Like a mummy, or a vampire, or a ghost, or any number of monsters that rise from the dead at Halloween — WE’RE BACK!!! It’s Chelsea and Andy’s favorite time of year, and we couldn’t resist getting together for an impromptu surprise episode, specially for those of you who forgot to unsubscribe. Join us as we deep-dive into the cursed nonsense that is The Paul Lynde Halloween Special variety show. We’ve got witches, we’ve got truckers, we’ve got disco, we’ve got special guest appearances from everybody from Betty White to KISS. It’s bananapants and we wish it had never happened, but it did. Join us, please, so you can help us prevent this haunting event from ever happening again.

Show: THE PAUL LYNDE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL (ABC)

Air Date: October 29, 1976

Special Guest Stars: Margaret Hamilton, Billie Hayes, Billy Barty, Tim Conway, Roz “Pinky Tuscaderoh” Kelly, Betty White, Florence Henderson, KISS, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond

Find it: on Amazon Prime Video ($3.99 to rent)

Snacks:

• Brach's Harvest Corn
• Hershey's Vampire Kisses
• Anela Cookies
• Aloinka Cookies
• Skillet S'mores (recipe)

Further Reading:

We’ve come to the end of the rainbow, friends and colleagues. It’s been a fantastic 101-episode-long ride, and we’re so happy that you came along. Before we ride off into the sunset (jk, it’s a pandemic, we never leave our apartments), we’d like to wrassle one last VSE with you — part two of the accurséd BICYCLE MAN. It’s got all the icky feelings and inappropriate jokes of part one, with 200% more police detectives. Come along.

Show: DIFF’RENT STROKES \\ “The Bicycle Man,” Season 5, Episode 16

Air Date: February 5, 1983

Find it: Hulu or Amazon Prime Video with the Starz add-on

Snack: Maple Walnut Shortbread from Archer Farms

Further Reading:

• A “very special” Diff’rent Strokes that’s terrifying for all the wrong reasons | The AV Club
• Child Sexual Abuse: 6 Stages of Grooming | Oprah.com
• Preventing Sexual Abuse At Summer Camp: Five Tips for Parents

The time has finally come. In this most cursed year of this darkest timeline, we must re-watch and re-evaluate one of the most cursed VSEs of all time. The one that started it all — which is apt, because after 100 episodes, we have nearly come to the end of the Hugging & Learning rainbow. Join Chelsea, Andrew, and Miles for the penultimate episode of our podcast, as we evaluate what, if anything, we have to learn from this bone-chilling tv artifact today.

Show: DIFF’RENT STROKES \\ “The Bicycle Man,” Season 5, Episode 16

Air Date: February 5, 1983

Find it: Hulu or Amazon Prime Video with the Starz add-on

Snack: Camel Balls gum (Thanks, Josh!)

Further Reading:

• A “very special” Diff’rent Strokes that’s terrifying for all the wrong reasons | The AV Club
• Child Sexual Abuse: 6 Stages of Grooming | Oprah.com
• Preventing Sexual Abuse At Summer Camp: Five Tips for Parents

“Welcome to Hamilton High, where all the students major in drugs!” H&L is back with a real classic of the “Just Say No” genre. We’ve got an earnest protagonist, we’ve got grade-A freakouts, we’ve got future Oscar winners judo-kicking out of second-story windows. Will CARING SO MUCH triumph over indifference, drugs, and swimming? Or will yet another suburban teen succumb to his poorly-defined life pressures and terrible taste in friends? Join us to find out!

Show: DESPERATE LIVES \\ CBS TV Movie

Air Date: March 3, 1982

Special Guest Stars:

• Future Oscar Winner Helen Hunt
• Dr. Joyce Brothers
• Rick Springfield

Find it: parts of it are on YouTube

Snack:

• Brach’s Candy Corn Pumpkins
• Trader Joe’s PB&J Snack Duo

Further Reading:

• Effects and Dangers of PCP Use
• DESPERATE LIVES: Say No To Drugs, Say Yes to Overblown Message Movies | Schlockmania

“Welcome to Hamilton High, where all the students major in drugs!” H&L is back with a real classic of the “Just Say No” genre. We’ve got an earnest protagonist, we’ve got grade-A freakouts, we’ve got future Oscar winners judo-kicking out of second-story windows. Will CARING SO MUCH triumph over indifference, drugs, and swimming? Or will yet another suburban teen succumb to his poorly-defined life pressures and terrible taste in friends? Join us to find out!

Show: DESPERATE LIVES \\ CBS TV Movie

Air Date: March 3, 1982

Special Guest Stars:

• Future Oscar Winner Helen Hunt
• Dr. Joyce Brothers
• Rick Springfield

Find it: parts of it are on YouTube

Snack:

• Brach’s Candy Corn Pumpkins
• Trader Joe’s PB&J Snack Duo

Further Reading:

• Effects and Dangers of PCP Use
• DESPERATE LIVES: Say No To Drugs, Say Yes to Overblown Message Movies | Schlockmania

Won’t someone please hug Terry? The boy moves like a ghost through his own life; in the words of his own sister, “he’s just kinda there.” When Terry goes punk, it’s not so much a rebellion as an inevitability. But, wait! What does this mean for Mom’s big anti-punker conference?! Is this actually an afterschool special FOR MOMS?? Join Chelsea, Andrew, long-suffering Terry, some of The Weirz, and the psychiatrist from Space Jam as we try to decipher what, if anything, we can learn from an afterschool special about the waning days of punk.

Show: ABC Afterschool Specials \\ “The Day My Kid Went Punk,” Season 16, Episode 3

Air Date: October 23, 1987

Find it: on YouTube

Snack: Whittaker’s Chocolate Bar (Thanks, Josh!)

Further Reading:

• “Afterschool Specials” | You’re Wrong About Podcast
• ABC Afterschool Special | Wikipedia

What’s the only thing more fun that a lighthearted came of Clue with friends? Only a high-stakes reality TV version of the game that strangers take way too seriously! Come with us on a journey back to 2013, when ABC turned a half-built mansion into CSI: Beverly Hills, at almost unfathomable cost and with mediocre results. The game… is murder! But somehow, as always, it all comes back to Melora Hardin.

Show: WHODUNNIT? \\ “High Voltage,” Season 1, Episode 1

Air Date: June 23, 2013

Find it: on ABC.com

Snack: Jampler! (jam sampler) from Trade Street Jam Co.

Further Reading:

• Whodunnit? | Wikipedia
• Rue Manor | Reddit
• Viewers feared contestants actually died on ABC’s ‘Whodunnit?’
• 8 Surprising Facts About ABC’s “Whodunnit”
• Whodunnit: all your questions answered | Reality Blurred

It’s a little wild and a little strange that this is our first HEY DUDE episode. And it’s a doozy of a debut — this is the LOST episode of the beloved Nickelodeon show. “Lost,” you say? Imagine if Sam Shepard wrote most of an episode of this light teen comedy, and you’ll soon figure out why. Join us for a deep dive into the fraught interpersonal relationships of the adult children of alcoholics, and also stinky feet jokes.

Show: HEY DUDE \\ “Melody’s Brother” Season 3, Episode 11

Air Date: June 15, 1990

Find it: Good luck finding this episode! The rest of the series is on Amazon Prime Video.

Snack: Zach and Zoe Sweet Bee Farm Wildflower Honey with Ginger Root

Further Reading:

• Melody’s Brother | Hey Dude Reviewed
• Hey Dude: Melody’s Brother (My White Whale) | The Very Special Blog