As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play an essential role in your teen’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-teen relationship; including them in daily chores provides an excellent opportunity.

Chores allow your teen to play a role in contributing to the maintenance and care of your family’s household. Teens and emerging young adults ages 15-19 are learning and establishing lifestyle habits that will extend throughout their lifetime, whether making their beds in the morning, doing their dirty dishes, or cleaning up their games and supplies. Teens who do chores learn that part of being in a family contributes to the work and responsibilities of family life. When they pitch in, it creates a sense of autonomy, belonging, and competence.

Research has found that the best predictor of success in young adulthood can be directly traced back to whether a child began doing chores at an early age, as young as three or four.^1 But it’s never too late to begin! Another study linked children doing chores to positive mental health in their early adulthood.^2 The skills and habits your teen develops in caring for your family home will serve them well as they make their own independent home in the not-too-distant future. And, for today, doing chores teaches a work ethic essential in helping teens persist toward any type of goal.

Yet, there are challenges. Teen’s schedules are busy. After school, your teen may have soccer practice, several hours of homework, and a desire to socialize with friends. “Why do I have to bring in the garbage cans? My friends don’t,” you may hear from your fifteen-year-old. Whether cleaning up their room or setting the table for dinner, your teen may express resistance when they have other goals in mind, like, “How can I socialize or game longer?”

The key to many parenting challenges, like chores, is finding ways to communicate to meet your and your teen’s needs. Daily chores are also a way for your teen to learn valuable skills like timeliness and responsibility. The steps below include specific, practical strategies and effective conversation starters to prepare you.

Whether asking your fifteen-year-old to make their bed and turn off their lights each day or reminding your eighteen-year-old to rinse their dishes and put them in the dishwasher after dinner, these can become your daily challenges if you don’t create regular routines with input from your teen.

Today, in the short term, chores can create

● greater cooperation and motivation as you go about your daily tasks

● greater opportunities for connection and enjoyment as you each implement your respective roles and feel set up for success

● trust that your teen has the competence to complete responsibilities with practice and care, and

● added daily peace of mind.

Tomorrow, in the long term, your teen

● builds skills in collaboration and cooperative goal-setting

● builds skills in responsible decision-making, hard work, and persistence; and

● gains independence, life skills competence, and self-sufficiency

This five-step process helps you and your teen establish routines and builds important skills in your teen. The same process can also be used to address other parenting issues (learn more about the process)[1] .

Tip: These steps are done best when you and your teen are not tired or in a rush.

Tip: Intentional...