Don't Tell Our Wives: Warm Beer, Cheap Comedy, and News

By: Don't Tell Our Wives - Warm Beer & Cheap Comedy
  • Summary

  • What happens when you put comedians in front of microphones around a pool table? While we do end up playing with the balls and cue sticks, we search the deepest parts of every place (mainly the Internet, and ourselves) for funny news stories, pop culture, relationship problems (who doesn't have those), the strangest/weirdest questions people ask on the Internet. Mix middle school humor with current events and you pretty much have us. Just don't tell our wives what we talk about down here.
    © 2023 Don't Tell Our Wives: Warm Beer, Cheap Comedy, and News
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Episodes
  • Boner Roulette,Threesome Pregnancy,Mike Tyson Flight Punch,Woman Wheel Barrel Sex Toy,Creepy TikTok Cat,Reddit Questions - Ep. 93 - Funny News Comedy
    May 17 2022

    In this episode, we go into the story of a man who messed with 'the champ' Mike Tyson. After harassing Mike Tyson several times, the heavyweight champion (and Nintendo punchout master), hit the man several times. If you're taking a discount flight, maybe you shouldn't do that...or throw a water bottle at a heavyweight champion. Consider Holyfielding as an alternative action.

    The Honch wanted to take you on an adventure in the news world. A woman pulled 'her' penis out proceeded to use a wheel barrel (wheely bin) as a sex toy. The sex offender, lifted her skirt and exposed herself multiple times in public. Ultimately she got a 'custodial' sentence for using a trash bin to please herself.

    As men in our 30's, there was an ongoing conversation about Cialus (known as boner pills in our group). A slight game of boner roulette is laying a bunch of pills out, and each person takes on until someone gets the erection pill.

    There is a creepy cat on TikTok that has 700,000+ followers, with really big, creepy eyes. The cat was given the title of Mayor of the city of Hell, Michigan. For the low low price of $100, the cat was made mayor of the town.

    In this installment of 'questions from Reddit', are you turned on by women more intelligent than you? The consensus from the group is yes. The Honch is looking for a sugar momma with a better job than him.

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    24 mins
  • Florida Man Incest Arrest,OnlyFans Theft at Dairy Queen,Tom Segura Callout,Tooth in Nose,Florida Man 911 Meth Call - Ep. 92 - Funny News Comedy
    May 10 2022

    In this episode, Honch avoids doing the intro for the show, but can't stand how the D does it. Also, quick note, apparently both the Bubba and Red are able to do Kermit the Frog impressions.

    The Red drops it heavy out of the gate, with a trifecta of Florida man. The man Florida man is facing 8 felony charges. It all started when the man was kissing his stepsister, tackled his parents, and ultimately tried to get into a fight with the police. You guess in what order those things happened. Here's a clue: incest.

    There is a very popular fast-food restaurant (Dairy Queen), where a lady gets ice cream from the 'Grill n Chill'. The lady handed the employee her credit/debit card, and the man took that card number and started racking up multiple OnlyFans accounts. Honch gives the 'tip of the week', where he shows you how to get away with it. Thanks, Honch, for your contribution to society.

    There is a man in New York goes to the hospital after having issues. After taking several nasal drugs, doctors removed a tooth from the man's nose. How much money do you get for a nose tooth? It was .6 inches long (because of the root). No cavities were reported.

    In another instance of Florida man gold, a man called 911 to have the police test his meth to see if he got messed up. Not to be confused with bath salts.

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    25 mins
  • Ireland Crane Pooper,Unlimited Food Disaster Theme Park,Missing Porn Pickle,Craigslist Horse Freak - Ep. 91 - Funny News Comedy
    May 3 2022

    In this episode, Honch makes visit the memories of D's vacation in a different way; have you ever been to Ireland? The D recently went there on vacation and loved it for a multitude of reasons. However, the Honch found the one really bad thing that happened while the D was visiting. Currently in Dublin, there is a ton of construction going on. There are several very tall cranes that dot the area. There was a construction worker who got in a heaping pile of trouble, when he was dropping large amounts of #2 from the crane...to the top of a building not far from the crane. Don't confuse any part of this story with the meteorite from the David Spade's movie classic "Joe Dirt".

    Did you know there was a time where you could buy an unlimited eating pass at Six Flags for $150 bucks? A man spent YEARS going to Six Flags to use his entry to the park, and took advantage of the pass, eating everything that he could in sight. Do you think he over indulged and then challenged himself to keep it down during the rides at the park. After the organization noticed he was grossly taking advantage of this benefit, the company revoked the past. And cancelled the guys free meals. Fair?

    THIS JUST IN: Don't google pegging. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. The Honch implied that this should be an activity for the D. DON'T DO IT.

    Do you like pickles? So does the city of Portland, OR which has a team of pickles. The mascot of 'the pickle' has been stolen from the team, and they are in a desperate search for him. It's a really big 'dill', we mean, deal. While it is a discussion of the baseball team of Portland, the conversation from Honch turned really weird, as he has seen some really weird 'sex stuff' in Oregon.

    In other news, a women in Arizona was surfing Craigslist to find a date, but not your average date. The woman was looking for a horse to have sex with. Disgusting? We thought so too. She has had multiple. Her username may or may not be Mr. Head (not to be confused with Mr. Ed). The police went undercover and busted the woman in a sting, and was obviously unable to get with a horse.

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    24 mins

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