You Can Date Boys When You're Forty
Dave Barry on Parenting and Other Topics He Knows Very Little About
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You Can Date Boys When You're Forty
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Narrated by:
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Dave Barry
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By:
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Dave Barry
About this listen
A brilliantly funny exploration of the twin mysteries of parenthood and families from the Pulitzer Prize winner and The New York Times best-selling author of Insane City.
In uproarious, brand-new pieces, Barry tackles everything from family trips, bat mitzvah parties and dating (he’s serious about that title: “When my daughter can legally commence dating - February 24, 2040 - I intend to monitor her closely, even if I am deceased”) to funeral instructions (“I would like my eulogy to be given by William Shatner”), the differences between male and female friendships, the deeper meaning of Fifty Shades of Grey, and a father’s ultimate sacrifice: accompanying his daughter to a Justin Bieber concert (“It turns out that the noise teenaged girls make to express happiness is the same noise they would make if their feet were being gnawed off by badgers.")
Let’s face it: families not only enrich our lives every day, they drive us completely around the bend. Thank goodness we have Dave Barry as our guide!
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Understanding the urgent need for a deeply thoughtful, balanced book to explain our national political process, Dave Barry has not even come close. Though he himself has covered many campaigns, run for president several times, and run for cover at the rainy inauguration of George W. Bush (the man will spare nothing for his art), Barry has instead outdone himself.
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-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 219
Duff McKagan is one of the most respected survivors in hard rock. In How to Be a Man, he shares the wisdom he gained on the path to superstardom - from his time with Guns N' Roses and Velvet Revolver to getting sober after a life of hard living to achieving his personal American dream of marrying a supermodel, raising a family, and experiencing what it's like to be winked at by Prince.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Overly dramatic reader.
- By CB on 01-07-17
By: Duff McKagan
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Schadenfreude, a Love Story
- Me, the Germans, and 20 Years of Attempted Transformations, Unfortunate Miscommunications, and Humiliating Situations That Only They Have Words For
- By: Rebecca Schuman
- Narrated by: Christa Lewis
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 22
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 19
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 19
Schadenfreude is the story of a teenage Jewish intellectual who falls in love - in love with a boy (who breaks her heart), a language (that's nearly impossible to master), a culture (that's nihilistic but punctual), and a landscape (that's breathtaking when there's not a wall in the way). Rebecca is an everyday, misunderstood '90s teenager with a passion for Pearl Jam and Ethan Hawke circa Reality Bites until two men walk into her high school civics class: Dylan Gellner and Franz Kafka, hitching a ride in Dylan's backpack.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A humorous, delectable read
- By Amazon Customer on 07-13-17
By: Rebecca Schuman
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The Unspeakable
- And Other Subjects of Discussion
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Meghan Daum
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 120
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 102
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Story4 out of 5 stars 102
It's a report tempered by hard times. In "Matricide", Daum unflinchingly describes a parent's death and the uncomfortable emotions it provokes; and in "Diary of a Coma" she relates her own journey to the twilight of the mind. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the marriage-industrial complex, of the New Age dating market, and of the peculiar habits of the young and digital.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Complaining about her dead mom.
- By Erik Hermansen on 11-23-14
By: Meghan Daum
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,185
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,070
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,066
In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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5 out of 5 stars
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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I Regret Nothing
- A Memoir
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 411
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 368
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 364
New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all - sometimes with disastrous results...Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is - yikes! - middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day.
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3 out of 5 stars
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The Smug Is Strong With This One
- By T. Filowitz on 05-24-15
By: Jen Lancaster
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Rick Mercer Final Report
- By: Rick Mercer
- Narrated by: Rick Mercer
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 30
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 28
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 28
Rick Mercer can always be relied on to provoke a strong reaction - but what he said one fall day in 2017 truly shocked Canada. In a rant posted on social media, the great Canadian satirist announced loud and clear that the 15th season of the Rick Mercer Report - the nation's best-watched and best-loved comedy show - would be the last. This volume brings together never-before-published rants from the last five seasons of the show, plus a selection of the very best rants from earlier years.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Mercer Hits It Out Of The Ballpark
- By Wade Lancaster on 11-11-19
By: Rick Mercer
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 365
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 325
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Story4 out of 5 stars 322
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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2 out of 5 stars
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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Lost Memory of Skin
- By: Russell Banks
- Narrated by: Scott Shepherd
- Length: 13 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 245
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 200
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Story4 out of 5 stars 202
Suspended in a strangely modern-day version of limbo, the young man at the center of Russell Banks’s uncompromising and morally complex new novel must create a life for himself in the wake of incarceration. Known in his new identity only as the Kid, and on probation after doing time for a liaison with an underage girl, he is shackled to a GPS monitoring device and forbidden to live within 2,500 feet of anywhere children might gather. With nowhere else to go, the Kid takes up residence under a south Florida causeway, in a makeshift encampment with other convicted sex offenders.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing "Must Read" Tale of (In)Justice in America
- By Ellen H. Anderson on 10-15-11
By: Russell Banks
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,717
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,117
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,087
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 46
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 35
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Story4 out of 5 stars 34
Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
By: Ayser Salman, and others
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Lost on Planet China
- By: J. Maarten Troost
- Narrated by: Simon Vance
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 754
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 506
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 506
When the travel bug bit, J. Maarten Troost took on the world's most populous and intriguing nation. As Troost relates his gonzo adventure - dodging deadly drivers in Shanghai, eating yak in Tibet, deciphering restaurant menus (offering local favorites such as cattle penis with garlic), and visiting with Chairman Mao (still dead) - he reveals a vast, complex country on the brink of transformation that will soon shape the way we all work, live, and think.
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3 out of 5 stars
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I love Troost but...
- By Abigail on 02-25-09
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 463
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 404
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 402
Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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Maphead
- Charting the Wide, Weird World of Geography Wonks
- By: Ken Jennings
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 233
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 195
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Story4 out of 5 stars 195
It comes as no surprise that, as a kid, Jeopardy! legend Ken Jennings slept with a bulky Hammond world atlas by his pillow every night. Maphead recounts his lifelong love affair with geography and explores why maps have always been so fascinating to him and to fellow enthusiasts everywhere.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A Romp through Maps
- By Lynn on 01-27-12
By: Ken Jennings
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Wide-Open World
- How Volunteering Around the Globe Changed One Family's Lives Forever
- By: John Marshall
- Narrated by: John Marshall
- Length: 12 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 31
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 26
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 26
John Marshall had read about the growth of voluntourism, and frankly, it was the only kind of extended trip he could afford. He'd heard that some peoples' lives were changed by a week of overseas service - what might half a year accomplish for his family? His wife, Traca, was all in favor of it; his kids, especially his 14-year-old daughter, were strongly opposed. Wide-Open World is the totally engaging, bluntly honest story of the Marshall family's life-changing adventure.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I enjoyed every minute
- By Chris on 05-15-15
By: John Marshall
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The Broken Road
- By: Richard Paul Evans
- Narrated by: Richard Paul Evans
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 558
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 496
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 494
Celebrity Charles James can't shake the nightmare that wakes him each night. He sees himself walking down a long, broken highway, the sides of which are lit in flames. Where is he going? Why is he walking? What is the wailing he hears around him? By day he wonders why he's so haunted and unhappy when he has all he ever wanted - fame, fans, and fortune and the lavish lifestyle it affords him. Coming from a childhood of poverty and pain, this is what he's dreamed of. But now, at the pinnacle of his career, he's started to wonder if he's wanted the wrong things.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Unresolved.
- By Ann Owen on 05-14-17
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Dave Barry's Greatest Hits
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: John Ritter, Arte Johnson
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 14
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 10
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 10
Tupperware ladies, eighties people, and leisure concept salesmen beware: Dave Barry is on the loose and no one is safe! In this collection of eighty essays, the inimitable columnist observes everything that makes America the unique, special place you've grown to love: taxes, toilets, airbags, baseball, beer commercials, and numerous other American artifacts.
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5 out of 5 stars
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sooo funny !!
- By Anonymous User on 07-12-24
By: Dave Barry
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I'll Mature When I'm Dead
- Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthood
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dave Barry
- Length: 4 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 305
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 188
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Story4 out of 5 stars 190
Not everyone has to be dragged kicking and screaming through adulthood. Dave Barry will help through this process - with his hilarious takes on parenting, changing self-image, the battle of the sexes, technology, health care, celebrityhood, and even vampires!
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4 out of 5 stars
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Not all greatest hits, but so many gems
- By green ice cream garden on 01-20-15