Unlearning Silence

How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully

By: Elaine Lin Hering

Narrated by: Elaine Lin Hering

NATIONAL BESTSELLER

"Unlearning Silence is the book I wish I had when I started my career….This book is going to change the workplace for the better."—Pooja Lakshmin MD, psychiatrist & best-selling author of Real Self-Care

“A necessary read…Unlearning Silence offers an opportunity and tools to change things within and around us – for ourselves and those we love.” —Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

A paradigm-shifting book looking at the pervasive influence of silence and how we can begin to dismantle it in order to find our voices at home and at work

Having a seat at the table doesn’t mean that your voice is actually welcome. Knowing something is wrong doesn't mean it's easy to speak up. In fact, there are incentives for many of us to stay silent. Why speak up if you know that it won’t be received well, and in fact, often makes things worse?

In Unlearning Silence, Hering explores how we’ve learned to be silent, how we’ve benefited from silence, how we’ve silenced other people—and how we might choose another way. She teaches how to recognize and unlearn unconscious patterns so we can make more intentional choices about how we want to show up at home and at work. Only by unlearning silence can we more fully unleash talent, speak our minds, and be more complete versions of ourselves… and help other people do the same.

With compassion, clarity, and understanding, Hering guides readers through real-life examples and offers a concrete road map for doing this vital and challenging work.©2024 Elaine Lin Hering (P)2024 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

“A necessary read. With empathy and clarity, Elaine unpacks what makes it so hard to honor ourselves and talk with each other. Unlearning Silence offers an opportunity and tools to change things within and around us–for ourselves and those we love.” —Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and co-host of the Dear Therapists podcast

"Unlearning Silence is the book I wish I had when I started my career. Hering not only proves why silence is toxic, but, critically, goes a step further and shows us how to speak up in a way that is safe, values aligned, and has the greatest chance of being impactful. This book is going to change the workplace for the better." —Pooja Lakshmin MD, psychiatrist & best-selling author of Real Self-Care

“Too often as women, we are told we are the problem. Books tell us to just be more confident. To show up and then speak up. Elaine goes deeper and shows us that the silence we've been indoctrinated by runs deep and it is what holds us back and makes us feel small. A must read for every leader.” —Deepa Purushothaman, author of The First, The Few, The Only

Rich. Relevant. Raw Truth.

Finally! A work that dives deep into the shadowy contours of the behavior social scientists have coined as "quiet" or "reserved". Silence has many shades that can be deceptively simple to the eyes, but complex at the heart. Elaine created a well-organized anthology of stories to help readers from various backgrounds understand the formation of silence and its impact on overall human effectiveness and well-being. As a consultant and coach who does transformation work, I found this book to be an incredible primer for deep work. If you buy the Audible version, you'll find the author's voice pleasant, well-paced and easy to follow. This book is not just for those who use silence as a default to discomfort, it is for anyone to grow their self-awareness to improve relationships in any context.

Can’t Stay Silent Anymore 📢

Elaine Lin Hering’s, Unlearning Silence is a book worth discussing. Her riveting recount of her own and a diverse spectrum of others’ journeys with silence is personally raw while also being intellectually honest about its origins and impact. Ms. Hering’s book is not for the faint of heart; it’s for those who want to get to the heart of the matter when it comes to how to change systemic “isms” that prevent humanity from being truly unified in our uniqueness. I particularly appreciate how Ms. Hering goes beyond candidly sharing researched-based commentary about the wounds that silencing can create to providing her readers with concrete practical strategies they can use to heal those wounds…personally, organizationally, and societally. If you are wanting to learn how to make change in your spheres of influence, then Unlearning Silence is your ticket to being heard ❤️

how voices get hushed, why silence is chosen, and how to create spaces where people are heard

I liked a new perspective on silence. it's usually lauded. but we miss real human potential. I did not consider how so many are kept from the table