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Join Monique for an enlightening conversation with Tamyra Gordon as she shares her journey of intentional living, homeschooling and legacy building.

Tamyra, also known as Tammy, is a public historian whose work serves as a powerful reclamation of Black history, identity, and legacy. With over 18 years of experience in education, historic preservation, workforce development, and public programming, she is more than just an executive; she is a steward of ancestral stories.

Tune in as we explore Tamyra's path and learn how she continues to build and nurture her legacy with courage and heart. Her wisdom and experiences offer valuable guidance for anyone looking to live a life of purpose and impact.

GUEST INFO
Tamyra Gordon, former and founding Executive Director of Blavity.org and the current Founder of Your Legacy Tours | Website | Instagram (Tamyra) | Instagram (Legacy Tours) | Instagram (Greenwood Seneca) | LinkedIn

MENTIONED
Association of African American Museums

GEMS DROPPED
“There's ​something ​really ​special ​and ​important ​about ​recognizing ​that building ​a ​relationship ​with ​our ​little ​selves and our ​former ​selves.The ​different ​essence ​is ​the ​part ​that ​we ​get ​to ​reconnect ​with,celebrate ​and ​honor, ​but ​also ​giving ​room ​for ​the fact that our little ​nine ​year ​old ​selves will ​never ​exist ​exactly ​in ​the ​same ​format ​that ​she ​did ​back ​then. So ​even ​as ​we ​reimagine ​our ​younger ​selves ​now ​and ​engage ​with ​that ​essence ​and energy ​and ​help ​leverage ​it ​as ​best ​we ​can ​that she ​gets ​to ​grow ​and ​evolve ​and ​morph ​as ​we're ​growing, ​evolving, ​and ​morphing. ​It's ​not ​like ​this ​static ​thing. ​​I ​think ​that ​that's ​really ​important ​because ​that ​speaks ​to ​the ​beauty ​and ​the ​messiness ​of ​it ​all.” - Monique R. Shields

“Legacy is ​less ​about ​generational ​wealth ​and ​what's ​the ​hand ​down, ​and ​what ​are ​the ​things ​that ​we ​sort ​of ​get ​as ​part ​of ​being ​tied ​to ​someone ​else's ​legacy. ​Really, ​it's ​just ​like, ​are ​we ​leaving ​this ​place ​any ​better ​than ​we ​found ​it and ​​can ​the ​people ​who ​are ​left ​to ​tell ​our ​story ​actually ​articulate ​that? ​Did ​we ​live ​a ​life ​that ​our ​values, ​that ​our ​beliefs, ​that ​our ​actions are ​aligned ​to ​all ​those ​things ​that ​we ​said ​that ​we ​cared ​about? ​Did ​people ​feel ​better ​after ​being ​in ​my ​presence ​and ​being ​around ​me ​than they ​did ​not being ​around? ​​Did ​I ​honor ​people ​who ​would ​otherwise ​be ​forgotten and not let to work ​and ​other ​things ​sort ​of ​distract ​from ​those ​moments ​where ​you ​can ​pull ​in ​people ​into ​the ​fabric ​of ​how ​we ​live ​today. ​​In ​my ​mind, ​that's ​the ​legacy. That's ​how ​​​I'm ​thinking ​about ​it ​today. ​I'm ​also ​open ​to ​the ​idea ​of ​what ​that ​looks ​like ​continuing ​to ​mature ​and ​evolve ​with ​me ​and ​how ​I ​sort ​of ​see ​​the ​babies ​keeping ​and ​thinking ​about ​legacy, ​because ​that ​will ​also ​matter. But ​for ​right ​now, ​it's ​keeping ​things ​alive ​that ​I ​think ​matter ​at ​the ​end.” - Tamyra Gordon

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This episode is a delightful reflection on Monique's recent family trip to Australia and the valuable lessons she learned about balancing ambition with rest.

Monique takes us through her journey of stepping away from her solopreneur business to embrace a much-needed break, all while maintaining the essence of her work and personal life. She shares insights on how to create space in your life for rest and recovery, even when you're running a business that thrives on personal connections.

Monique also dives into the practices that have enabled her to take extended breaks without compromising her business. She discusses the importance of viewing rest as an asset, studying your own rhythms, setting a vision and plan, and getting the right support. For anyone contemplating a sabbatical, a big trip, or simply more spaciousness in their daily life, this episode is packed with actionable advice and inspiration.

Press play now to discover how to integrate rest into your entrepreneurial journey and emerge with renewed energy and clarity.

MENTIONED
42 | Committing To Success That Heals You With Marla Teyolia

GEMS DROPPED
“You ​have ​to ​decide ​that ​rest ​is ​an ​asset ​and ​not ​a ​liability.”

“We ​have ​to ​acknowledge ​that ​something ​is ​not ​congruent ​and ​that ​we ​actually ​have ​to ​step ​into ​a ​true ​valuing ​of ​rest, ​of ​space, ​not ​with ​the ​deep ​undercurrent ​of ​guilt ​that ​comes ​along ​with ​not ​constantly ​being ​productive. ​We ​have ​to ​see ​the ​relationship, ​like, ​truly ​feel ​the ​relationship ​between ​rest ​and ​productivity ​as ​one ​that ​is ​harmonious.”

“Conceptually, ​it's ​easy ​to ​understand ​that ​rest ​is ​good ​for ​you, but ​my ​behaviors ​over ​time ​are ​not ​necessarily ​lining ​up ​with ​that ​understanding. ​So ​I ​want ​to ​shift ​us ​from ​understanding ​to ​belief.”

“We ​are ​wrapped ​up ​in ​so ​many ​systems ​that ​tell ​us ​that ​if ​we ​ever ​stop ​moving, ​that ​we ​will ​be ​overtaken ​and ​destitute ​and ​just ​out ​of ​the ​game, ​​that ​we ​will ​be ​fighting ​for ​our ​lives ​to ​feed ​ourselves ​and ​to ​be ​relevant. ​No ​matter ​how ​much ​money ​you ​have ​that ​track ​can ​be ​running ​in ​the ​background ​still pushing ​you ​to ​do ​more ​than ​what ​you ​need ​to ​be ​doing. ​And ​so ​I ​don't ​mean ​to in ​any ​way ​make ​light ​of ​this, ​but ​we ​have ​to ​kind ​of ​get ​real ​with ​how ridiculous ​it ​actually ​is ​and ​that ​it ​is ​not ​a ​narrative ​of ​our ​making. ​It ​is ​a ​narrative ​driven ​purely ​out ​of capitalism.”

“I'd ​given ​myself ​over ​to ​this ​season ​of ​rest, ​and ​it ​gave ​me ​the ​proof ​after ​going ​through ​that, ​that ​abundance ​can ​be ​possible ​for ​you ​when ​you ​treat ​yourself ​abundantly.When ​you ​treat ​yourself ​with ​scarcity, you ​cannot ​be ​surprised ​when ​your ​results ​are ​scarce.“

“We ​cannot ​always ​be ​sowing ​seeds. ​Sometimes ​we ​need ​time ​for ​the ​stuff ​to ​grow. ​Sometimes ​we ​need ​time ​for ​the ​stuff ​to ​wilt ​and ​die so ​that ​it ​has ​the ​energy ​to regrow in ​a ​new ​season. ​You ​cannot ​always ​be ​on, ​you ​cannot ​always ​be ​doing, ​you ​cannot ​always ​be ​giving ​because ​​you're ​going ​to ​reap ​really ​weak crops ​or ​it'll ​be ​the ​wrong ​crop.”

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Are you navigating a season of change? This episode is here to provide inspiration and guidance.

Join in as Monique revisits a transformative period in her life, reflecting on a throwback episode from her earlier audio newsletter series, "Letters from Monique." She shares insights from her journey of allowing herself to be changed, especially during significant life transitions like the birth of her second child and the early seeds of this very podcast. She also emphasizes the importance of allowing oneself to be changed, the power of community, and the necessity of support and presence.

Monique dives deep into the messy and beautiful process of change, offering a raw and honest account of her experiences. Whether you're in a season of transition or just seeking inspiration to embrace change, this episode is dropping gems.

So, grab your tea, journal, and a cozy spot as Monique takes you on a journey through personal evolution, resilience, and the beauty of embracing change. Enjoy, and may this episode meet you exactly where you need to be met.

GEMS DROPPED

“You ​can't ​want ​change ​without ​permitting ​yourself ​to ​be ​changed.”

“Our ​thoughts ​are ​anchored ​upon ​ ​the ​changes ​that ​we ​get ​to ​experience ​externally, but ​what ​has ​to ​happen ​internally ​we undersell, ​we ​undershoot, ​and ​oftentimes, we ​don't ​fully ​anticipate ​because ​it's ​something ​that's ​new. So ​you're ​not really ​able ​to ​preemptively anticipate ​what ​those ​internal ​changers ​are. So ​to ​be ​changed ​is ​something ​that is ​easy ​to ​struggle ​with.”

“We ​want ​the ​external ​product ​of ​change, we ​want ​the ​external ​experiences ​of ​change, but ​it's ​not ​all ​upside ​to ​get ​there. ​​It ​can't ​be. There ​has ​to ​be ​some pain. ​And ​I'm ​not ​gonna ​say, ​full ​on ​suffering, ​necessarily, but ​pain, ​loss, ​absolutely. ​And ​this ​comes ​with ​any ​kind ​of ​change.”

“When ​we ​ask ​for ​change ​be ​ready ​for ​everything ​that ​comes ​with ​that, ​but ​also ​recognize ​the ​beauty ​in ​it.”

“Permitting ​ourselves ​to ​be ​changed ​is ​to ​​permit ​ourselves ​to ​have ​permission ​to ​change, ​to ​have ​permission ​to ​create ​in ​the ​midst ​of ​change, ​to ​have ​permission ​to ​re​envision, ​to ​pivot, ​to ​shift, ​to ​reimagine, ​to ​want ​differently. And ​it ​requires ​support. ​I ​think ​for ​most ​of ​us, ​particularly ​so ​for ​women, ​we ​are ​so ​practiced ​at ​not permitting ​ourselves to ​want, ​to ​create,​to ​build ​freely, ​ ​unapologetically, ​and ​inviting ​in ​the ​support ​to ​do ​that. ​And ​not ​even ​the ​support ​to ​do ​that, ​but ​also ​just ​making ​sure ​that we are ​part ​of ​​communities ​where ​that ​was ​heralded ​and ​encouraged ​and ​modeled. It ​means ​everything.”

“It ​is ​very ​easy ​to ​scale ​back ​on ​our ​self ​investments ​when ​we ​think ​we ​can't ​produce ​as ​much, ​or ​we ​think ​that, ​like, ​oh, ​I'm ​stepping ​into ​a ​season ​of ​less. ​So ​then ​we ​start ​giving ​ourselves ​less. ​Girl, ​you're ​doing ​the ​opposite ​of ​what ​needs ​to ​happen. This ​is ​a ​season ​where ​we ​give ​ourselves ​more,much, ​much ​more.”

“If ​you ​want ​change, ​you ​have ​to ​permit ​myself ​to ​be ​changed. ​So ​ask yourself, what ​needs ​to ​be ​true ​in ​this ​next ​season ​in ​order ​for ​you ​to ​get ​prepared ​for ​that ​season​? There's ​a ​new ​version ​of ​you ​that ​is ​waiting.”​

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In this episode, Monique takes us on a journey through her relationship with social media. She dives into an ongoing experiment that is reshaping her life, work, and well-being. Instead of waiting until the end of this process, Monique brings you into the messy middle, sharing her live experiences, feelings, and the steps she’s taking to reclaim her time and attention.

Join Monique as she unpacks the psychological and emotional layers of her social media detox, offering valuable insights that might just inspire you to rethink your own digital habits. Grab your tea, take some notes, and let’s dive in together.

GEMS DROPPED
“I ​too, ​grapple ​with ​my ​relationship ​to ​technology, ​specifically ​that ​of ​social ​media. ​And ​I'm ​in ​the ​middle ​of ​an ​experiment ​that ​impacts ​my ​life, ​my ​work, ​my ​wellbeing,and ​my ​relationships ​regarding ​social ​media.”

“We ​are ​going ​to ​reclaim ​our ​time. ​We ​are ​going ​to ​reclaim ​our ​attention. That ​is ​of ​high, ​high ​value ​to ​me, ​especially ​in ​this ​transitional ​season ​where ​I ​am ​really ​focusing ​down ​and ​redirecting ​my ​path ​with ​some ​new ​intention. ​And ​this (social media) ​cannot ​be ​a ​thing ​that ​stands ​in ​the ​way.“​

“I ​was ​actually ​really ​surprised ​by ​the ​release ​​that ​I ​felt (with unfollowing every account on IG). ​It ​felt ​like ​a ​real ​releasing, ​a ​relinquishing ​of ​something… ​something ​relieving ​and ​easeful.”

“Baby, ​I ​got ​goals and ​[social media] cannot ​be ​a ​thing ​that ​stands ​in ​the ​way. ​This ​cannot ​be ​a ​thing ​that ​feels ​like ​it's ​clogging ​up ​my ​brain. A ​top ​line ​​goal ​for ​all ​of ​this ​was ​to ​build ​the belief ​that ​I ​could ​feel ​in ​control ​of ​technology ​that ​I ​claim ​to ​use ​for ​my ​business ​and ​engage ​in ​for ​entertainment ​and ​connection. ​But ​its ​primary ​use is ​to ​be ​a ​tool ​to ​amplify ​the ​messaging ​of ​my ​business, ​to ​make ​sure ​I'm ​reaching ​people ​with ​my ​message.“

“Social ​media ​can ​serve ​as ​this ​passive ​proxy ​for ​connection ​that ​does ​not ​exist and ​it ​keeps ​you ​in ​a ​state ​of ​inaction ​of ​actually ​creating the ​thing ​you ​want, ​which ​is ​real ​connection.”

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Welcome back, good people! This episode is a special treat as we welcome the inspiring Marla Teyolia, a seasoned transformational coach with over two decades of experience. Marla’s expertise lies in executive presence development, enhancing communication skills, career growth, and team expansion, all while preserving core values and personal authenticity. Her holistic approach integrates mindfulness, meditation, and yoga practices, making her coaching a transformative experience.

In this episode, we dive deep into Marla’s journey, from her early work in the field of domestic violence to her current role in empowering leaders. We explore how she balances her deeply spiritual practices with her work in high-powered corporate spaces, and how she navigates the dance between personal freedom and family commitments.

Marla shares profound insights on the importance of reconnecting with our humanity, the power of breathwork, and the necessity of decolonizing our vision of success. This conversation is a powerful reminder that our true power lies within, and that by tending to our spirit, we can navigate any space with grace and strength.

Join us for this enlightening conversation and discover how you can embrace your inner power and live a life aligned with your deepest values.

GEMS DROPPED
“Nothing ​about ​the ​fuckery ​that ​I ​was ​experiencing ​shifted, ​but ​I ​had ​shifted. ​And ​that's ​when ​I ​realized, ​oh, ​my ​liberation ​is ​an ​inside ​job, ​first ​and ​foremost. And ​then ​when ​I ​feel ​strong ​and ​powerful ​and ​I ​feel ​free, ​then ​I ​can ​actually ​do ​the ​work ​I'm ​here ​to ​do ​in ​a ​way ​that's ​fully ​aligned ​and ​isn't ​coming ​from ​a ​place ​of ​lack ​or ​trauma, ​but ​it's ​coming ​from ​a ​place ​of ​power.” - Marla Teyolia

“We ​have ​a ​western ​way ​of ​thinking ​where ​it's ​like, ​medicine ​is ​an ​external ​thing ​that ​you ​take ​into ​your ​body ​to ​help ​you to solve a problem. But ​your ​relationship ​to ​your ​inner ​spiritual ​awareness ​and ​connectedness ​is at your core and is your medicine. The ​medicine ​is ​inside. Making ​your ​medicine ​your ​lifeline has ​to ​start ​from ​there ​and ​everything ​else ​flows ​from ​that.” - Monique R. Shields

“The strength ​that ​comes ​from ​knowing. ​First ​of ​all, ​what ​you ​value ​most-​family, ​freedom, etc- there's ​no ​perfect ​static ​place ​that ​you ​arrive ​to ​that ​just ​stays ​that ​way. There's ​always ​this ​constant ​dancing ​trade ​off. When ​you ​think ​about ​doing ​that ​dance, we ​will ​cannibalize ​the ​things ​that ​matter ​most. And ​it's ​not ​like ​your ​family ​always ​gets ​the ​best ​of ​you ​or ​your ​work ​always ​gets, ​you ​know, ​100% ​of ​the ​time, ​all ​the ​time. ​But ​there ​are ​other ​things ​outside ​of ​what ​matters ​most. ​And ​it's ​like ​focus ​on ​cannibalizing ​that.” - Monique R. Shields

GUEST LINKS
Learn more about Marla Teyolia, Exec Coach + Advisor to BIPOC Visionary Leaders | Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | Tik Tok

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Have you ever found yourself feeling stuck, even though you've accomplished everything you set out to do? Life is full of subtle shifts and changes that can catch us off guard, leaving us feeling lost or in limbo. As high achievers, we can sometimes be so focused on our goals that we miss the subtle shifts happening around us.

In this episode, we’ll explore how to recognize and adapt to these seasonal transitions, ensuring that our dreams expand and contract with grace. Whether you're a CEO, entrepreneur, or someone in the midst of a personal transition, this episode offers valuable guidance to help you align with your next season.

Join in as we explore the importance of acknowledging shifts, seeking trusted perspectives, and giving yourself the grace to grow.

MENTIONED
15 | Learning To Dream First (CEO Series)

GEMS DROPPED
“Dealing with seasonal ​transition ​in ​our ​life ​means ​to ​have ​a ​life ​that ​is ​ever ​moving, ​​ever ​changing, ​and ​responding ​to ​those ​changes, …getting ​what ​we ​need ​out ​of ​the ​seasons ​that ​we're ​in, ​not ​fighting ​the ​seasons ​that ​we're ​in.All of ​those ​things ​are ​going ​to ​come ​up, but, ​I ​think ​part ​of ​where ​we ​hit ​the ​rough ​edges ​is ​we ​don't ​realize ​that ​a ​season ​has ​changed ​until ​it's ​too ​late. “

“It's ​hard ​to ​detect ​that​ ​something ​is ​off because ​the ​really ​tricky ​thing ​about ​it ​is ​that ​things ​aren't ​actually ​​broken.”

“​I ​don't ​think ​​we ​spend ​enough ​time ​talking ​about ​what ​it's ​like ​to ​navigate ​the ​murky ​waters ​of - not ​just ‘​I ​set ​the ​vision,’ ‘​I ​set ​the ​mission,’ ‘I ​walked ​the ​path,’ and ‘​I'm ​accomplishing ​the ​things ​I ​said ​I ​wanted ​to ​do’ and ​now ​something ​is ​wavering, ​something ​is ​shaky.”

“​Dreams move. ​They pivot and change course but our ​dreams also ​expand ​and ​contract ​through ​different ​seasons. When ​something ​contracts, ​usually ​everything ​comes ​closer ​together ​and ​you ​become ​more ​compact. ​There's ​no ​more ​or ​less ​material ​there. ​It's ​just that ​we ​are ​more ​focused, ​​and ​only ​going ​to ​do ​a ​certain ​number ​of ​things. ​And when ​ ​we ​have ​a ​little ​more ​heat–​think ​of ​that ​as ​energy ​or ​capacity …​then ​that ​same ​dream ​gets ​to ​expand.”

“Sometimes ​we ​will ​wake ​up ​in ​the ​middle ​of ​a ​season ​​that ​is ​basically ​trying ​to ​end. I ​had ​to ​wake ​up ​to ​the ​fact ​that ​my ​season ​had ​shifted. Now ​I'm ​in ​a ​season ​where ​all ​these ​doors ​are ​open, ​and ​I ​get ​to ​choose ​which ​door ​I ​want ​to ​walk ​through. ​Initially, ​the ​prospect ​of ​that ​felt ​kind ​of ​exciting. ​But ​then, ​immediately, ​it ​turned ​to ​overwhelm ​because ​I ​had ​not ​given ​myself ​space ​to ​actually unpack ​the ​season ​that ​I'd ​come ​through ​because ​I ​did ​not ​realize ​that ​that ​season ​had ​come ​to ​a ​close.”

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One of the most challenging aspects of this journey of entrepreneurship is people management. As entrepreneurs, we often find ourselves grappling with delegation and feedback, two crucial elements that can make or break our team dynamics and overall business success.

In this episode, I’m diving deep into these very topics by exploring the common pitfalls entrepreneurs face when trying to delegate tasks and provide feedback, and offering practical solutions to overcome these challenges. Join me as I share personal experiences and the lessons I've learned from coaching clients through the intricate dance of delegation. From setting clear expectations to creating effective checkpoints, I walk you through my thought process and provide actionable advice to help you delegate tasks more effectively and give constructive feedback.

If you've ever struggled with feeling like your standards are too high or questioned your ability to trust your team, this episode is for you.

MENTIONED
I'm opening three exclusive spots for women CEOs ready to redefine their leadership. If you're at a pivotal moment—launching a new fund, leading a team, or stepping into a new role—and feel the weight of what's next, I’m here to support you. Ready to invest in your growth and tackle challenges head-on? Visit www.moniquershields.com and fill out the simple contact form to get started.

GEMS DROPPED
“When ​we ​delegate ​the ​first ​thing ​we ​go ​to ​is ​the ​initial ​delegation, but I ​think ​that ​we ​skip ​a ​couple ​of ​steps ​when ​we ​jump ​to ​initial ​delegation. We ​bundle ​together ​in ​our ​mind ​that ​expectation ​setting ​and ​delegation ​are ​the ​same ​thing. ​Telling ​someone ​what ​you ​expect ​them ​to ​do ​in ​terms ​of ​steps ​that ​you ​expect ​them ​to ​take, ​people ​that ​you ​expect ​them ​to ​speak ​to, that ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as ​expectation ​setting. Expectation ​setting ​really ​revolves around, have ​I ​actually ​taken ​the ​time ​to ​define ​what ​ownership ​means?”

“I ​think ​the ​other ​part ​of ​​defining ​ownership, ​is ​also ​explaining ​the ​stakes ​in ​the ​context because when ​we ​start ​handing ​over ​decision ​making ​authority - even ​if ​it's very ​low ​stakes ​or ​small ​decisions - they ​still ​have ​an ​impact. ​We ​equip ​our ​team ​members ​with ​what ​they ​need ​to ​increase ​their ​chances ​of ​success when ​we ​explain ​to ​them ​the ​context, ​that ​is ​necessary ​for ​the ​task ​at ​hand ​or ​for ​the ​whatever ​it ​is ​that ​you're ​trying ​to ​hand ​over ​ownership ​for. This ​is ​a ​key ​missing ​piece.”

“Before ​we ​set any ​expectations, we ​have ​to ​recognize ​how ​little ​we ​actually know about ​what ​our ​expectations ​are. Especially ​as ​women ​leaders, ​we ​ ​know ​what ​we ​want, ​but ​we ​don't ​know ​how ​to ​express ​what ​we ​want. ​We're ​not ​practiced ​at ​it. ​We're ​not ​practiced ​at ​both, ​what ​it ​is ​that ​we ​want, ​and ​expressing ​it ​freely ​because ​we ​are ​often ​in ​spaces ​where ​it ​is ​not ​safe ​to ​do ​that. And ​so, number ​one … ​is ​to ​drop ​into ​and ​find ​support ​for ​expressing ​your ​needs. ​This ​flows ​outside ​the ​walls ​of ​your ​business or ​your ​organization. ​This ​is ​about ​how ​you ​are ​also ​showing ​up ​in ​life, ​how ​you ​relate ​to ​what ​it ​is ​that ​you ​need… ​How ​you ​express ​that. ​Period.“

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In this live-recorded episode, we explore the pervasive issue of people-pleasing, its roots, impacts, and the paths to overcoming it.

This behavior, often rooted in a desire to be liked and accepted, can have profound impacts on both our personal and professional lives. Join me for personal stories, client experiences, and actionable steps to help you reclaim your voice and set healthier boundaries. Learning to love and accept ourselves, flaws and all, is a vital part of the journey towards breaking free from this behavior.

If you're ready to reclaim your voice, tune in to this enlightening episode. It's time to prioritize your own well-being and create a life that truly reflects who you are.

GEMS DROPPED

“People pleasing ​is ​symptomatic ​of ​feeling ​unseen, ​going ​for ​long ​periods ​of ​your ​life, ​probably ​in ​your ​youth, ​probably ​having ​to ​deal ​with ​some ​of ​our ​traumas, ​​where ​we've ​been ​unseen. “

“​I ​want ​to ​be ​really ​clear ​that ​people ​pleasing ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as​ being ​”weak”, ​or, not ​having ​a ​perspective ​or ​being passive. Some ​of ​the ​most ​hard ​hitting, ​ambitious, ​aggressive, ​in ​all ​the ​best ​ways, women ​that ​I ​know ​also ​identify ​as ​being ​people ​pleasers. ​Two ​things ​can ​be ​true ​at ​the ​same ​time, ​y'all. ​People ​pleasing ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as ​playing ​second ​fiddle ​and ​always ​taking ​a ​backseat.”

“You ​are ​in ​the ​driver's ​seat ​of ​the ​choices ​you ​make, ​no ​matter ​what ​choices ​you ​make. ​This ​podcast, ​Ambition ​Without Compromise, ​is ​about ​you ​designing ​what ​ambition ​looks ​like. ​And ​I ​think ​oftentimes ​when ​you ​really ​think ​about ​it, ​one ​of ​the ​most ​ambitious ​things, ​if ​I'm ​honest, ​that ​a ​black ​woman ​in ​this ​world ​could ​do ​is ​to ​decide ​against ​all ​odds ​that ​she ​is ​prioritizing ​just ​her ​basic ​well-​being ​over ​anything ​else. Over ​career, ​over ​accolades, ​over ​anything. ​And ​that ​could ​look ​a ​lot ​of ​different ​ways.”

“Our ​bodies ​are ​our ​bodies. We ​are ​still ​real ​flesh ​and ​blood ​human ​beings. ​We ​are ​not ​supernatural. ​We ​are ​not ​meant ​to ​take ​on ​all ​the ​burdens ​of ​the ​world. ​We ​have ​got ​to ​stop ​convincing ​ourselves ​that, ​like, ​I ​can ​hold ​it. ​ ​They're ​not ​built ​like ​me, ​so ​I ​guess ​I ​better ​handle ​it. ​Like, ​at ​some ​point, it ​will ​catch ​up ​with ​you. ​​1000% ​guaranteed and ​on ​that ​day, ​you ​won't ​be ​able ​to ​always ​just ​walk ​it ​back.”

“I ​think ​all ​of ​this ​boils ​down ​to a ​very ​fundamental ​need ​that ​all ​of ​us ​have ​as ​humans, ​which ​is ​unconditional ​love. It's ​like ​the ​ooey ​gooey ​center ​of ​it ​all. ​I'm ​talking ​about ​leadership. ​I'm ​talking ​about, ​you ​know, ​showing ​up ​in ​spaces ​and ​holding ​things ​and ​pleasing ​folks. ​And ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​investors, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​team, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​clients, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​parents, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​extended ​family, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​spouse, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​kids. ​Right? ​But ​when ​we ​operate ​like ​this, ​I ​think ​a ​big ​part ​of ​it ​is ​that ​we ​move ​into ​​circumstances, ​in ​general, ​in ​life, ​where ​we ​just ​don't ​expect ​unconditional ​love. ​We ​don't ​know ​what ​that ​looks ​like. ​We ​have ​not ​been ​taught ​that ​and ​not ​in ​a ​blanketed ​way. ​And ​it's ​what ​we ​crave ​most, ​where ​it's ​just ​like, ​I ​can ​be ​me ​and ​I'll ​still ​be ​accepted. ​I ​can ​want ​what ​I ​need ​too, and ​still ​be ​loved. I’m ​deserving ​of ​it ​all.”

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