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Too Old for This
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Narrated by:
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Elizabeth Wiley
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By:
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Samantha Downing
About this listen
A retired serial killer’s quiet life is upended by an unexpected visitor. To protect her secret, there’s only one option left—what’s another murder? From bestselling author Samantha Downing.
Lottie Jones thought her crimes were behind her.
Decades earlier, she changed her identity and tucked herself away in a small town. Her most exciting nights are the weekly bingo games at the local church and gossiping with her friends.
When investigative journalist Plum Dixon shows up on her doorstep asking questions about Lottie’s past and specifically her involvement with numerous unsolved cases, well, Lottie just can’t have that.
But getting away with murder is hard enough when you’re young. And when Lottie receives another annoying knock on the door, she realizes this crime might just be the death of her…
©2025 Samantha Downing (P)2025 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Samantha Downing's signature dark humor is cranked up to one hundred in TOO OLD FOR THIS, a whip smart story about a geriatric serial killer who simply wants to settle down. Walker-wielding Lottie Jones is as twisted as they come, and I, for one, will never underestimate the elderly again."—Stacy Willingham, New York Times bestselling author of A Flicker in the Dark
"This riveting story unfolds with heart-pounding suspense, showcasing Downing’s masterful storytelling from start to finish."—Liv Constantine, New York Times Bestselling author of The Next Mrs. Parrish
“This is Downing at her best. Delightfully macabre and so artful that the reader might well root for Lottie, even when she is psychotic to the max. The perfect recommendation for someone looking for something different and extremely entertaining.”—Booklist (starred review)
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- Narrated by: Michelle H. Lee
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 28
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 28
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Story4 out of 5 stars 28
For twenty-four-year-old Jane, finding love in New York City is even harder than making it as a playwright. So when Jane meets Colin, she can’t believe her luck: they’re perfect for each other. Even when Colin breaks off their relationship after six dates, Jane knows this is just a stumbling block. She’ll get him back. She knows she will. That is, until Colin starts dating Zoe—perfect, luminous Zoe. Even worse, she’s actually kind of nice. But Zoe doesn’t have what it takes to love Colin. All Jane has to do is prove it, and they’ll be so happy together.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good twisty thriller
- By Amanda Corkum on 06-04-25
By: Olivia Worley
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With a Vengeance
- A Novel
- By: Riley Sager
- Narrated by: Erin Bennett
- Length: 10 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 208
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 202
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 202
In 1942, six people destroyed Anna Matheson’s family. Twelve years later, she’s ready for retribution. Under false pretenses, Anna has lured those responsible for her family’s downfall onto a luxury train from Philadelphia to Chicago, an overnight journey of thirteen hours. Her goal? Confront the people who’ve wronged her, get them to confess their crimes, and deliver them into the hands of authorities waiting at the end of the line. Justice will at last be served. But Anna’s plan is quickly derailed by the murder of one of the passengers.
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3 out of 5 stars
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The performance was the best part.
- By Michele on 07-07-25
By: Riley Sager
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She Didn't Stand a Chance
- A Novel
- By: Stacie Grey
- Narrated by: Linda Jones
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Gertie hasn't seen her siblings since she was a toddler. Now, she's back at the family home she barely remembers, summoned there to witness the reading of her father's will. Shockingly, Gertie stands to inherit a substantial portion of the family business and her father's prized Palm Springs home. And no one is more surprised—and angry—about Gertie's inclusion in the will than her sisters and brothers.
By: Stacie Grey
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Not Quite Dead Yet
- A Novel
- By: Holly Jackson
- Narrated by: Alex McKenna
- Length: 14 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
In seven days Jet Mason will be dead. Jet is the daughter of one of the wealthiest families in Woodstock, Vermont. Twenty-seven years old, she’s still waiting for her life to begin. I’ll do it later, she always says. She has time. Until Halloween night, when Jet is violently attacked by an unseen intruder. She suffers a catastrophic head injury. The doctor is certain that within a week, the injury will trigger a deadly aneurysm.
By: Holly Jackson
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The Wasp Trap
- A Novel
- By: Mark Edwards
- Length: 10 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Six friends reunite in London to celebrate the life of their recently deceased ex-employer, a professor that brought them together in 1999 to help build a dating website based on psychological testing. But what is meant to be a night of bittersweet nostalgia soon becomes a twisted and deadly game. The old friends are given an ultimatum: reveal their darkest secrets to the group or pick each other off one-by-one. It soon becomes clear that their current predicament is related to their shared past.
By: Mark Edwards
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You Belong Here
- A Novel
- By: Megan Miranda
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Beckett Bowery never thought she’d return to Wyatt Valley, a picturesque college town in the Virginia mountains steeped in tradition. Her roots there were strong: Beckett’s parents taught at the college, and she never even imagined studying anywhere else—until a tragedy her senior year ended with two local men dead, and her roommate on the run, never to be seen again…
By: Megan Miranda
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High Season
- A Novel
- By: Katie Bishop
- Length: 11 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
On a beautiful summer’s night twenty years ago, troubled seventeen-year-old Tamara Drayton was found floating face-down in the pool of her family’s idyllic mansion in the south of France, leaving her twin brother, golden-boy Blake, to pick up the pieces of their shattered family.
By: Katie Bishop
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Our Last Resort
- A Novel
- By: Clémence Michallon
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Frida and Gabriel arrive seeking a fresh start at the stunning Ara Hotel in the secluded desert of Escalante, Utah. Once so close they were able to finish each other’s sentences, they’ve grown apart in recent years after a sudden, unspeakable tragedy. Now, at the luxe resort, they are ready to reconnect between dips in the pool and hikes on spectacular desert trails. It all feels like paradise—until the dead body of a beautiful young woman who was vacationing at the Ara with her powerful, much older husband is discovered.
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Woman in Suite 11
- A Novel
- By: Ruth Ware
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 15 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
When the invitation to attend the press opening of a luxury Swiss hotel—owned by reclusive billionaire Marcus Leidmann—arrives, it’s like the answer to a prayer. Three years after the birth of her youngest child, Lo Blacklock is ready to reestablish her journalism career, but post-pandemic travel journalism is a very different landscape from the one she left ten years ago.
By: Ruth Ware