On Episode Nine, Matt continues being Home Alone 2: Lost in New York and targets the most famous New York M&M vendor. ⁠⁠Heather Edgley⁠⁠ joins us to get us thinking objectively!

Our Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Narcissist Cookbook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bug Hunter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and our brand-new discord is here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --

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Challenge: "From the perspective of an inanimate object"

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BUG'S SONG

Title: Sammy

Lyrics:

I am Sensitive, I know

I get riled up at the smallest things

and start screaming at the top of my lungs

I am working on it

but my job is very stressful

Holy shit is that a frozen pizza?

Time to cry my eyes out,

out of my mind with self-doubt

doubt you could live without me

me? I defend you proudly

cause I'm your last protector

Hi, my name is Sammy, I'm your over-sensitive smoke detector

Any locality may by ordinance require that smoke alarms

be installed in any building containing one or more dwelling units

in accordance with the uniform statewide building code

in other words: you need me

I know you're all frustrated by my beeping

but where there's smoke, there's fire

so where there might be smoke there MIGHT be fire

ok I'll work on it

but you've cooked that egg for 20 seconds!!!

Time to cry my eyes out, out of my mind with self-doubt

doubt you could live without me, me? I defend you proudly

I am your last protector

Hi, my name is Sammy, I'm your over-sensitive smoke detector

They say when God opens a door

he must also open a door on the other side of the room

just one door will not stop me from yelling

That's just how airflow works

that's just a little physics tip for you

inside a song inside a music podcast

but to calm me down... I just need... HER

Celia, Celia, Twirl for me love

no concealing how I'm feeling when I watch from above

Celia, Celia, this never gets old

they've learned to turn you on first before they look at the stove

Celia, Celia... the Ceiling Fan

Celia, Celia... the Ceiling Fan

(They're making bacon and I can't even fake a beep-beep because of you, Celia)

(It may be my low battery that's talking they ain't changing me 'till Autumn, Oh Celia)

(Learn good habits, change those batteries on daylight saving time, for realia)

(and while you're at it change your air filters too, basic home maintenance, celia)

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MATT'S SONG

Title: No Visitors

Lyrics:

no one visits me here but you i wish i could give you a little something in return under the silt, rocks and pillars of breezeblocks i was a queen once just like you in a temple on top of a hill on the rim of the woods and you want ask me something i can tell yeah i used to tell them stories in the vapour choking air and they kept me round because i told them what they want to hear now i call it like i see it so they took my crown away and i don't talk that much anymore these days cause no one visits me here but you no one visits me here but you tell me what do you see in me nobody's looked at me like you look at me for apollo knows how long i thought i needed fable and theatre for you trust me much at all but i guess a temple is wherever you go to find your god and you want to ask me something i can tell you don't need to keep your worries to yourself

On Episode Eight, our heroes get mentally prepared for the long road ahead. Robert Evans from Behind The Bastards gives us a prompt that make us one with the road, and Matt moves to Times Square.

Our Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Narcissist Cookbook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bug Hunter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and our brand-new discord is here⁠⁠⁠⁠

-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --

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Challenge: "Driving so long you become one with the road"

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BUG'S SONG

Title: On The Morning Commute

Lyrics:

On the Morning Commute

Sing along with the tune

I can throw on a podcast, a radio broadcast

all the things I can do on the morning commute

The beginning of the day is easy, I have a list of tasks to do

Get up, brush teeth, make toast, eat toast, make bed, don't eat bed

get dressed (required), comb hair (that one is optional)

plenty of structure...

and likewise my work day is a breeze

between meetings that should have been emails

and emails that protect me from meetings

I am stimulated all day, left and right and from every

corner of my cubicle, a beautiful hectic chaos that

keeps my mind racing and taken up with TODO's

but its that half hour in between...

that damn morning commute

Sing along with the tune

I can throw on a podcast, a radio broadcast

all the things I can do on the morning commute

You know, we don't use what scientists call our "Active" brain when we drive?

It's why we can hold conversations with passengers (or illegally as I found out, on cell phones)

or completely space out and realize 10 minutes and 12 miles down the road

And thats where you find me. Nowhere to run.

Can't even use my hands to defend myself

No amount of NPR or Arianna Grande can drown you out

no crosswords to keep my attention locked down, and you know it

You say "haha! your melatonin might've saved you last night, but you're

legally locked into conciousness now, 30 minutes locked in a Mazda

with nothing to properly stop ya, so you should buckle up bud, I've come here to haunt ya

So I snuck out last night and went to town like the Grinch of Suburbia

Climbing every traffic light and shaking the red and yellow glitter out of each one,

flipping every stop sign around to it's "Go-Side",

a couple well-place cones and now we have TWO northbound freeways and everyone else

going south can just use waze or something

Because I am getting this over with

I painted over all the lane dividers on the way to work

and had enough black paint leftover to paint a tunnel on a cliff as

a shortcut to shave off another seven minutes... funny, isn't it?

It took a drive to make me learn my limits

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MATT'S SONG

Title: White Line

Lyrics:

low fuel light's been on for days

i haven't seen another car

since i passed petrol station

must have a week or more

i punched in your address but

i don't think i remember you

objects in the mirror disappear as they slip out of view

i haven't stopped the car in so long i can't even tell

leave it long enough you turn in to somebody else