Trapped in the Mirror

Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self

By: Elan Golomb

Narrated by: Angela Brazil

Length: 11 hrs and 1 min

Publisher's summary

The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways - for example, physical self-loathing that takes the form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Elan Golomb tells us.

With an empathic blend of scholarship and case studies, along with her own personal narrative of her fight for self, Dr. Golomb plumbs the depths of this problem, revealing its mysterious hold on the affairs of otherwise bright, aware, motivated, and worthy people.

Trapped in the Mirror explores:

• The nature of the paralysis and lack of motivation so many adults feel
• Stress and its role in exacerbating childhood wrongs
• Why so many of our relationships seem to be reruns of the past
• How anger must be acknowledged to be overcome
• And, most important, how even the most traumatized self can be healed

©1992 Elan Colomb, PhD (P)2016 Tantor

Life changing!

This book helped me understand the impact my mom’s narcissism had on me, and also how I inadvertently played out the legacy of narcissism while raising my daughter. It also had many helpful suggestions for changing my perspective and behavior going forward. Lots of good examples , some of which I related to. Five stars, in my opinion!!👍

Groundbreaking book!

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I would recommend this book because of the excellent experience and insights of the author. It is an excellent look into the minds and hearts of the children of narcissists.

What does Angela Brazil bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

I love audio books in general because of my busy life. Angela's reading style is unique and I can understand how some might find it difficult but I did not. Angela's diction is excellent and her style of reading helped keep me focused on the content of the book. It helped me think through the word she was saying so that I can integrate the concepts into my life.

Any additional comments?

I'm listening to it a second time already after just finishing it. It is that important to me.

Life changing book.

I loved this book. It was recommended to me by my therapist, and I’m so glad she did. It was very eye opening, deeply personable and relatable. The narrators voice is very clear and soothing. I would recommend this book to those who may have a rocky relationship with their parents or spouses, and to the spouses/siblings of those who choose to read this book as it applies to them.

Frustratingly Insightful

Great narrator, excellent resource for those interested in or exposed to narcissistic behavior. It exposes some of the pitfalls of Western culture and it's tendency to promote and foster narcissism.

spot on for me

one of the better books on the subject IMHO. Extremely helpful in understanding projection of NPD parent onto the child.

too drawn out and dramatic

it's too drawn out and dramatic. not only does this not give you clear information about narcissism in a straight forward way and then provide tales but also the writer randomly throws out that "narcissistic mothers are more common" but fails to state that if women weren't socially conditioned+ pushed to be mothers all the time then those abusive mothers could be something more productive like a manager or a CEO. men show more symptoms of narcissism overall and she failed to state that. she mostly focused on mothers being narcissistic when the fault is purely the idea that "women are made for motherhood" when it's completely false since everyone has their own personality and *gasp* women are people, not robots.

another thing I didn't like about this book is that there's no clear description about narcissism, it's written like a constant play. I could only stand listening to it for 4 hours until I realized that it wasn't actually helping me. It just seems like it was written for entertainment and not to give people help that they need.
I honestly just recommend your average narcissism book. some of these are just so cringey and scenic, like please just get to the point. it's not like I'm entertained by other people's suffering. I only bought the book to cope with the trauma after 10 years of abuse, it's written like fanfiction.

not to mention at the beginning of the book she kept swapping around the pronouns for absolutely no reason, just to prove the point "anyone can be a narcissist". Even when telling the origin of the word narcissist it was about a MAN who was obsessed with his own reflection, the author threw "she" and "her" in there to spice things up when it has no bearing on the original story. the reason it matters is for historical accuracy and it perpetuates the idea that mostly women are narcissistic when we literally have data to suggest that men are more narcissistic. it's like this person had a grudge towards women and ignored all the data we have on the topic.
so yes like I said it's written like flowery fanfiction. listening to it made me cringe, I read books for information I don't read them just to make myself look better, that's basically what this book was.

This book is good for the children of narcissists

This book elegantly describes the effects of being raising by a narcissistic parent. Not only does this book give more than enough examples of what a narcissistic parent may look like it also shines a light on how the children of narcissistic can spot narcissistic behavior in themselves and work on being a better person.

Convoluted

I've read several books on this topic but this one was not as helpful as I'd hoped. The author makes some great points but they are hidden in long meandering narratives. The book is full of weird stories and examples that I don't think most people can relate to. The Narcissistic Family is a better book on this topic. Dont let the fact that it says its written for clinicians scare you away, it's very accessible for those of us interested in learning more about our families of origin and their dysfunction.

A lot of examples

I liked the book and I liked the examples. I just think it could have been shortened because the listening time was 10 hours. I did like the last chapter best and did find it helpful.

Wonderful education!

Give hope for those that have had dealings with narcissistic people. very good overview of this problem