Tightwads and Spendthrifts

Navigating the Money Minefield in Real Relationships

By: Scott Rick

Narrated by: Stacy Carolan

A revolutionary guide to navigating the financial aspects of real relationships

Have you ever asked yourself “What if I’m a tightwad and my significant other is a spendthrift?” or vice versa? Scott Rick, a behavioral scientist at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business, knows that many people do. He also knows that the financial aspects of an intimate relationship can become a money minefield if couples try to navigate it without first discussing all of the financial issues between them, especially if those two people have different approaches to spending.

Tightwads and Spendthrifts is a science-based guide to understanding and transforming how we manage money, both on our own and in relationships. Building on his original research, and surveying a vast body of interdisciplinary work, Tightwads and Spendthrifts will help you understand your own financial psychology and how it plays out in your relationships. Can tightwads and spendthrifts live together in harmony? Rick says “yes,” but not without first asking hard questions about whose opinion should count most when making a financial decision. After all of the issues have been aired, he tells listeners how to create a game plan for navigating financial decision making that both Tightwads and Spendthrifts can rely on for a happy life together.

A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.

©2024 Scott Rick (P)2024 Macmillan Audio

Critic reviews

"Scott Rick has been studying couples and money for years. Tightwads and Spendthrifts is a masterfully researched unpacking of how money frames our relationships. It makes for remarkably compelling reading for anyone in a marriage—or approaching marriage—because it forces us to think about why we do what we do. It is essential reading for anyone who wants to understand why we spend what we spend, and maybe how to make those tough conversations a little easier."—Lizzie O’Leary, the Host of What Next:TDB at Slate and columnist for Wealthsimple

“Tightwads and Spendthrifts is an essential primer for anyone seeking guidance on how to think about or approach the fraught topic of money between spouses, parents and children, or friends. Scott Rick looks at the plentiful research literature on money management and relationships, and distills it to its often surprising essence. A fascinating, interesting and thought provoking read.”—Helaine Olen, author of Pound Foolish and co-author of The Index Card

“We promise to have and to hold for richer or poorer, but nobody’s ever taught us how. Even among loving spouses who earn good incomes, navigating money issues can be fraught, even toxic. Finally, in Tightwads and Spendthrifts, we have the essential guide to achieving monetary peace with our spouse or life partner. In lucid and compelling prose, Scott Rick offers an engaging tour through the science of spending and saving, gifts and secrets. With each chapter, we are positioned for a deeper connection with our beloved.”—Eli J. Finkel, author of The All-or-Nothing Marriage

Find the podcast instead

This audio version is of limited use without any PDF accompaniments. The rating scale is difficult to score on paper, impossible when listening. And the appendix is useless in its current form. I suggest reading the paper edition instead.

If you appreciate a research backed approach to making relationship decisions, and you are looking for insights on just one specific topic, then you will appreciate this book. It’s an excellent source to reference when figuring out if you should merge bank accounts with your spouse. It also offers a good jumping off point for couples to discuss who should make which financial decisions in a marriage and why, although the recommendations are based on personal opinion instead of research or data.

The author clearly has a bias towards the benefits of spendthrifts, downplaying how catastrophic the extreme form of this trait can be for families and oddly overemphasizing how sad the life of the tightwad is, without any solid data to back that conclusion up.

There is also a glaring lack of data regarding how many people are spendthrifts, how many are tightwads, or how many people are what he defines as “unconflicted consumers” in the general population. And these mysterious people in the middle get almost no discussion at all. Imagine if a study looked at anxious/avoidant relationships in all their variations except in pairings with securely attached partners. That’s a huge blind spot in his research.

This book would benefit from a more developed discussion of how to negotiate the big financial issues that come up in a marriage and less on the readers digest style discussion of how to pick out the perfect gift for your spouse.

Oddly, the book apologizes for not having enough data to make recommendations to homosexual couples (only 1% of the US population) while virtually ignoring stepfamilies (who make up as much as 40% of couples with children), who struggle with incredibly complex financial issues.

Overall, this book feels like an undergraduate research project mishmashed with a couple of pop psychology articles and intended to convince his wife to let him buy the kids a pair of Nikes so they will have friends.

It’s a shame. There is potential here and a better editor would have addressed these flaws long before publication. I hope Rick writes a much better follow up.

I listened to his interview on the Reimagining Love podcast and really enjoyed learning about his research. I suggest you just listen to that and count yourself lucky to have saved a few hours of your time.