I'm very excited about today's episode today! We get to address a lot of juicy topics, such as the following:

• a reluctant wife feeling pressure to give her husband a hand job
• a couple that wants to try pegging, but is unsure about it
• a frustrated wife that feels like all the effort she's making to improve her marriage is one sided and feels a lot of pain because of that
• a husband shares that the pain of being in a low intimacy marriage, where either fight about sex or have none at all, and he's tired of it
• a couple asks about using penis rings
• a frustrated wife, whose husband is only interested in sex if he's the one initiating (which is unfortunately really infrequent)
• a discouraged wife that must resort to using a vibrator in order to orgasm when penetrative manual oral stimulation is preferred

These are real questions on the hearts of many of you listeners, and I am humbled that you would trust me with your most perplexing questions relating to sexual intimacy in your marriage. I'm on a mission to help you have the very best sexual and intimate marriage possible. And I hope that the discussion today spurs deeper conversations within you and your marriage.

If you have a question you'd like to submit anonymously for me to address in a future podcast episode, fill out the form here, and that comes straight to me.

Resources mentioned in today's episode:

Episode 194: “Is this ok for us to do?” Seeking God’s Direction In Your Sex Life

Episode 87: Healing From Pornography with Zach & Darcy Spafford

Get Your Marriage On Program

Intimately Us App

FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less

Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13

Retreat testimonial videos

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

In many marriages, there are people that feel like they do far more than their share of the relationship work, but why do they tend to take on the responsibility of their spouse's share of the relationship, especially in stressful situations?

Intimate marriages are like a system like an air conditioning and heating system in your home. It works hard to keep things at an even temperature or homeostasis. When the temperature gets too high, the air conditioning kicks on to cool things down, and when the temperature gets too low, the heater kicks on to heat things up. So it's a system, a way of keeping things normal and functioning in a environment where people can live.

When there's stress and anxiety in the relationship, one person may tend to be com overly responsible for the relationship to calm the other person down, to bring the relationship back into homeostasis. This is called the over-functioning / under-functioning dynamic. And it shows up in sex too.

If you've ever said to yourself, "If I wasn't the person to always initiate sex here, nothing would ever happen," this could be a sign that you're an over-functioner in your sexual relationship.

My guest on this episode, Dr. Kathleen Smith, is a world renowned expert on systems theory and relationships. And this is her second time on my podcast (her first appearance was episode #45). She's the author of a new book, True to You, in which she discusses the overfunctioning under-functioning dynamic in relationships and how to fix it, and that is also the topic of our discussion today.

If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources:

Intimately Us App

How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less

Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

"I just have a hard time with some of the things you said on your podcast. How can you be okay with things like toys, lingerie, and even talk about sex so publicly like that. I grew up with the understanding that those things aren't appropriate to discuss."

I can absolutely relate. This conversation with this sincere woman took me back several years ago when I was struggling with the exact same concerns. And I've been pondering her concern and reflecting on my own weeks, a month of struggles working through them.

I haven't shared my podcast here in depth about the wrestle that I went through that was so profound. It's become my calling in life to help couples like you enjoy a passionate and intimate sexual relationship in your marriage. If you would have told me back then that I'd be talking about sex in nearly 200 podcast episodes with over 1.2 million downloads, along with retreats, coaching and apps, I would've thought you were completely bonkers.

But then again, It, might've not been that crazy after all . . .

Tune in for discussions about the things I've learned along they way that can help you in your marriage, especially how one can know and decide what is right to do in the bedroom and in your marriage and not, as well as working through conflicts and creating a thriving marriage.

If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources:

Intimately Us App

How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less

Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13

Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com