You’re Not Listening

What You’re Missing and Why It Matters

By: Kate Murphy

Narrated by: Kate Murphy

Brought to you by Penguin.

When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you?

This life-changing book will transform your conversations forever

As a society, we’ve forgotten how to listen. Modern life is noisy and frenetic, and technology provides constant distraction. So we tune things out or listen selectively – even to those we love most. We’ve become scared of other people’s points of view, and of silence.

Now more than ever, we need to listen to those around us. New York Times contributor Kate Murphy draws on countless conversations she has had with everyone from priests to CIA interrogators, focus group moderators to bartenders, her great-great aunt to her friend's toddler, to show how only by listening well can we truly connect with others.

Listening is about curiosity and patience – about asking the right questions in the right way. Improvisational comedians and con men are much better at it than most of us. And the cleverest people can be the worst at it. Listening has the potential to transform our relationships and our working lives, improve our self-knowledge, and increase our creativity and happiness. While it may take some effort, it's a skill that can be learnt and perfected.

When all we crave is to understand and be understood, You're Not Listening shows us how.

©2020 Kate Murphy (P)2020 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

The premise of this book couldn't be more timely... inspiringly profound… Smart and playful... It feels like a reiteration of something essential... Murphy is here to remind us – entertainingly and compellingly – exactly why it matters so much, especially right now. Hear, hear. (Viv Groskop)

Gripping from start to finish... brilliant…extraordinarily interesting…full of meat and gold. (Chris Evans)

Fiercely topical... You're Not Listening is an intriguing and constructive take on the problem... and a manual for better communication. Murphy’s book is intelligent and thought-provoking… Listening is when someone take a real interest in who you are…a moment of attunement and understanding that sticks in both heads. We could all do with some of that. (Melanie Reid)

A must read for everyone

A great book, highly recommend. Easy “read” with a wealth of knowledge. This book will be valuable for anybody, in any career!

my review

loved it!!!! I thought I was a better listener than I am!! I will be trying harder!

listen more... start here

was a book that I needed to consider... the outcome was motivation to listen to the world.

Good content

I learnt the importance of being a good listener in communications. I am expecting more for the methods to be a good listener

I hope to be better at listening!

Acknowledged some behaviours within myself that are not useful... now to work on being a better listener!

Great insights…

You Are Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy explores the essential skill of listening and its impact on personal and professional relationships. Murphy argues that, in a world increasingly focused on self-expression and digital communication, true listening is becoming rare. She delves into the psychological and social benefits of listening, explaining how it fosters empathy, connection, and understanding. Through interviews and research, she highlights practical tips to improve listening skills and emphasizes how genuine engagement can transform relationships and lead to deeper insights. This book serves as a reminder that listening is a powerful, often overlooked, tool for meaningful connection.