When the Moon Hits Your Eye
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When the Moon Hits Your Eye
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Narrated by:
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By:
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John Scalzi
About this listen
New York Times bestseller John Scalzi flies you to the moon with his most fantastic tale to date: When the Moon Hits Your Eye
The moon has turned into cheese.
Now humanity has to deal with it.
For some it’s an opportunity. For others it’s a moment to question their faith: In God, in science, in everything. Still others try to keep the world running in the face of absurdity and uncertainty. And then there are the billions looking to the sky and wondering how a thing that was always just there is now... something absolutely impossible.
Astronauts and billionaires, comedians and bank executives, professors and presidents, teenagers and terminal patients at the end of their lives -- over the length of an entire lunar cycle, each get their moment in the moonlight. To panic, to plan, to wonder and to pray, to laugh and to grieve. All in a kaleidoscopic novel that goes all the places you’d expect, and then to so many places you wouldn’t.
It’s a wild moonage daydream. Ride this rocket.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,051
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,000
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 2,001
In the not-too-distant future, a 21-member crew launches from Earth. Their mission: to establish a temporary colony on Mars. Little do they know that colony will become permanent–and the last stand of the human race. Because, without warning, every single person left on Earth simply...vanishes. Now, a thousand years later, the resources needed to sustain life are running out, and the very existence of the Mars colony is threatened. Humankind has only one option–to return to its home planet.
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3 out of 5 stars
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It was ok.
- By Cregg Terasa on 08-06-24
By: Julian Simpson, and others
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5 out of 5 stars
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Covertly flatulent Scifi at it's best!
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 15,999
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5 out of 5 stars
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excellent
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 814
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 709
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Story4 out of 5 stars 708
Captain Ean Tephe is a man of faith, whose allegiance to his lord and to his ship is uncontested. The Bishopry Militant knows this — and so, when it needs a ship and crew to undertake a secret, sacred mission to a hidden land, Tephe is the captain to whom the task is given....
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3 out of 5 stars
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I love Scalzi's writing but not this book
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Equipped with the entirety of human knowledge, a sentient ship is launched on a last-ditch journey to find a new home for civilization. Trillions of miles. Tens of thousands of years. In the space between, the AI has plenty of time to think about life, the vastness of the universe, everything it was meant to do, and—with a perspective created but not limited by humans—what it should do.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Lovely story! Lovely performance
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,077
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The ex-planet Pluto has a few choice words about being thrown out of the solar system. A listing of alternate histories tells you all the various ways Hitler has died. A lawyer sues an interplanetary union for dangerous working conditions. And four artificial intelligences explain, in increasingly worrying detail, how they plan not to destroy humanity. Welcome to Miniatures: The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,636
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Ashley Perrin is fresh out of college and starting a job as a community liaison for the Third District–the city’s only sector with more alien residents than humans. Ashley’s barely found where the paper clips are kept when she’s beset with constituent complaints–from too much noise at the Annual Lupidian Celebration Parade to a trip-and-fall chicken to a very particular type of alien hornet that threatens the very city itself. And if that’s not terrifying enough, Ashley is next up at the office karaoke night.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Short and fun!
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 11,493
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5 out of 5 stars
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excellent
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 814
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 709
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Story4 out of 5 stars 708
Captain Ean Tephe is a man of faith, whose allegiance to his lord and to his ship is uncontested. The Bishopry Militant knows this — and so, when it needs a ship and crew to undertake a secret, sacred mission to a hidden land, Tephe is the captain to whom the task is given....
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3 out of 5 stars
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I love Scalzi's writing but not this book
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The ex-planet Pluto has a few choice words about being thrown out of the solar system. A listing of alternate histories tells you all the various ways Hitler has died. A lawyer sues an interplanetary union for dangerous working conditions. And four artificial intelligences explain, in increasingly worrying detail, how they plan not to destroy humanity. Welcome to Miniatures: The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Small doses of "Scalzian" humor
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Queen Demon
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- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Dahin believes he has clues to the location of the Hierarchs' Well, and the Witch King Kai, along with his companions Ziede and Tahren, knowing there's something he isn't telling them, travel with him to the rebuilt university of Ancartre, which may be dangerously close to finding the Well itself.
By: Martha Wells
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The Martian Contingency
- Lady Astronaut, Book 4
- By: Mary Robinette Kowal
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- Length: Not Yet Known
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Years after a meteorite strike obliterated Washington, DC—triggering an extinction-level global-warming event—Earth’s survivors have started an international effort to establish homes on space stations and the Moon. The next step–Mars. Elma York, the Lady Astronaut, lands on the Red Planet, optimistic about preparing for the first true wave of inhabitants. The mission objective is more than just building the infrastructure of a habitat–they are trying to preserve the many cultures and nuances of life on Earth without importing the hate. But from the moment she arrives, something is off.
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Old Man's War
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- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 27,697
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 24,638
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 24,637
John Perry did two things on his 75th birthday. First he visited his wife's grave. Then he joined the army. The good news is that humanity finally made it into interstellar space. The bad news is that planets fit to live on are scarce—and alien races willing to fight us for them are common. So: we fight. To defend Earth, and to stake our own claim to planetary real estate. Far from Earth, the war has been going on for decades: brutal, bloody, unyielding. Earth itself is a backwater.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fun and Witty Military Sci-Fi
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By: John Scalzi
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The President's Brain Is Missing
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- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 536
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 471
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 472
The question is, how can you tell the President's brain is missing? And are we sure we need it back?
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1 out of 5 stars
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Not my cup of tea (Kelly SAID)
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By: John Scalzi
![Little Fuzzy [Jimcin] Audiobook By H. Beam Piper cover art](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41CoeJUXYTL._SL320_.jpg)
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Little Fuzzy [Jimcin]
- By: H. Beam Piper
- Narrated by: Jim Roberts
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 54
-
Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 34
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 37
On the planet Zarathustra, a sunstone prospector named Jack Holloway has a mysterious small, "fuzzy" alien show up at his door and make itself at home. Jack names it "Little Fuzzy" and the creature's whole family soon joins them. Hardened prospector Jack is transformed into their "pappy" and chief protector and his life is changed forever.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Story!
- By Kindle Customer on 06-12-10
By: H. Beam Piper
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Anima Rising
- A Novel
- By: Christopher Moore
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
-
Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
-
Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Vienna, 1911. Gustav Klimt, the most famous painter in the Austrian Empire, the darling of Viennese society, spots a woman’s nude body in the Danube canal. He knows he should summon a policeman, but he can’t resist stopping to make a sketch first. And as he draws, the woman coughs. She’s alive! Back at his studio, Klimt and his model-turned-muse Wally tend to the erstwhile-drowned girl. She’s nearly feral and doesn’t remember who she is, or how she came to be floating in the canal. Klimt names her Judith, after one of his most famous paintings, and resolves to help her find her memory.
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Redshirts
- A Novel with Three Codas
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 23,449
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 21,607
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Story4 out of 5 stars 21,571
Ensign Andrew Dahl has just been assigned to the Universal Union Capital Ship Intrepid, flagship of the Universal Union since the year 2456. Life couldn’t be better…until Andrew begins to pick up on the facts that (1) every Away Mission involves some kind of lethal confrontation with alien forces; (2) the ship’s captain, its chief science officer, and the handsome Lieutenant Kerensky always survive these confrontations; and (3) at least one low-ranked crew member is, sadly, always killed.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Not his Wheal-house
- By P. Stover on 09-16-13
By: John Scalzi
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Rip-Off!
- By: John Scalzi, Jack Campbell, Mike Resnick, and others
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton, Scott Brick, Christian Rummel, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 1,595
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,438
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 1,441
In Rip-Off!, 13 of today’s best and most honored writers of speculative fiction face a challenge even they would be hard-pressed to conceive: Pick your favorite opening line from a classic piece of fiction (or even non-fiction) - then use it as the first sentence of an entirely original short story.
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4 out of 5 stars
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When is a rip-off not a rip-off?
- By Julie W. Capell on 11-24-13
By: John Scalzi, and others
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The B-Team
- The Human Division, Episode 1
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 2 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,815
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,609
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,617
Colonial Union Ambassador Ode Abumwe and her team are used to life on the lower end of the diplomatic ladder. But when a high-profile diplomat goes missing, Abumwe and her team are last minute replacements on a mission critical to the Colonial Union’s future. As the team works to pull off their task, CDF Lieutenant Harry Wilson discovers there’s more to the story of the missing diplomats than anyone expected... a secret that could spell war for humanity.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Obumwe said, Eagan said, Wilson said, Rickney said
- By A Fitts on 01-18-13
By: John Scalzi
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The Kaiju Preservation Society
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 11,893
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 10,636
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 10,619
When COVID-19 sweeps through New York City, Jamie Gray is stuck as a dead-end driver for food-delivery apps. That is, until Jamie makes a delivery to an old acquaintance, Tom, who works at what he calls “an animal rights organization”. Tom’s team needs a last-minute grunt to handle things on their next field visit. Jamie, eager to do anything, immediately signs on. What Tom doesn't tell Jamie is that the animals his team cares for are not here on Earth. Not our Earth, at at least. In an alternate dimension, dinosaur-like creatures named Kaiju roam a warm and human-free world.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I'm listening with a permanent smile on my face
- By Lucy A. Pithecus on 03-15-22
By: John Scalzi
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A Very Scalzi Christmas
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 479
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 429
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 429
New York Times best-selling and Hugo Award-winning author John Scalzi gift-wraps 15 short takes on the holiday season - interviews with holiday notables, "informational" articles about TV specials and Christmas carols, short stories and poems, and even a couple of nods to Thanksgiving and New Year’s - and puts them all into a stocking stuffer-sized package that makes the perfect gift for friends, family, or yourself.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Very Scalzian indeed!
- By Andre Wallace Simonsen on 12-03-19
By: John Scalzi
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Starter Villain
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10,454
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 9,293
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 9,287
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi