What the Hell Did I Just Read
A Novel of Cosmic Horror
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What the Hell Did I Just Read
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Narrated by:
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Stephen R. Thorne
About this listen
It's the story "They" don't want you to listen to. Though, to be fair, "They" are probably right about this one. To quote the Bible, "Learning the truth can be like loosening a necktie, only to realize it was the only thing keeping your head attached". No, don't put the book back on the shelf - it is now your duty to purchase it to prevent others from listening to it. Yes, it works with audiobooks, too, I don't have time to explain how.
While investigating a fairly straightforward case of a shape-shifting interdimensional child predator, Dave, John, and Amy realized there might actually be something weird going on. Together, they navigate a diabolically convoluted maze of illusions, lies, and their own incompetence in an attempt to uncover a terrible truth they - like you - would be better off not knowing.
Your first impulse will be to think that a story this gruesome - and, to be frank, stupid - cannot possibly be true. That is precisely the reaction "They" are hoping for.
©2017 David Wong, Jason Pargin (P)2017 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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5 out of 5 stars
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
- By C Yohe on 11-19-12
By: David Wong
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Kiss Her Goodbye
- A Fourth Dimension Thriller
- By: Robert Gregory Browne
- Narrated by: Scott Brick
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 142
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 130
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Story4 out of 5 stars 127
All ATF Agent Jack Donovan wants out of life is to do his job and work on his strained relationship with his daughter Jessie after a nasty divorce. But in a ruthless act of revenge by a charismatic madman, Jessie is kidnapped and buried alive, with barely enough oxygen to sustain her. Now the only man who can save her, the only man who knows where to find her, has just been shot dead - and the clock is ticking... So what's a father to do?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Super supernatural thriller
- By shelley on 02-02-14
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Zombies: More Recent Dead
- By: Neil Gaiman, Carrie Vaughn, Caitlin R. Kiernan, and others
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt, Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 20 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 128
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 116
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Story4 out of 5 stars 116
The living dead are more alive than ever! Zombies have become more than an iconic monster for the 21st century: They are now a phenomenon constantly revealing as much about ourselves - and our fascination with death, resurrection, and survival - as our love for the supernatural or post-apocalyptic speculation. Our most imaginative literary minds have been devoured by these incredible creatures and produced exciting, insightful, and unflinching new works of zombie fiction.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A well blended mix
- By The Lone Mopper on 07-30-15
By: Neil Gaiman, and others
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Cold City
- Repairman Jack: Early Years Trilogy, Book 1
- By: F. Paul Wilson
- Narrated by: Alexander Cendese
- Length: 11 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,218
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,054
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,049
If you've never read a Repairman Jack novel, this is the place to begin. It's 1990. A twenty-one-year-old named Jack has dropped out of college, leaving his old life behind to build a new one in New York City. Manhattan's rough edges are jagged enough to shred any unwary newcomer, but perhaps not one who is determined to stay off the grid, at any cost, in the busiest metropolis on earth. And to do so, he'll have to take jobs of a less than legal nature.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Fun, as long you don't think too much
- By Andrew Pollack on 01-17-14
By: F. Paul Wilson
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Yesterday's Gone: Season One
- By: Sean Platt, David Wright
- Narrated by: Chris Patton, Brian Holsopple, Ray Chase, and others
- Length: 15 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,817
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,540
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Story4 out of 5 stars 3,526
Can humanity Survive what it never saw coming? On October 15 at 2:15 a.ms Earth vanished. A scattered few woke alone in a world with no rules, other than survival at any cost. A journalist wanders the wretched reality of an empty New York, searching for his wife and son. A serial killer must hunt in a land where prey is now an endangered species. A mother shields her young daughter from danger through every terror-filled breath.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Idk how it got such rave reviews!? horrible!!
- By Kate+4 on 05-26-18
By: Sean Platt, and others
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I Am Not a Serial Killer
- John Cleaver, Book 1
- By: Dan Wells
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 935
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 837
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 836
John Wayne Cleaver is dangerous, and he knows it. He's obsessed with serial killers, but really doesn't want to become one. So for his own sake, and the safety of those around him, he lives by rigid rules he's written for himself, practicing normal life as if it were a private religion that could save him from damnation. Dead bodies are normal to John. They don't demand or expect the empathy he's unable to offer. Perhaps that's what gives him the objectivity to recognize that there's something different about the body the police have just found behind the Wash-n-Dry Laundromat - and to appreciate what that difference means.
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1 out of 5 stars
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WRONG CATEGORY - THIS IS NOT A MYSTERY
- By guy on 02-27-19
By: Dan Wells
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Monster Hunter International
- By: Larry Correia
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 24 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 20,474
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 18,503
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 18,476
Five days after Owen Zastava Pitt pushed his insufferable boss out of a 14th story window, he woke up in the hospital with a scarred face, an unbelievable memory, and a job offer. It turns out that monsters are real. All the things from myth, legend, and B-movies are out there, waiting in the shadows. Some of them are evil, and some are just hungry. Monster Hunter International is the premier eradication company in the business. And now Owen is their newest recruit.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Suprizingly entertaining
- By Konstantin on 02-17-12
By: Larry Correia
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Raising Stony Mayhall
- By: Daryl Gregory
- Narrated by: David Marantz
- Length: 12 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,539
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,369
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,372
In 1968, after the first zombie outbreak, Wanda Mayhall and her three young daughters discover the body of a teenage mother during a snowstorm. Wrapped in the woman's arms is a baby - stone-cold, not breathing, and without a pulse. But then his eyes open and look up at Wanda, and he begins to move.The family hides the child - whom they name Stony - rather than turn him over to authorities who would destroy him. Against all scientific reason, the undead boy begins to grow....
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5 out of 5 stars
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You'll wish you lived as much as this undead boy
- By Maryland on 10-27-11
By: Daryl Gregory
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Rise Again
- A Zombie Thriller
- By: Ben Tripp
- Narrated by: Kirsten Potter
- Length: 16 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 720
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 656
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Story4 out of 5 stars 654
Filled with adventurous human drama-and shocking inhuman horror - Rise Again is a vivid and powerful debut novel of the zombie apocalypse.
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4 out of 5 stars
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SHE TOOK A SPATULA AND SCRAPPED HIS FACE OFF THE
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 04-13-17
By: Ben Tripp
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The Brotherhood of the Wheel
- By: R. S. Belcher
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 14 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,273
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,117
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,113
In AD 1119, a group of nine crusaders became known as the Poor Fellow-Soldiers of Christ and of the Temple of Solomon - a militant monastic order charged with protecting pilgrims and caravans traveling on the roads to and from the Holy Land. In time, the Knights Templar would grow in power and, ultimately, be laid low. But a small offshoot of the Templars endure and have returned to the order's original mission: to defend the roads of the world and guard those who travel on them.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Epic Battle Brewing
- By Doug D. Eigsti on 03-29-16
By: R. S. Belcher
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Superheroes
- By: Peter S. Beagle, Daryl Gregory, James Patrick Kelly, and others
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman, Joe Barrett, Christina Delaine, and others
- Length: 17 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 169
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 149
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Story4 out of 5 stars 148
Modern gods and goddesses, remote, revered - and like the pantheon of heroes and heroines of ancient myth - possessing great power tempered with flaws. Now, find within this anthology great tales by gifted and award-winning authors who move superheroes from the four-color panels of comic books to the fantastic pages of fiction, stories that will remind anyone who ever wanted to wear a cape or don a cowl of the extraordinary powers of the imagination!
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1 out of 5 stars
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Pretentious tired old concepts
- By BookofJoy on 12-29-14
By: Peter S. Beagle, and others
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Meddling Kids
- A Novel
- By: Edgar Cantero
- Narrated by: Kyla Garcia
- Length: 12 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,542
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,405
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,407
Summer 1977. The Blyton Summer Detective Club (of Blyton Hills, a small mining town in Oregon's Zoinx River Valley) solved their final mystery and unmasked the elusive Sleepy Lake monster - another low-life fortune hunter trying to get his dirty hands on the legendary riches hidden in Deboën Mansion. And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids.
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2 out of 5 stars
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should have been a YA novel
- By Bearded Barista on 08-20-17
By: Edgar Cantero
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Allison Hewitt Is Trapped
- A Zombie Novel
- By: Madeleine Roux
- Narrated by: Piper Goodeve
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 353
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 291
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Story4 out of 5 stars 292
One woman's story as she blogs about - and fights back against - the zombie apocalypse.
Allison Hewitt and her five colleagues at the Brooks and Peabody Bookstore are trapped together when the zombie outbreak hits. Allison reaches out for help through her blog, writing on her laptop. It may also be her only chance to reach her mother. But as the reality of their situation sinks in, Allison's blog becomes a harrowing account of her edge-of-the-seat adventures.
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1 out of 5 stars
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lots of potential but disappointing
- By Linda B on 04-29-11
By: Madeleine Roux
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Sandman Slim
- Sandman Slim, Book 1
- By: Richard Kadrey
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 6,015
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,365
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,374
When he was 19, James Stark was considered to be one of the greatest natural magicians, a reputation that got him demon-snatched and sent downtown - to Hell - where he survived as a gladiator, a sideshow freak entertaining Satan's fallen angels. That was 11 years ago. Now, the hitman who goes only by Stark has escaped and is back in L.A. Armed with a fortune-telling coin, a black bone knife, and an infernal key, Stark is determined to destroy the magic circle.
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5 out of 5 stars
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jack bauer + spawn = sandman slim
- By Mike Naka on 11-03-12
By: Richard Kadrey
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Gone
- Gone Series, Book 1
- By: Michael Grant
- Narrated by: Kyle McCarley
- Length: 17 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 891
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 794
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 796
In the blink of an eye, everyone disappears. Gone. Except for the young. There are teens, but not one single adult. Just as suddenly, there are no phones, no Internet, no television. No way to get help. And no way to figure out what's happened. Hunger threatens. Bullies rule. A sinister creature lurks. Animals are mutating. And the teens themselves are changing, developing new talents - unimaginable, dangerous, deadly powers - that grow stronger by the day. It's a terrifying new world.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Please rerelease this book w new narration
- By Kim on 02-12-17
By: Michael Grant
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The Long Way Down
- Daniel Faust, Book 1
- By: Craig Schaefer
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,572
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,451
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,451
Nobody knows the seedy underbelly of Las Vegas like Daniel Faust, a sorcerer for hire and ex-gangster who uses black magic and bullets to solve his clients' problems. When an old man comes seeking vengeance for his murdered granddaughter, what looks like a simple job quickly spirals out of control. Soon Daniel stands in the crossfire between a murderous porn director; a corrupt cop with a quick trigger finger; and his own former employer, a racket boss who isn't entirely human.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Urban fantasy noir. Done right..
- By Cliff on 02-19-15
By: Craig Schaefer
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The Dirty Streets of Heaven
- Volume One of Bobby Dollar
- By: Tad Williams
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 15 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 998
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 907
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Story4 out of 5 stars 913
Bobby Dollar is an angel - a real one. He knows a lot about sin, and not just in his professional capacity as an advocate for souls caught between Heaven and Hell. Bobby’s wrestling with a few deadly sins of his own - pride, anger, even lust. But his problems aren’t all his fault. Bobby can’t entirely trust his heavenly superiors, and he’s not too sure about any of his fellow earthbound angels either, especially the new kid that Heaven has dropped into their midst, a trainee angel who asks too many questions.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Angel Noir
- By Michael on 10-17-12
By: Tad Williams
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Undertow
- By: Michael Buckley
- Narrated by: Jennifer Grace
- Length: 11 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 106
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 96
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Story4 out of 5 stars 97
When Lyric Walker was 14 years old, her life was turned upside down when she witnessed a world-changing event - the arrival of the Triton, a five-nation race of warrior merpeople who walked out of the sea and camped on the beaches of modern-day Coney Island. Suddenly her neighborhood was home to a new minority group numbering in the tens of thousands. But the Triton's arrival also revealed a shocking family secret: Her own mother was a mermaid.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I loved “Undertow” by Michael Buckley.
- By love2dazzle on 11-13-17
By: Michael Buckley
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John Dies at the End
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