Shame can’t survive being spoken—but in many marriages, it’s never given the chance.

In this powerful episode of Marriage iQ, we’re joined by Steve O’Connor, founder of Catholics Fight Porn, for a vulnerable and eye-opening conversation about the hidden impact of guilt and shame in marriage.

We explore:

🔹 The critical difference between “I made a mistake” (guilt) and “I am the mistake” (shame)
🔹 How shame fuels cycles of secrecy, isolation, and emotional disconnection
🔹 The surprising ways shame shows up—from sexual struggles to money to emotional avoidance

You’ll also learn practical strategies for:

✅ Recognizing shame-based patterns in your relationship
✅ Creating safety for honest, vulnerable conversations
✅ Turning moments of exposure into moments of connection

Steve shares deeply from his work and personal journey—emphasizing the healing power of faith, support systems, and full disclosure in restoring intimacy and rebuilding trust.

Whether you’ve battled shame silently or you’re walking with a partner who is, this episode offers a roadmap for transforming pain into deeper love.

Listen in—and discover how facing shame together can lead to healing, freedom, and deeper connection.

Resources:

CATHOLICS FIGHT P0RN

-Get daily, uplifting CFP BOOST Texts for the journey by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337

-For 30 days Free of Covenant Eyes, sign up at: https://www.covenanteyes.com
PROMO CODE: CFP
-Get a sweet, safe, locked-down phone [that's not a flip phone] - Get a Wisephone! Use Promo Code: CFP to save $25 -- https://www.techless.com/CFP
-Join the Finally Free Coaching Group: https://www.catholicsfightporn.com/need-help
-Book a Complimentary, Confidential Call with Steve: https://www.catholicsfightporn.com/contact
-Email: steve@catholicsfightporn.com
-Connect with Steve on Instagram @catholicrecovery
-Steve and a betrayed partner coach guide couples through the Full Disclosure process for those looking for full truth in their relationship. Email Steve for more info.

Can marriage be the most underrated health intervention of all time?

In this eye-opening episode of Marriage IQ, we explore the powerful link between marriage and your physical and mental health—and the research might surprise you. From lower mortality rates to a dramatic drop in substance abuse, the science suggests that a strong marriage might be more effective than some medications when it comes to long-term well-being.

We break down fascinating findings, including:

💗 Why married people have lower mortality rates and better heart health

🧠 The connection between marriage and reduced risk of depression, substance abuse, and cognitive decline

🎗️ How marriage impacts cancer diagnosis, survival rates, and recovery

📉 Why marriage can lead to up to a 70% reduction in substance abuse

Whether you're married, dating, or still figuring it all out, this episode offers research-backed insights and practical takeaways on how relationships shape our health—for better or worse.

Join us as we unpack:

• The gender gap in marriage-related health benefits

• Why marriage quality matters more than just your relationship status

• The critical role of social support in your overall wellness

  
  

You’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of why investing in your marriage might be one of the best things you can do for your body, mind, and future.

“Simply being married decreased their substance abuse by 60 to 70%.” — Dr. Heidi Hastings

Hit play to find out why your relationship might be your most powerful prescription yet. 🎧💬

#MarriageIQ #RelationshipHealth #Wellness #ScienceOfMarriage #MentalHealthMatters

00:00:01
Introduction to Marriage iQ and Episode Topic

00:05:30
Marriage and Mortality Rates

00:15:45
Cardiovascular Health and Marital Status

00:25:20
Marriage's Impact on Mental Health

00:35:10
Quality of Marriage and Health Outcomes

00:00:02
Introduction to Marriage iQ Podcast

00:00:34
The Health Benefits of Marriage

00:06:54
Marriage and Heart Health

00:10:26
Marriage and Cancer Outcomes

00:13:43
Marriage and Lifestyle Habits

00:15:07
Marriage and Mental Health

00:21:33
Quality of Marriage Matters

00:25:35
Correlation vs. Causation in Marriage and Health

00:28:16
Gender Differences in Marriage Benefits

00:30:15
Conclusion: The Importance of Quality Relationships

Key Insights on Marriage and Health:Why This Episode Matters:

Ever feel stuck in the same relationship patterns—whether in your marriage, parenting, or extended family? In this powerful episode of Marriage IQ, we uncover the hidden forces shaping your relationships through family systems theory with Dr. Kathleen Smith, therapist and author of True to You: A Therapist’s Guide to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Being Yourself.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✅ How Family Systems Theory Explains Your Relationship Struggles Dr. Smith breaks down Murray Bowen’s groundbreaking work on how families operate as living, interconnected systems. Discover:

• Why one person’s behavior shift can transform an entire family dynamic

• How deeply ingrained family patterns affect your marriage, parenting, and self-growth

• The power of "zooming out" to see your relationship challenges more clearly
  

✅ Anxiety in Relationships: How It Shapes Your Reactions Are you responding to real threats or just your brain’s anxiety-driven patterns? Learn how to:

• Recognize anxiety’s hidden role in your relationship struggles

• Stop mind-reading and making harmful assumptions about your spouse

• Replace reactive emotions with curiosity and intentionality
  

✅ Over-Functioning vs. Under-Functioning: Are You Doing Too Much? Many couples fall into an imbalance where one partner over-functions (takes on too much responsibility) while the other under-functions (avoids challenges). Dr. Smith shares:

• The telltale signs of these patterns in marriage and parenting

• How they impact intimacy, communication, and emotional connection

• Practical strategies to rebalance your relationship and foster mutual growth
  

Why This Episode Matters By understanding family systems theory, you’ll gain a fresh perspective on why you and your spouse react the way you do—and how to shift your patterns for a healthier, more fulfilling marriage.

Listen now to start breaking free from old dynamics and building stronger, more intentional relationships!

Subscribe to Marriage IQ for more expert-backed insights on relationships, intimacy, and personal growth.

#MarriageIQ #FamilySystemsTheory #RelationshipPatterns #MarriageHelp #EmotionalHealth #SelfGrowth