Helen Fisher was an anthropologist, a professor, an author, and was one of the world's experts on the science of love.

This is the final summer rebroadcast of 2024, episode 47 of "Keep Talking," the most-downloaded audio episode from this show. Helen sadly died on Saturday, August 17, 2024. She was charming, brilliant, and a gem of a human being, and I wanted to honor her by reposting her episode as the final summer rebroadcast of this year.

During our conversation, Helen talks about her background interest in love, the role that love plays in human existence, the evolutionary purpose of love, how the subconscious influences who we fall in love with, how to know if you aren't in love, and wisdom she would provide to improve one's probability for healthy romance and a compatible mate choice.

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(00:00) Intro

(01:05) How Helen got interested in studying love

(05:18) Trailblazing the academic study of love

(06:22) What is love?

(11:01) Love and love decisions are life's most important choices

(12:46) Understanding "love maps" and the unconscious as it relates to love

(22:15) Millennials and "slow love"

(27:56) When are you not in love? When is it time to end a relationship?

(37:58) Identifying great compatibility matches

(41:53) Mitigating the risks of neuroticism from torpedoing a relationship

(48:30) Attachment styles and compatibility

(54:46) Identifying the root cause of depression

(56:46) Ending a relationship when indifference is present

(01:08:00) Designing a lifestyle that makes you a better and authentic partner

(01:11:27) The role of marriage in human life

(01:15:30) Helen getting married in her mid-70's

Richard Reeves is a writer, a Senior Fellow at the Brookings Institution and the author of "Of Boys and Men."

This is a rebroadcast of episode 67 of "Keep Talking," one of the most important conversations from this show. Richard presents data detailing how boys and men are falling behind in education and employment, that men represent three out every four "deaths of despair," and the confusion over what is good about being a man and what it means to be a man as gender roles have significantly changed.

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(00:00) Intro

(01:06) How Richard realized men are falling behind

(04:42) The data re: men falling behind in education

(08:02) The structure of education helps women's natural abilities

(12:26) A response to the indifference of male decline

(17:06) Stories of suffering of modern men

(20:30) Men are "opting out" not "acting out"

(25:42) What would men be doing without porn and video games?

(27:19) Big stats and small stats that reveal the decline of men

(30:56) A sense of agency is crucial for men who are struggling

(37:31) Jim Hollis' work for men

(38:46) Jordan Peterson is a gigantic listening ear for men

(44:06) The Andrew Tate phenomenon

(51:31) Jordan Peterson's rage and empathy

(57:09) Divorce and its effect on men

(01:02:44) What is the evolutionary purpose of men?

(01:06:46) Children need positive relationships with their fathers; married parents less so

(01:15:39) Solutions to increase male flourishing

Kevin Kelly is a photographer, a futurist, an editor, and the author of multiple books, including "Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I'd Known Earlier," the subject of our conversation.

This is a rebroadcast of episode 75 of "Keep Talking," one of my favorite episodes. On his 68th birthday, Kevin wrote "68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice" for his children - an essay that went viral. He wrote two more birthday advice essays for years 69 and 70. Now, after cleaning those nuggets up and adding 150 more, he has written a treasure-trove of wisdom, created and given to the world by one of America's most perceptive thinkers.

This is my favorite kind of book, and Kevin has created a masterpiece that I will consult for the rest of my life. I highly recommend it for anyone looking to become just a little bit wiser, a little bit better, a little bit more thoughtful.

------------

Book a meeting with Dan

------------

Keep Talking Substack

Rate on Spotify

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Social media and all episodes

------------

Support via Venmo

Support on Substack

Support on Patreon

------------

(00:00) Intro

(00:55) Why Kevin began sharing advice

(03:21) "68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice" popularity

(05:27) 10 pieces of advice

(07:42) You are what you do

(12:00) Character is about how you deal with power

(18:55) Look back 25 years from today to decide

(22:20) The three things you need

(36:15) Cultivate 12 people who love you

(40:35) Money is to allow you to do great work

(41:51) A perfect day to Kevin Kelly

(44:15) Success and wealth

(45:46) What's the point of obtaining wisdom?