• At one point, I decided I was going to try everything possible to feel better

  • Jul 4 2024
  • Length: 4 mins
  • Podcast

At one point, I decided I was going to try everything possible to feel better

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  • Summary

  • “I never quite fit in during training. One night, after some heavy drinking, I returned just three minutes past curfew. My senior drill sergeant informed me that he was going to punish me because some medics had noticed my tardiness. I couldn't help myself and asked him, ‘Do you decide what kind of leader you are based on who's watching?’ He didn’t appreciate that. He yelled at me, made me do endless push-ups, and in my drunken state, I called him every name under the sun. Consequently, he reported me to the company commander, who then reported me to the battalion commander. This led to a formal hearing where I had to listen to a barrage of criticisms about myself. When asked if I had anything to say, I couldn’t stay silent. I had typed out a speech criticizing my senior drill sergeant for not embodying Army values and read it aloud. The room seethed with anger. A command sergeant major, resembling a short Clint Eastwood, yelled in my face. After his tirade, he tore the insignia from my uniform, escorted me out, and with a mix of disdain and begrudging respect, said, ‘You've got some balls.’”
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