When Mr. Dog Bites
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When Mr. Dog Bites
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Narrated by:
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Julian Elfer
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By:
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Brian Conaghan
About this listen
Dylan Mint has Tourette's. His life is a constant battle to keep the bad stuff in - the swearing, the tics, the howling dog that seems to escape whenever he gets stressed. But a routine visit to the hospital changes everything. Overhearing a hushed conversation between the doctor and his mum, Dylan discovers that he's going to die in March. So he makes a list of things he must do before he dies: First, he wants to have real sex with gorgeous Michelle Malloy; Second, he's got to find his autistic best friend Amir a new best bud; Third, he's got to get his dad back home from the army so they can say goodbye properly. It's not a long list, but it's ambitious, and he doesn't have much time. Sometimes you've just got to go for it - no holding back - and see what happens....
This is the launch of a major new writing talent. Brian Conaghan makes you travel every step of the way in Dylan's shoes, laughing and crying - often at the same time - as Dylan faces the twists and turns of an unfair world with glorious optimism and wit.
©2014 Brian Conaghan (P)2013 Audible Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 29
Victor hates his life. He has no friends, gets beaten up at school, and his parents are always criticizing him. Tired of feeling miserable, Victor takes a bottle of his mother’s sleeping pills - only to wake up in the hospital. Bull is angry, and takes all of his rage out on Victor. That makes him feel better, at least a little. But it doesn’t stop Bull’s grandfather from getting drunk and hitting him. So Bull tries to defend himself with a loaded gun. When Victor and Bull end up as roommates in the same psych ward, there’s no way to escape each other or their problems. Which means things are going to get worse - much worse - before they get better.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Very interesting
- By Mitra Grondin on 06-07-15
By: K. M. Walton
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Guys Read: Funny Business
- By: Jon Scieszka, Adam Rex, Christopher Curtis, and others
- Narrated by: Michael Boatman, Kate DiCamillo, John Keating, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 119
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 86
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Story4 out of 5 stars 85
Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else? - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and the Guys Read Library, you already know what you’re in store for: 10 hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you’re through, you’ll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world’s largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son’s room to a biker; and more.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Awesome super funny
- By sacha on 10-03-16
By: Jon Scieszka, and others
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The Last Thing I Remember
- By: Deborah Bee
- Narrated by: Yolanda Kettle, Lucy Middleweek
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 139
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 114
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Story4 out of 5 stars 112
A novel that grips from the very beginning and that will live long in the memory, The Last Thing I Remember is Deborah Bee's startling debut thriller. Sarah is in a coma. Her memory is gone - she doesn't know how she got there. And she doesn't know how she might get out. But then she discovers that her injury wasn't an accident. And that the assailant hasn't been caught. Unable to speak, see or move, Sarah must use every clue that she overhears to piece together her own past.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Grow up...
- By Kelly on 03-08-20
By: Deborah Bee
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This Raging Light
- By: Estelle Laure
- Narrated by: Sandy Rustin
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 29
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 27
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 28
Lucille seems to have nothing going for her. With the bills piling in, the house falling apart around her, and her sister's growing distress, it is precisely the worst possible moment for Lucille to fall recklessly in love with her best friend's twin brother, Digby, who is practically engaged.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing Loving and Sexy
- By Princess Lucy on 12-28-17
By: Estelle Laure
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It's Kind of a Funny Story
- By: Ned Vizzini
- Narrated by: Robert Fass
- Length: 8 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 892
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 778
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Story4 out of 5 stars 775
Ambitious New York City teenager Craig Gilner is determined to succeed at life-which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job. But once Craig aces his way into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School, the pressure becomes unbearable. He stops eating and sleeping until, one night, he nearly kills himself.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Really bad story
- By Nora on 08-20-18
By: Ned Vizzini
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A Horse Walks into a Bar
- By: David Grossman, Jessica Cohen
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 230
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 210
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Story4 out of 5 stars 211
In a little dive in a small Israeli city, Dov Greenstein, a comedian a bit past his prime, is doing a night of stand-up. In the audience is a district court justice, Avishai Lazar, whom Dov knew as a boy, along with a few others who remember Dov as the awkward, scrawny kid who walked on his hands to confound the neighborhood bullies. Gradually, teetering between hilarity and hysteria, Dov's patter becomes a kind of memoir, taking us back into the terrors of his childhood.
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5 out of 5 stars
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An extraordinary experience
- By Judith on 07-28-17
By: David Grossman, and others
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Carter Finally Gets It
- A Novel
- By: Brent Crawford
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 51
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 40
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 40
Meet Will Carter, but feel free to call him Carter. (Yes, he knows it's a lazy nickname, but he didn't have much say in the matter.) He has a stuttering problem, particularly around boobs and belly buttons. He battles Attention Deficit Disorder every minute of every day...unless he gets distracted. He's a virgin, mostly because he's no good at talking to girls.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Funny and so believable!
- By Liana on 09-13-13
By: Brent Crawford
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Will Grayson, Will Grayson
- By: John Green, David Levithan
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews, Nick Podehl
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 248
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 212
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 210
One cold night, in a most unlikely corner of Chicago, Will Grayson crosses paths with...Will Grayson. Two teens with the same name, running in two very different circles, suddenly find their lives going in new and unexpected directions, and culminating in epic turns-of-heart and the most fabulous musical ever to grace the high school stage.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fun fast witty
- By Jody Ann Dagg on 09-16-24
By: John Green, and others
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The Death of Cool
- From Teenage Rebellion to the Hangover of Adulthood
- By: Gavin McInnes
- Narrated by: Gavin McInnes
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,191
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,051
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,051
This is his story, or, rather, stories - lots of them, and all gut-punchingly hilarious, from that first far reach into a girl's tight jeans to turning forty with a cataclysmic party. In between you’ll hear about acid trips, threesomes, Nazi skinheads, his band Anal Chinook (Inuit for “warm wind”), Martians in northern Canada, throwing pedophiles in jail, dinner with the Clash, what happens when you crash Bill Maher's show wasted, and the true story of Vice magazine.
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5 out of 5 stars
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if you don't buy this book, the terrorists win
- By Kelsey Gholi on 04-03-17
By: Gavin McInnes
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Carter's Unfocused, One-Track Mind
- A Novel
- By: Brent Crawford
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 31
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 28
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 28
After an eventful freshman year and a disastrous summer, fifteen-year-old Will Carter returns to Merrian High none the wiser. The year starts off pretty normally. He’s back on the football field (the bench area of the field). He and his boys start a fight club to defend themselves against Scary Terry Moss, who is out of juvie and hunting Carter. And he goes to homecoming again with Amber Lee.
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5 out of 5 stars
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so fun
- By Danny on 02-10-21
By: Brent Crawford
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Mirrored
- By: Alex Flinn
- Narrated by: Amanda Dolan, Caitlin Davies, James Fouhey, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 48
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 39
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 40
Celine's life is the stuff fairy tales are made of. She's beautiful, talented, and brave. Unfortunately, her tale comes complete with a wicked stepmother! When Violet steps into Celine's life, everything changes, and weird things begin to happen to her - bizarre accidents, strange illnesses, and rabid animal attacks. Celine doesn't feel safe anywhere. It's almost as if some hateful witch is out to get her.
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4 out of 5 stars
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It was pretty good, just not a book that I would listen to over and over again
- By Pablo Valdez on 04-27-17
By: Alex Flinn
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Does My Head Look Big in This?
- By: Randa Abdel-Fattah
- Narrated by: Rebecca Macauley
- Length: 9 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 106
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 88
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Story4 out of 5 stars 89
Welcome to my world. I'm Amal Abdel-Hakim, a 17-year-old Australian-Palestinian-Muslim still trying to come to grips with my various identity hyphens. It's hard enough being cool as a teenager when being one issue behind the latest Cosmo is enough to disqualify you from the in-group. Try wearing a veil on your head and practicing the bum's up position at lunchtime and you know you're in for a tough time at school.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great Book
- By Anonymous User on 01-07-19
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The Secret Side of Empty
- By: Maria E. Andreu
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 24
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 23
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 23
What's it like to be undocumented? High school senior M.T. knows all too well. With graduation and an uncertain future looming, she must figure out how to grow up in the only country she's ever called home... a country in which she's "illegal". M.T. was born in Argentina and brought to America as a baby without any official papers. And as questions of college, work, and the future arise, M.T. will have to decide what exactly she wants for herself, knowing someone she loves will unavoidably pay the price for it.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Heavy topics handled well but just fell short 4 me
- By AudioBookHoe on 07-30-17
By: Maria E. Andreu
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The Woman Who Stole My Life
- By: Marian Keyes
- Narrated by: Aoife McMahon
- Length: 15 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 586
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 526
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Story4 out of 5 stars 525
In her own words, Stella Sweeney is just "an ordinary woman living an ordinary life with her husband and two teenage kids", working for her sister in their neighborhood beauty salon. Then one day she is struck by a serious illness that lands her in the hospital for months.
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3 out of 5 stars
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First Part? Good. Second Part? Ugh!
- By Gillian on 08-31-17
By: Marian Keyes
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Notes from the Midnight Driver
- By: Jordan Sonnenblick
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 4 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 196
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 166
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 163
“Alex Peter Gregory, you are a moron!” Laurie slammed her palms down on my desk and stomped her foot. I get a lot of that. One car crash. One measly little car crash. And suddenly, I’m some kind of convicted felon. My parents are getting divorced, my dad is shacking up with my third-grade teacher. I might be in love with a girl who could kill me with one finger, and now I’m sentenced to baby-sit some insane old guy. What else could possibly go wrong? This is the story of Alex Gregory, his guitar, his best gal pal Laurie, and the friendship of a lifetime that he never would have expected.
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1 out of 5 stars
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I gave up on this one pretty quick.
- By Richard Delman on 07-23-12
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Just My Luck
- By: Andrea Bramhall
- Narrated by: Rachael Beresford
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 42
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 41
Genna Collins works a dead end job, loves her family, her girlfriend, and her friends. When she wins the biggest Euromillions jackpot on record everything changes . . . and not always for the best. When Abi Kitson fell in love she always knew it would go unrequited. The woman of her dreams was so close yet seemingly untouchable for so many reasons. Reasons like—they are best friends, or the big age gap, or the 'other' woman, nevermind Abi's own baggage.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good
- By Wendy Davidson on 10-25-24
By: Andrea Bramhall
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Be More Chill
- By: Ned Vizzini
- Narrated by: Ramon de Ocampo
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 170
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 153
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 153
Jeremy Heere is your average high school dork. Day after day, he stares at beautiful Christine, the girl he can never have, and dryly notes the small humiliations that come his way. Until the day he learns about the "squip." A pill-sized supercomputer that you swallow, the squip is guaranteed to bring you whatever you most desire in life. By instructing him on everything from what to wear, to how to talk and walk, the squip transforms Jeremy from geek to the coolest guy in class. But Jeremy discovers that there is a dark side to handing over control of your life....
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2 out of 5 stars
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I f you’re looking for anything similar to the musical, skip it.
- By Destry on 09-23-19
By: Ned Vizzini
What listeners say about When Mr. Dog Bites
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- E. Treacy
- 04-23-16
Brilliantly performed
An excellent performance brings this story expertly to life. The trials and tribulations of the teenage Dylan Mint are at times laugh out loud hilarious as he ponders his way through some of the more confusing and strange things adults do. His first person perspective makes the story all the more involving for the listener.
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- bookreader
- 04-24-21
Unoriginal
Mostly a poor copy ofThe Dog on the Noghttime...no complaints about narration, it was fine.
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