Tweakerworld

A Memoir

By: Jason Yamas

Narrated by: Jason Yamas

Meet Jason: a college educated documentary film producer, cat parent of two, and one of San Francisco’s top drug dealers.

After Jason’s world falls apart in LA, he moves to Berkeley for a fresh start with his kid brother. Just one problem: his long-closeted Adderall addiction has exploded into an out-of-control crystal meth binge. Within weeks, Jason plunges into the sprawling ParTy n’ ’Play subculture of the Bay Area’s gay community. It is a wildly decadent scene of drugs, group sex, and criminals, and yet it is also filled with surprising characters, people who are continually subverting Jason’s own presumptions of the stereotypical tweaker.

Soon Jason becomes a dealer on the pretense of researching this tweaker world for a project that will carry him, like a life raft, back to the shores of a normal life. But his friendly entrepreneurial spirit and trusting disposition disarm clients and rival dealers alike. The money begins to roll in as demand increases to frightening levels. Suddenly, Jason is in control of the entire crystal meth market for San Francisco’s gay community, even as he finds himself nodding off behind the wheel of his car, or walking down the sidewalk. As friends and family work frantically to steer him towards recovery, Jason resists, chasing something else: a sleepless nirvana fueled by sex, drugs, and the Tweakerworld.

With painful honesty, Jason Yamas has crafted a landmark narrative that is not just a personal account of addiction, but a portrait of a vulnerable, largely undocumented community of people who, for many reasons, have been marginalized to the point of invisibility.

©2023 Jason Yamas. (P)2023 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.

Critic reviews

“A vibrant, compelling memoir about gay culture and addiction. Brutally honest and thrillingly told, Tweakerworld shines a light on the dark places shame can lead us and demands we do not turn away. It is only through looking at them that we find a way out.”—JACK PARLETT, Author of Fire Island and The Poetics of Cruising

“Jason is an incredibly talented author who is able to do the masterful: take a story so lived in in its specificities and somehow engineer it so that it feels universal. His is a story both painfully unique, yet one that is dripping with humanity.”—EVAN ROSS KATZ, Writer

“Reading Jason Yamas’s memoir of crystal meth addiction—and, yes, of hope, can itself be a redemptive act. but it is also in some odd even troubling way a pleasure, which one realizes is what it feels like to be addicted.”—KEVIN SESSUMS, Bestselling author of Mississippi Sissy and I Left It On The Mountain

Fantastic story, phenomenal storytelling

I listen to dozens of audiobooks every year, and this was definitely my favorite for this year. The story is wildly entertaining, and Jason‘s style of storytelling is simply awesome. This book offers a deep dive into a world not many are familiar with and also has an important message.

Powerful story!

Having survived my own struggles with meth and GHB, Jason Yamas paints a very real, a very harsh, very painful picture of what this lifestyle consists of. I am glad someone is telling this story!

A friend recommended this to me, and I am glad they did! A must read!

Thank you for sharing your journey, Jason!

An amazing tale of addiction and recovery

I had previously had no knowledge of the meth underworld in queer San Francisco culture. This memoir was eye-opening and instructive.

Tweakerworld

Riveting and powerful but I could not help but be put in mind of A Million Little Pieces when reading. The detail recalled with such specificity (while bombed out of his gourd) gave me a hunch that much of the retelling was an amalgam of memories put together in the best way he could cobble them after the fact. Nonetheless it is a fabulous read and sheds light on a problem of epidemic proportions that is destroying a vibrant community.

just finished, starting again immediately

so, i am bi female but have worked with young addicts in the gay community here in New England. matter fact, the last time i was in rehab when i asked the new man his DOC. when he said meth, i saif, oh, are you gay? im so grateful, as a recovering crack head, to have nevee been able to find meth. i saw this all to relate to the writer, and swallow my fear and ego and pride to relate to those who can relate to this story. i absolutely loved this book. so much i just started it agaij right after finsihing. i have pushing off the last chapter being sad it was almost over. i dont ubderstand why any author wouldnt reas their own book. i love his voic3, his tones, his character voices. his thoughts, stories, and pages kept me feining for more before it was even over. i lived this book and so will anyone else who has an open mind, and appreciates truth, the ability to overcome ones fears to share honesty with others..high recommened. 10 out of 10.

Jason delivers a nice audio performance

Jason Yamas wrote a long and entertaining memoir about his life as a gay PNP-er and drug dealer.

Jason also performed the book on audio, which adds a lot to the writing. He does some entertaining impressions of the characters.

Jason is not really such a good person, but we love him because he is honest and articulate.

[What I mean is that Jason, the narrator, seems to be giving us, the readers, and honest confession of his past life as a dishonest person.]

Most gay men will be able to relate to him. And most addicts will be able to relate to him, too.

Jason also took on some risk by revealing so much of his criminal and embarrassing behavior, and I am grateful to him for that.

Jason, I hope to see you succeed in your creative projects. Thank you for getting your shit together long enough to write this fun book. I wonder if I will read about you relapsing and dying in a car accident some day. Hope not.

love the story!

Loved it! I felt like I devoured this reading! Found myself in the oages, so to speak. Beautiful story!

Such a powerful retelling of the authors addiction!!

Perfect as is - sad but funny, powerful and impactful. I highly recommend this audiobook and am grateful to have been part of the audience.

One of my very best friends passed away because of his own shame in combination with meth addiction.

This is an amazing book. it reminds me so much of my old friend Andrew. He's the funniest person I've ever met! 🧡 I miss you so much 😇

Amazing !

Thanks for the courage to bring all of this to public light, the SF community and the LGBT community is forever grateful.