Unidentified Funny Objects 9
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Unidentified Funny Objects 9
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Narrated by:
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Bill Yarbrough
About this listen
The Unidentified Funny Objects series delivers an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices!
In this volume, you'll find:
* Overworked fairies distributing swords.
* Alien yeti slackers.
* Elf bakers.
* Absconded books.
* Superhero dance battles.
* Matchmakers...in spaaace!
This anthology contains the following stories:
The Hero of Small Things by Amanda Saville
Chai Noon by Esther Friesner
If Pages Could Blush by Kyle A. Massa
The Time Loop Device is Counting Down by Beth Goder
Crouching Swan Hidden Polka by Jim C Hines
Sgt. Yeti by Gini Koch
The Great Beyond Commands by John Wiswell
The Second Wish by James Beamon
These Three Aliens Walk into a Bar by Simon R. Green
Our Most Sincere Apologies to the People of Brazil by Jane Espenson
Liability Insurance Policy for Immortals, Cryptids, and Other Magical Beings: Annual Newsletter by Tina Connolly
The Shadchen of Venus by Lavie Tidhar
Cory Sucks by Auston Habershaw
Sunnyside Daycare Employees’ Chat Log, Post Alien Takeover by Amanda Helms
Cooking Up Trouble by C. Flynt
Right to Remain Silent by Jody Lynn Nye
Auntie Elsie’s Compleat Guide to Heartbreak by Tim Pratt
The Troll Bridge by Adam Gaylord
Do Gumshoes Dream of Electric Sleep by Dave Vierling
Hell’s Bureaucracy by David Hankins
A Crisis of Fate by Zach Shephard
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Clovenhoof
- By: Heide Goody, Iain Grant
- Narrated by: Matthew Lloyd Davies
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 511
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 429
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 426
Charged with gross incompetence, Satan is fired from his job as prince of Hell and exiled to that most terrible of places: English suburbia. Forced to live as a human under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof, the dark lord not only has to contend with the fact that no one recognizes him or gives him the credit he deserves but also has to put up with the bookish war-gamer next door and the voracious man-eater upstairs.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This Series Is Phenomenal
- By Marcus on 10-27-19
By: Heide Goody, and others
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Iron & Velvet
- Kate Kane, Paranormal Investigator Series, Book 1
- By: Alexis Hall
- Narrated by: Cat Gould
- Length: 8 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 142
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 124
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 123
Name's Kane, Kate Kane. I'm a paranormal private investigator, which is like a normal private investigator except - and stop me if you're having trouble following this - more paranormal. This business comes with a few basic rules: don't start drinking before noon, don't get your partner killed, don't sleep with the woman who killed him. Last year I broke all of them.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Vampire werewolf witch faerie soft core porn
- By Ralene on 06-01-20
By: Alexis Hall
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Histories
- A Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter Short Story Collection (Quincy Harker Collection)
- By: John G. Hartness
- Narrated by: James Anderson Foster
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 79
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 72
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Story5 out of 5 stars 72
An attack in the dark. The loss of a love. Waking up hung over in a ditch. These are the things that make a hero, especially if that hero is Quincy Harker, immortal wizard, snarky bastard, and general badass. Histories collects two short stories and one short novella giving a peek behind the curtain at the man, the myth, the legend that is Quincy Harker, as well as the origin story of one of his most popular cohorts, Jo Henry.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great for newcomers and Harker fans
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-11-22
By: John G. Hartness
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Unstoppable Liv Beaufont Bundle
- By: Sarah Noffke, Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg
- Length: 34 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 22
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 21
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Story5 out of 5 stars 21
Included in this collection, totaling almost 35 hours of audio, are the following audiobooks: Book One, The Rebellious Sister; Book Two, The Uncooperative Warrior; Book Three, The Defiant Magician; Book Four, The Triumphant Daughter; and Book Five, The Loyal Friend.
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5 out of 5 stars
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So when is the next set in the series coming out?
- By Nita King on 06-19-23
By: Sarah Noffke, and others
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Investigation, Mediation, Vindication
- The Many Travails of John Smith, Book 1
- By: Chris Tullbane
- Narrated by: Joel Richards
- Length: 11 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 59
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 51
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 51
"Investigation, Mediation, Vindication." That's how the Yellow Pages ad starts, and if it sounds like the sort of thing a drunk teenager might come up with . . . well, you'd only be wrong about the teenager part. John Smith owns San Diego's smallest private investigation firm, but he doesn't know the first thing about mediation. Or vindication.
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5 out of 5 stars
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What a surprise find
- By nightmare on 09-29-23
By: Chris Tullbane
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Chronicles of an Urban Druid Boxed Set, Books 1-3
- Chronicles of an Urban Druid Boxed Set, Volume 1
- By: Auburn Tempest, Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Rachel Dulude
- Length: 26 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 29
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 29
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Story5 out of 5 stars 29
I have family I didn't know about, a magical heritage laying its claim, and a mystery I apparently need to solve. But when a back-alley brawl leaves me marked with a bizarre Celtic crest on my back, I become a beacon for all things whacked and weird.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great series
- By Kurt Henkel on 11-18-24
By: Auburn Tempest, and others
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The Hex Files Bundle, Books 1-3
- By: Gina LaManna
- Narrated by: Allyson Ryan
- Length: 25 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 25
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 22
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 22
This bundle includes books 1-3 in the Hex Files series, a fast-paced paranormal mystery series with a kickass heroine, hilarious sidekicks, and an immersive world that will pull you in faster than you can say pizza: Wicked Never Sleeps, Wicked Long Nights, and Wicked State of Mind.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Poorly executed, naration is fine though
- By Annette on 05-04-24
By: Gina LaManna
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Federal Histories Bundle, Books 1-3
- By: Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Jesse Vilinsky
- Length: 68 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 22
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 19
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 19
The future has amazing technology. Our alien allies have magic. Together, we are building a training system to teach the best of humanity to go to the stars. But the training is monumentally expensive. Stephanie Morgana is a genius, she just doesn't know it. Join her on the first half of her adventure with this collected edition, including the first three megabooks in the Federal Histories series.
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1 out of 5 stars
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I see why this series/book has low sales.
- By Rondell on 02-09-24
By: Michael Anderle
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Double Threat
- By: F. Paul Wilson
- Narrated by: Michael Crouch, Stephanie Willing, Rupert Degas
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 72
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 68
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 68
In the southwestern desert, a mysterious cult prays for the return of the Visitors. Only one creature can derail that grand and glorious event: An evil entity, known as the Duad, can keep the Visitors from arriving and prevent the transfiguration to come. Daley, who lives nearby, has a far more serious problem: an alien consciousness that has taken up residence in her head.
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5 out of 5 stars
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So ready to see what's ahead next!
- By Stacy on 10-09-21
By: F. Paul Wilson
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Night Shift
- Night Tales, Book 1
- By: Nora Roberts
- Narrated by: Kate Rudd
- Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,205
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,083
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,072
Her voice was like whiskey, smooth and potent, but it was her contradictions that fascinated Detective Boyd Fletcher - the vulnerability beneath her tough-as-nails facade.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Bad Narrator
- By Skye on 07-12-15
By: Nora Roberts
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The Frame-Up
- The Golden Arrow Mysteries Series, Book 1
- By: Meghan Scott Molin
- Narrated by: Andrea Emmes
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 835
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 756
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Story4 out of 5 stars 751
MG Martin lives and breathes geek culture. She works as a writer for the comic book company she idolized as a kid. But despite her love of hooded vigilantes, MG prefers her comics stay on the page. But when someone in LA starts recreating crime scenes from her favorite comic book, MG is the LAPD’s best - and only - lead. She recognizes the golden arrow left at the scene as the calling card of her favorite comic book hero. The thing is…superheroes aren’t real. Are they? When Detective Kildaire asks for her comic book expertise, MG is more than up for the adventure.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hit or Miss, Saved by the Narrator
- By Dubi on 02-06-19
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Chance of a Lifetime
- A Providence Falls Novel
- By: Jude Deveraux, Tara Sheets
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 222
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 203
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Story4 out of 5 stars 202
In 1844 Ireland, Liam O’Connor, a rogue and a thief, fell madly in love with a squire’s daughter and unwittingly altered the future. Shy and naive Cora McLeod thought Liam was the answer to her prayers. But the angels disagreed and they’ve been waiting for the right moment in time to step in. Now Liam finds himself reunited with his beloved Cora in Providence Falls, North Carolina. The angels have given Liam a task. He must make sure Cora falls in love with another man - the one she was supposed to marry before Liam interfered.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Disappointing
- By bobbiek811 on 09-21-20
By: Jude Deveraux, and others
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Staying Dead
- A Retrievers Novel
- By: Laura Anne Gilman
- Narrated by: Emma Woodbine
- Length: 10 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 224
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 137
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Story4 out of 5 stars 137
As a Retriever, Wren Valere specializes in finding things gone missing - and then bringing them back, no questions asked. Normally her job is stimulating, challenging and only a little bit dangerous. But every once in a while....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Urban Fantasy!
- By Anne on 03-11-09
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To Kill a Mocking Girl
- A Bookbinding Mystery
- By: Harper Kincaid
- Narrated by: Renee Dorian
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 52
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 35
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Story4 out of 5 stars 35
Quinn Victoria Caine is back in her quirky town of Vienna, Virginia, starting her new life as a bookbinder in her family-owned bookshop. With her trusty German Shephard RBG - Ruff Barker Ginsburg - by her side, what can go wrong? Okay, sure, bumping into her ex Scott or her former high-school nemesis Tricia is a drag. It certainly doesn't help that they’ve acquired the new hobby of shoving their recent engagement in her face every chance they get. But that doesn't mean Quinn wanted to find Tricia dead in the road. So why does half the town think she may have done it?
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5 out of 5 stars
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AMAZING NEW COZY SERIES
- By Debbie Lacey on 04-16-20
By: Harper Kincaid
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Witch Slapped
- Witchless in Seattle, Book 1
- By: Dakota Cassidy
- Narrated by: Hollie Jackson
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 906
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 833
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 833
Hello. My name is Stevie Cartwright, and I've been witchless for 30 days. If only there was a support group for down-on-their-luck ex-witches who've had their powers slapped right out of them (literally). Just as I was licking my wounds after returning to my hometown of Ebenezer Falls, Washington, and navigating my suddenly nonmagical existence with the help of my familiar, Belfry, things got sticky. Enter an ex-spy and newly departed spirit named Winterbottom, who's infiltrated my life with his sexy British accent and a couple of requests....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Enjoyed this cozy tremendously!
- By janet on 08-05-16
By: Dakota Cassidy
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Reprieve
- A Novel
- By: James Han Mattson
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 126
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 110
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Story4 out of 5 stars 109
On April 27, 1997, four contestants make it to the final cell of the Quigley House, a full-contact haunted escape room in Lincoln, Nebraska, made famous for its monstrosities, booby-traps, and ghoulishly costumed actors. If the group can endure these horrors without shouting the safe word, “reprieve,” they’ll win a substantial cash prize - a startling feat accomplished only by one other group in the house’s long history. But before they can complete the challenge, a man breaks into the cell and kills one of the contestants.
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4 out of 5 stars
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creepy escape room story
- By Barbara S on 11-18-21
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Serious Moonlight
- By: Jenn Bennett
- Narrated by: Devon Sorvari
- Length: 12 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 52
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 46
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Story4 out of 5 stars 46
Mystery-book aficionado Birdie Lindberg has an overactive imagination. Raised in isolation and homeschooled by strict grandparents, she's cultivated a whimsical fantasy life in which she plays the heroic detective and every stranger is a suspect. But her solitary world expands when she takes a job the summer before college, working the graveyard shift at a historic Seattle hotel. In her new job, Birdie hopes to blossom from introverted dreamer to brave pioneer, and gregarious Daniel Aoki volunteers to be her guide.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great characters wrapped in a mystery inside a romance
- By cheryl anderson on 07-11-19
By: Jenn Bennett
What listeners say about Unidentified Funny Objects 9
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Eva
- 10-20-23
They're funny
Some stories are stronger than others, but overall, they're weird and funny. One is particularly charming because vampires and werewolves can get along.
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