I have two very important things to tell you! Seriously!

Before we stumble to the polls on this surreal, demoralizing Election Day of 2024 and then strap in for a long, grating night (or several nights) of cable news speculation, touchscreen charts, and punditry, let's take a couple of hours to remember a couple of musical whitewashes which feel almost as false as the rest of this whole thing feels. INYTLM is back to offer you an invaluable civic resource: two cynical musical theatre analogies that perfectly match the two major presidential candidates on the ballot.

Is anybody theeeeeeeere? Does anybody caaaaaaare?

Remember last week when we had our first guest ever? And her name was Jenna? This is Part II of that. It's in two parts because we talked for over four hours! And when we were done all of the nearby restaurants were closed and we were starving.

This second part is dedicated to our analysis of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. But if you missed last week's Heathers discussion go ahead and check that out. Seriously. It's a hoot.

Jenna emphatically refuses to let me tell you her last name. But check her out on Instagram and TikTok: @foxwithamonocle. You may or may not even see her last name listed on one of those!

So if you've got no other choice, you know you can follow our voice(s) through the sharp noise and takes of this wicked little pod!

INYLM welcomes its FIRST GUEST EVER. Jenna stops by and tells us how much she needs you to like Heathers The Musical! This is the first installment in a FOUR HOUR marathon two-parter. Tune in next time to hear Part 2 in which we talk about how much Chris needs you to like Hedwig and the Angry Inch!

Jenna will not let me tell you her last name, but check her out on Instagram and TikTok: @foxwithamonocle.

Our pod is God, we're what killed the dinosaurs!

Ranting and raving. Sampler platter edition.

00:25 - (Intro)

04:08 - (The Lyrics Police Files)

09:45 - Rent

16:24 - Carousel

23:49 - Jesus Christ Superstar

28:03 - Ragtime

33:25 - My Fair Lady

36:51 - American Idiot

40:05 - She Loves Me

43:47 - The Muppet Christmas Carol

45:26 - Scrooge

49:17 - (miscellaneous)

50:38 - Cats

55:31 - Parade

58:01 - Miss Saigon

1:01:15 - Hair

1:04:17 - Hamilton

1:09:48 - Man of La Mancha

1:13:08 - Little Shop of Horrors

1:19:33 - Oliver!

1:21:19 - Les Miserables

1:23:52 - The Who's Tommy

1:25:04 - Evita

1:31:27 - Jekyll & Hyde

1:37:55 - Pippin

1:47:44 - (Goodbye!)

Here are the timestamps I promised I'd give you, you're welcome.

00:30 - Aimless Solipsistic Preamble

02:45 - Extensive Slander of Michael Eisner, Disney, and Disneyland.

34:17 - The Little Mermaid (1989)

49:31 - Beauty and the Beast (1991)

1:04:24 - Aladdin (1992)

1:29:40 - The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

1:43:38 - The Lion King (1994)

2:06:40 - What Does It All Mean?

If you'd have asked me years ago which of the protagonists of these two movie musicals was sympathetic and which was unredeemably evil, I'd have had a very different answer than the one I have today.

The tragedy of this episode is that in my recent quixotic podcasting efforts, this is more fun than I've had in a while but the movies are obscure enough that I can't imagine people will click on this one. Click on it, click on this one!

Open your phone and seize the pod.