You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent

How to Practice Self-Compassion and Give Yourself a Break

By: Carla Naumburg

Narrated by: Rosemary Benson

Of course you think you’re doing a sh*tty job. Every parent does. It’s pretty much a byproduct of our society, with its incessant demands coupled with the in-your-face competitiveness parents see on social media. Unfortunately, the pandemic only made things worse, as parents juggled the stresses of helping their kids navigate online schooling while they also had to work from home. All of which makes Carla Naumburg’s new book utterly necessary. Author of How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids, with 149,000 copies in print, Naumburg delivers her message right up front—You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent—that all parents need to hear and believe in. And she does it with her singular understanding, relatably funny voice, and keen insights.

You don’t react calmly to every situation? That doesn’t make you a sh*tty parent. You’d rather hide in the back of the closet than play dolls with your child (because you hate dolls)—nope, doesn’t mean you’re a sh*tty parent. The fact is, great parenting is not the same thing as perfect parenting. Great parenting starts with true self-compassion, the kind that means you don’t judge yourself. Harnessing this self-compassion is the key to giving yourself a break and embracing your best qualities as a parent. There are four evidence-based elements of self-compassion—noticing, connection, curiosity, and compassion of course—and Naumburg gives tangible steps for how to use each to help parents reduce their anxiety, trust their instincts, move past the guilt and become a calmer, more confident parent. Which, in the end, benefits your child as much as you.

©2022 Carla Naumburg (P)2022 Workman Publishing Company

Critic reviews

"It’s easy to see why Naumburg’s side-splittingly funny and relatable work resonates so strongly during a challenging time. Essential reading."—Library Journal, starred review

"Kicking your own ass doesn't help you, and it definitely doesn't help your kids. Here's how to stop."—Dan Harris, author of the New York Times bestseller 10% Happier

"Carla Naumburg gets it. She understands how impossible it is to parent these days, and how we beat ourselves up for everything that goes wrong. Not only does Carla have your back, she speaks with a voice that is both reassuring and laugh-out-loud funny, offering ways to find more joy and sanity. If you are exhausted, stressed, depressed and at the end of your rope, grab this book. It is a life saver."—Dr. Susan Pollak, co-founder, Center for Mindfulness and Compassion, Cambridge Health Alliance, Harvard Medical School. Author, Self Compassion for Parents: Nurture Your Child by Caring for Yourself

Useless platitudes

I tried so hard to give this book a chance to get to the point. I was hoping she would break out data and studies that “good enough” parenting produced happy healthy kids, or literally anything evidence based. This was not that. This entire book could have been summarized by the motivational poster “hang in there.” I made it half way through, cringing the entire time, before giving up on this author. The narrator is great though! It’s just the content that’s awful.