Denis Marier welcomes you to the first episode of Groomed, a podcast for male survivors of childhood grooming and sexual abuse and their loved ones.

Denis is a survivor of childhood grooming and sexual abuse by a male high school teacher. He was blessed with the support of many friends and family members in his journey through healing from what never should have happened to him or any other boy. Healing can happen.

In this first season of Groomed, Denis tells his story in conversation with his lifelong friend John Conlon. Common interests and shared experiences forged an invaluable friendship. In today’s episode, they discuss their childhood and the circumstances that shaped the person a predator chose.

Key Takeaways:

[2:30] Denis talks about what looked like a normal childhood and how his friendship with John began.

[4:59] John talks about the perceived tensions during his childhood.

[7:36] No child wants to share the struggles lived at home.

[9:10] Denis shares how he developed unclear boundaries after finding an older boy masturbating who invited him into what was interpreted as “play,” and was meant to be kept a secret.

[11:03] The secret became normalized.

[11:54] Secrets are a form of protection when you don’t want to hurt anybody.

[14:40] Denis talks about becoming a “caretaker” for his mother and how that influenced his character as a people pleaser.

[16:02] Denis tended to seek approval as a child.

[18:30] Denis talks about distinguishing himself from his siblings and vying for his parents’ attention.

[20:25] The impact of certain teachers in Denis’ youth.

[23:03] Approval seeking blurred with a lack of boundaries in Denis while growing up.

[24:33] Denis heard from a teacher: “You are a leader,” and that left a mark on him.

[26:05] Secret keeping was a part of Denis' childhood.

[27:15] Denis had an overprotective mother.

Mentioned in this Episode: 

Groomed Podcast

Groomed on Facebook

Groomed on Twitter 

Canada Suicide Prevention Services

Victim Services Ontario

Support Services for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse program 

Tweetable and Quotes:

“Secrets can set children on a path where they become vulnerable to sexual predators.” @groomedpodcast

“When a child puts his parents’ needs before their own, that child doesn't really learn healthy boundaries and grows up being a people pleaser.” @groomedpodcast

“Healing happens the moment we feel heard.” @groomedpodcast