Unmasked

My Life Solving America's Cold Cases

By: Paul Holes, Robin Gaby Fisher

Narrated by: Paul Holes

2022 Audible.com Best of the Year, Long-listed
2022 Hudson Booksellers Best of the Year, Long-listed
2022 Amazon.com Best Books of the Year, Long-listed

This program is read by the author.

From the detective who found the Golden State Killer, a memoir of investigating America’s toughest cold cases and the rewards–and toll–of a life solving crime.

I order another bourbon, neat. This is the drink that will flip the switch. I don’t even know how I got here, to this place, to this point. Something is happening to me lately. I’m drinking too much. My sheets are soaking wet when I wake up from nightmares of decaying corpses. I order another drink and swig it, trying to forget about the latest case I can’t shake.

Crime solving for me is more complex than the challenge of the hunt, or the process of piecing together a scientific puzzle. The thought of good people suffering drives me, for better or worse, to the point of obsession. People always ask how I am able to detach from the horrors of my work. Part of it is an innate capacity to compartmentalize; the rest is experience and exposure, and I’ve had plenty of both. But I have always taken pride in the fact that I can keep my feelings locked up to get the job done. It’s only been recently that it feels like all that suppressed darkness is beginning to seep out.

When I look back at my long career, there is a lot I am proud of. I have caught some of the most notorious killers of the twenty-first century and brought justice and closure for their victims and families. I want to tell you about a lifetime solving these cold cases, from Laci Peterson to Jaycee Dugard to the Pittsburg homicides to, yes, my twenty-year-long hunt for the Golden State Killer.

But a deeper question eats at me as I ask myself, at what cost? I have sacrificed relationships, joy—even fatherhood—because the pursuit of evil always came first. Did I make the right choice? It’s something I grapple with every day. Yet as I stand in the spot where a young girl took her last breath, as I look into the eyes of her family, I know that, for me, there has never been a choice. “I don’t know if I can solve your case,” I whisper. “But I promise I will do my best.”

It is a promise I know I can keep.

A Macmillan Audio production from Celadon Books

©2022 Paul Holes (P)2022 Macmillan Audio

Critic reviews

"[Paul Holes's] memoir grabs its reader in a stranglehold and proves more fascinating than fiction and darker than any noir narrative."
—Los Angeles Magazine

"Fans of true crime will love every page of Unmasked. It is a wildly engaging and painfully honest read that will appeal to anyone curious about the lives of those who pursue justice for voiceless victims."
—San Francisco Chronicle

"An exceptional memoir... his unflinching look at the emotional toll the more than 27 years he spent working in Contra Costa County in the San Francisco Bay Area took on him and his family distinguishes this from similar true crime narratives."
—Publishers Weekly, starred review

Fascinating and engrossing! Paul is the best!!

You are a blessing, Paul. Never doubt it or yourself. Loved the book! #hotforholes

Love this!

Love this book! Follow everything Paul does! 5 stars in my book! Truly loved it!

compelling story!

overall, I enjoyed this true story and accounts from Paul Holes. However, numerous times during this audio book, I felt like he should have hired a professional narrator. with that said, knowing that Paul Holes lived this himself, his personal experience does shine through during his narration.

I found the continuous struggle and torment Paul describes regarding his pursuit of serial criminals and the toll those activities had on his personal life and relationships valuable.

Amazing! As expected.

Paul Holes is incredible and hearing more of his story with his vulnerability is amazing. For those really familiar with GSK-it’s still a fantastic narrative and isn’t redundant to everything you have already heard. Lots of great other cases discussed. I also can’t imagine anyone else reading it. I’m really pleased!

Great book!

I finished this book in one day. Paul truly has a calling. He was relentless in his quest to find GSK so that justice could be served for the victims. Relentless. Tormented. Passionate. I admire the men and women who witness the devastation of monsters and somehow power through it to get them behind bars. This book
discusses true crime cases as well as Paul's personal story. Highly recommend.

Great read

Loved the book and all the stories in it. Only negative was the somewhat awkward reading in parts (e.g. lots of awkward hard “t”s that were distracting - kitten, gotten).

Not to be "that" person but...

in regards to his hyperfocus I kept thinking, he should consider being tested for ADHD

An excellent peak behind the scenes.

Admittedly, it was a struggle to get into this one at first due to the excellent pronunciation by Paul. No fault of his, he is very well spoken, I just wasn't used to hearing someone speak so clearly.

I loved this book and so did my husband. We started it on a road trip and binged through the rest when we got home.

This is not just another true crime book, in fact, you don't even need to be a true crime fan to enjoy it. Paul draws you in with his relatability. He grabs your attention by providing just enough detail about the cases to get you hooked. He shares so much about his personal strengths and struggles that it almost feels like you're reading a journal at times, and keeps you invested in the person behind the words. The compassion he has for his case victims is both honorable and astounding. He mentions several times that he has to switch to a different mode while working to box out the emotions.

Spoiler alert: he does discuss his work on GSK which I'm sure most people are interested in if they're reading this book. Throughout the entire book he is paying honor and respect to various people he's encountered in his life, making his character even more endearing.

In the end, this is a book about a man's weaknessses and victories and how those shaped his life. Though it's not just a tell-all report, it's an open and honest look into what people in his position have experienced. Highly recommend.

Excellent!

I first ‘met’ Paul through listening to The Murder Squad podcast. Excellent book and stories. If you enjoy true crime you will enjoy this.

Love Paul Holes…

…but he’s definitely not an engaging narrator, even recounting his career. Still, a very intriguing account of his career and life.