear of betrayal and difficulties with trust are also common.

Join On Attachment Insiders, my new membership community

Upcoming Events

• Byron Bay Retreat - Apply now! 🏝️
• Sydney Intensive - Buy tickets

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website

In today’s episode, we’re talking about how to navigate emotional triggers in a healthy and constructive way. Whether it’s a comment, an argument, or even an unexpected event, triggers can send us into emotional overdrive, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from ourselves. But with the right tools, you can slow down the spiral and regain control over your emotions.

I’ll guide you through a simple, four-step process to help you work through triggers in real time. We’ll explore how to pause and ground yourself, tune into what’s happening in your body, examine the story you’re telling yourself about the situation, and identify what you truly need to move forward.

If you’ve ever felt hijacked by your emotions and want practical steps to bring more calm and clarity to these moments, this episode is for you.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why we get triggered and how the body responds to perceived threats
• The importance of pausing and creating space before reacting
• How to tune into your body to notice sensations and ground yourself
• Questions to help you check the story you’re telling yourself about the situation
• How to discern whether you need to have a conversation or if you can genuinely let it go
• Identifying what you need to feel empowered and move forward

✨ Download the free cheat sheet on How to Work Through a Trigger here ✨

Join On Attachment Insiders, my new membership community

Upcoming Events

• Byron Bay Retreat - Apply now! 🏝️
• Sydney Intensive - Buy tickets

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website

How do you know if you're ready for a relationship? Perhaps you've asked yourself this question — and in today's episode, that's what we're exploring. While I don't believe we ever reach some objective place of being "healed enough" to enter a relationship, I do believe there are certain indicators we can look out for — signs that we're in a strong place mentally and emotionally, which will set us up for the best possible chance at finding and building a healthy partnership.

Join On Attachment Insiders, my new membership community

Upcoming Events

• Byron Bay Retreat - Apply now! 🏝️
• Sydney Intensive - Buy tickets

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website