In our inaugural episode, we prologue with our actual first session which recording was completely deleted due to gross incompetence. What follows is conversations: with a nice tea laundress, with a root vegetable-obsessed undead river sorceress, with a giant drug dealing spider grandma. We try not to kill things unless we really have to, mostly because we suck and would probably die.

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The gang meets Grinkelstink Grumpkin, hairfancier and writer of erotic undead fanfic, as well as expert in apocrypha, burgeoning social revolutionary, and all around good guy. All clues regarding our Tsathoggua problem lead to the Ravenlocks' ostentatious burial mound. Ven's feline fixation notwithstanding, our descent begins.

Depths are plumbed. Tsathoggua is revealed, and is much more adorable than imagined. A reckoning with the town cult is inevitable. Can our heroes avoid slaughtering pretty much every named character they've encountered and depopulating the entire village?

The villagers have awoken from their adorable puppydog-induced slumber, but danger yet threatens. Ven fulfills his destiny with explosive panache. Honeydew fulfills his with a fair bit more porcine romance. Our heroes grieve, recoup, and bask in some well-deserved accolades, but the stormcloud of Authority gathers on the horizon... ft. Ax Felix & Tokyo Rude

The Heroes of Tumford dust themselves off from their gritty victory in the Barrows. Spirits are high, but not everyone in town is undamaged. Leads are chased, biographies are written and riveted mail is painstakingly handcrafted during the seven days of downtime. We end with a cliffhanger regarding the fate of one of our band - but it'll still be two days til we say we're sorry.

Our heroes must rescue one of their number, the devout Ven Ryefort, from certain doom. The sands run through the hourglass as they attempt to discover the secrets of the barrow where he is trapped before he is seized by the stygian hand of death. Can they uncover the Irtyan conspiracy that lies at the heart of this gravemound? Mostly, kind of. Guest starring a humongous fungus among us.

Ven having been rescued from the grim clutches of death, our heroes return to the light and experience the cosmopolitan delights of the Tumford Millennial Faire. Leaf merchants are interrogated; sheriffs are elected; charlatans are karmically counter-swindled; hogs are beautified. Perhaps most importantly, our heroes smell adventure on the horizon, and begin to make overtures of leaving sleepy (though no longer so somnolent, perhaps) Tumford for points south.

Meet Fatgris. He controls lightning, he's depressed, and he loves to party. He's also something of a straightedge, which is a recipe for unpopularity in Gabbalusian Tumford, home of leaf merchants, spider juices and facial spores alike. With an elven Narnia portal lurking, God knows what remaining in the market, and the mysteries of the South beckoning, can our heroes resolve these 8000 quest hooks before they break out to the wider world?