• Anita Bhagwandas: Finding a Social Balance When You Live Alone

  • Dec 12 2023
  • Length: 50 mins
  • Podcast

Anita Bhagwandas: Finding a Social Balance When You Live Alone

  • Summary

  • My guest this week is Anita Bhagwandas, an award winning beauty director, and more recently the author of Ugly: Giving Us Back Our Beauty Standards, a book that examines the damaging impact of narrow beauty ideals and serves as a brilliant manifesto towards a more inclusive attitude. The book explores the importance of practising self care on your own terms, not what the beauty industry tells you - something Anita knows a lot about after 15 years in the industry. Anita also lives alone in London, like me, and we discuss the creative joys of cooking for one, getting to plan a week that perfectly balances quiet night doing laundry with going out to gigs with friends - something Anita loves – plus an honest discussion of why getting flaked on can affect you much harder when you’re single or live alone.


    Thank you to our season sponsor Sensate, a palm-sized infrasonic stress and anti-anxiety device. Visit getsensate.com/alonement for 10% off your first device.


    Takeaways

    • Alone time preferences can vary from person to person, and it is important to find a balance that works for you.
    • Self-care is not about buying things or following trends; it is about understanding what truly nourishes and rejuvenates you.
    • The commodification of self-care has led to a misconception that it requires expensive products or activities, when in reality, it can be as simple as taking a few minutes for yourself.
    • It is important to advocate for yourself and communicate your needs to others, especially when it comes to making plans and canceling.
    • Cooking for oneself can be an act of self-care, and it is important to challenge the notion that it is not worth it to cook for one person.
    • Don't just follow beauty trends or societal expectations, choose makeup and beauty routines that bring you joy and creativity.
    • Alone time can be an escape from beauty standards and an opportunity to embrace your natural self.
    • Choose what beauty work brings you joy and let go of the tasks that feel tedious or unnecessary.
    • Journaling and checking in with yourself can be a valuable practice for self-reflection and self-care.

    Chapters

    00:00

    Introduction and Speed Friending

    02:14

    Being Good at Time Alone

    03:10

    Introverts and Only Children

    05:39

    Alone Time During the Pandemic

    08:05

    Journalist Mode in Social Situations

    11:12

    Solo Hobbies

    15:31

    Changing Relationship with Alone Time

    18:04

    The Myth of Self-Care

    27:57

    Counteracting Myths Around Self-Care

    32:30

    Navigating External Reinforcement of Self-Care

    35:08

    Overcoming Only-Me-ism in Cooking

    36:45

    The Joy of Cooking and Makeup

    38:20

    The Danger of Makeup as a Tool to Hide

    39:17

    Rediscovering the Joy and Creativity of Makeup

    40:30

    The Solo Process of Makeup and Self-Criticism

    41:35

    Cooking for Yourself vs. Cooking for Others

    43:58

    Escaping Beauty Standards in Alone Time

    44:49

    Choosing What Beauty Work to Enjoy

    47:25

    Picking and Choosing What Makes You Feel Good

    48:21

    Alonement: Journalling and Checking In with Yourself

    49:36

    The Joy of Writing in a Nice Notebook


    You can follow Anita Bhagwandas' Substack at anitabhagwandas.substack.com, and mine at francescaspecter.substack.com

    With a one-off payment of £5, you can listen to the Alonement podcast ad-free. https://plus.acast.com/s/alonement.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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