Those Bastards
69 Essays on Life, Creativity, & Meaning
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Those Bastards
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Narrated by:
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L.J. Ganser
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By:
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Jared Dillian
About this listen
What happens to us after we die? Why does pornography ruin everything? Why should you never wear cargo shorts? What are the keys to a successful marriage? Why do some people commit suicide, but others don’t?
This sparkling collection of essays sets out to answer these questions and more.
With empathy, curiosity, and candor, Jared Dillian dives headlong into the central questions of existence with eyes wide open, observing life in a way that only he can.
Alternately funny and sad, Those Bastards takes you on an emotional roller coaster, drawing heavily on Dillian’s experience with debilitating mental illness and his professional failures, and overflowing with sharp critiques on music and culture. He moves effortlessly from topic to topic, in one essay riffing on how to use Twitter with honesty and integrity, and in another, describing his experience at the World Trade Center on 9/11.
Those Bastards is a literary sensation, filled with insights on what it means to be human, struggling in a world of uncertainty.
©2023 Seven Cats Press (P)2023 Seven Cats PressListeners also enjoyed...
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By: Hugh MacLeod
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Your Turn
- How to Be an Adult
- By: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Narrated by: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Length: 20 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 74
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 59
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 58
What does it mean to be an adult? In the 20th century, psychologists came up with five markers of adulthood: finish your education, get a job, leave home, marry, and have children. Since then, every generation has been held to those same markers. Yet so much has changed about the world and living in it since that sequence was formulated. All of those markers are choices, and they’re all valid, but any one person’s choices along those lines do not make them more or less an adult.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Not the book that was advertised
- By M. Rogers on 04-13-21
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Leap
- Leaving a Job with No Plan B to Find the Career and Life You Really Want
- By: Tess Vigeland
- Narrated by: Tess Vigeland
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 136
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 125
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 122
Until recently Tess Vigeland was a longtime host of public radio's Marketplace. It was a rewarding, high-status job, and Tess was very good at it - but she'd begun to feel restless. Without any definite, clear sense of what she wanted to do next (but an absolute certainty that what she'd been doing was no longer truly satisfying), she walked away from her dream job and into a vast unknown. Suddenly she was no longer " Marketplace's Tess Vigeland"; she was just Tess Vigeland.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Everything Mrs Vigeland says is true, but ...
- By Claude on 10-10-15
By: Tess Vigeland
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A Very Punchable Face
- A Memoir
- By: Colin Jost
- Narrated by: Colin Jost
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 9,739
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,417
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8,362
If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost
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Often Wrong, Never in Doubt
- Unleash the Business Rebel Within
- By: Donny Deutsch, Peter Knobler
- Narrated by: Peter Knobler
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 89
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 29
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Story4 out of 5 stars 28
Often Wrong, Never in Doubt is an inspirational book from one of America's most colorful and exciting entrepreneurs. Donny Deutsch lays out the core principles that propelled him to create tremendous wealth, build a huge and influential business, and become a national personality.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Deutsch is cool!
- By Michael on 10-27-05
By: Donny Deutsch, and others
-
How to Be a Man
- (and Other Illusions)
- By: Duff McKagan
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 236
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 217
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 218
Duff McKagan is one of the most respected survivors in hard rock. In How to Be a Man, he shares the wisdom he gained on the path to superstardom - from his time with Guns N' Roses and Velvet Revolver to getting sober after a life of hard living to achieving his personal American dream of marrying a supermodel, raising a family, and experiencing what it's like to be winked at by Prince.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
Overly dramatic reader.
- By CB on 01-07-17
By: Duff McKagan
-
It's Your Move
- My Million Dollar Method for Taking Risks with Confidence and Succeeding at Work and Life
- By: Josh Altman
- Narrated by: Josh Altman
- Length: 6 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 457
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 398
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 394
Josh "the Shark" Altman has achieved extraordinary success in a traditional industry and in the most competitive real estate market in the country - all without being "discovered" or catching the proverbial big break. He worked for it. He figured it out. He failed. He learned. He wrote his own script. The key to his success? Confidence - informed, intelligent, calculated confidence. Calculated confidence means training yourself in your chosen field, knowing it so well that you can trust your gut instincts to guide you toward the best possible option.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Overall a good book but recommend a title change
- By Reginald on 06-19-18
By: Josh Altman
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Things No One Else Can Teach Us
- Turning Losses into Lessons
- By: Humble the Poet
- Narrated by: Humble the Poet
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 284
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 247
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 244
Every one of us endures setbacks, disappointments, and failures that can incapacitate us. But we don’t have to let them. Instead, we can use these events as opportunities for growth. In Things No One Else Can Teach Us, Humble the Poet flips the conventional script for happiness and success, showing us how our most painful experiences can be our greatest teachers.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
HTP’S STORY AND LESSONS LEARNED
- By jaga on 11-04-19
By: Humble the Poet
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The Power of Being Yourself
- A Game Plan for Success by Putting Passion into Your Life and Work
- By: Joe Plumeri
- Narrated by: Joe Plumeri, Joseph A. Califano Jr.
- Length: 4 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 60
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 52
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 52
Everyone imagines top CEOs as larger-than-life figures who do things no one else could. But deep down every good business leader is an everyman who combines vision and high energy with the ability to connect with all types of people and learn from them
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5 out of 5 stars
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Go Play in Traffic!
- By Teri Gasper on 01-03-18
By: Joe Plumeri
-
The Perfect Day to Boss Up
- A Hustler's Guide to Building Your Empire
- By: Rick Ross, Neil Martinez-Belkin - contributor
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 4 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 225
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 197
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 197
Rick Ross is a hip-hop icon and a towering figure in the business world, but his path to success was not always easy. Despite adversity and setbacks, Ross held tight to his vision and never settled for anything less than greatness. Now, for the first time, he shares his secrets to success, offering his own life as a road map to listeners looking to build their own empire.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Boss Up
- By Daniel R. on 10-02-22
By: Rick Ross, and others
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America 3:16
- By: Graham Allen
- Narrated by: Graham Allen
- Length: 5 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 187
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 172
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 172
What’s the biggest threat to America today? Why are gun rights human rights? And why do so many Christians behave in such un-Christian ways? Graham Allen has the answers. With over two billion views online, the social media star has given a voice to those who feel silenced by the mainstream media and pop culture. Now, with America 3:16, Graham shares a deeper look at the life events that shaped his philosophy on Christianity, politics, family, and country.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Well written and read
- By Sterling Silver Magnolia on 01-02-21
By: Graham Allen
-
This Is Not a Fashion Story
- Taking Chances, Breaking Rules, and Being a Boss in the Big City
- By: Danielle Bernstein
- Narrated by: Danielle Bernstein
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 339
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 288
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 286
Danielle Bernstein spent her youth shopping at discount department stores, getting boozy in suburban backyards, and proposing marriage to every boy she dated. By age 19, she was a college dropout living in a West Village shoebox with three roommates and only six months to prove that her blog, @WeWoreWhat, could become a full blown career...or else board the train back to her mom's house. This Is Not a Fashion Story is the down and dirty tale of how a Long Island-born teenager became one of the most recognizable names in fashion.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Waste of time
- By Leena on 05-18-20
-
The Todd Glass Situation
- A Bunch of Lies about My Personal Life and a Bunch of True Stories about My 30-Year Career in Standup Comedy
- By: Todd Glass, Jonathan Grotenstein
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 68
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 59
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 59
Growing up in a Philadelphia suburb in the 1970s was an easy life. Well, easy as long as you didn't have dyslexia or ADD, or were a Jew. And once you added gay into the mix, life became more difficult. So Todd Glass decided to hide the gay part, no matter how comic, tragic, or comically tragic the results. Now, Todd has written an open, honest, and hilarious memoir in an effort to help everyone - young and old, gay and straight - breathe a little more freely.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Worth It
- By Heather on 11-17-14
By: Todd Glass, and others
-
Wanna Bet?
- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 359
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 323
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 320
The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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5 out of 5 stars
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who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
By: Artie Lange
-
The Art of the Pimp
- One Man's Search for Love, Sex, and Money
- By: Dennis Hof
- Narrated by: Kevin Stillwell
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 123
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 112
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 112
Dennis Hof, proprietor of the world-famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel and the P.T. Barnum of prostitution, charts his path to fame and infamy, while dispensing homespun wisdom about sex, sales, money, and how to live as the country's most recognizable pimp. In The Art of the Pimp, Dennis Hof offers a hilarious, insightful, behind-the-scenes look at life as the proprietor of The Moonlight Bunny Ranch, the world's most famous legal brothel, and recounts his chaotic life.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
if you love the sex industry then yell love this
- By Amazon Customer on 11-28-17
By: Dennis Hof
-
Lose Well
- By: Chris Gethard
- Narrated by: Chris Gethard
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 388
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 339
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 341
Let’s face it: we all want a seat at the cool table, a great job, and loads of money. But most of us won’t be able to achieve this widely accepted, black-or-white, definition of winning, which makes us feel like failures, that we’re destined to a life of loserdom. That’s the conventional wisdom. It’s also crap, according to comedian and cult hero Chris Gethard, who knows a thing of two about losing. Failing is an art form, he argues; in fact, it’s the only the way we’re ever going to discover who we are, what we really want, and how to live the kind of life we only dreamed about.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
WHAT A LOSER
- By Amazon Customer on 01-26-19
By: Chris Gethard
-
Crash and Burn
- By: Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,211
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,082
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,083
At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
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3 out of 5 stars
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
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How to Disappear is a unique and exhilarating accomplishment, overturning the dangerous modern assumption that somehow fame and visibility equate to success and happiness. Busch presents a field guide to invisibility, reacquainting us with the merits of remaining inconspicuousness, and finding genuine alternatives to a life of perpetual exposure. Accessing timeless truths in order to speak to our most urgent contemporary problems, she inspires us to develop a deeper appreciation for personal privacy in a vast and intrusive world.
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In the heart of the South Pacific lies Point Nemo, the most desolate and remote place on Earth. At its core is a dead zone, devoid of life, where government agencies crash their obsolete satellites and space stations, confident they won't harm a soul. When the International Space Station suffers a catastrophic failure and plummets through the atmosphere, it's here that Mission Specialist Julie Rohr, an astrobiologist studying living space dust called xylem, finds herself marooned. Julie's only hope for rescue lies in the hands of her estranged father, Dr. Finn Maddern, a renowned mycologist.
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For her clients and everyone who has been inspired by her humanity, Alua Arthur is a friend at the end of the world. As our country’s leading death doula, she’s spreading a transformative message: thinking about your death—whether imminent or not—will breathe wild, new potential into your life. Warm, generous, and funny AF, Alua supports and helps manage end-of-life care on many levels. The business matters, medical directives, memorial planning; but also honoring the quiet moments, when monitors are beeping and loved ones have stepped out to get some air.
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By: Alua Arthur
What listeners say about Those Bastards
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Joanna
- 05-19-23
Hard won life stories from a gritty storyteller
Jared is a survivor- he has made it through quite a few stormy passages with including the bad luck of being at ground zero on 9/11 and the good luck of not dying there.
He is willing to share the gory details of his own struggles with a distinct voice.
And narrator JL Ganzer delivers as always.
Unfortunately Dillian’s novel “All the Evil of this World” is still not available on Audible, but I would pay several credits for the privilege.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Steven Richter
- 06-28-23
Great book to listen to
My only wish is that you narrated it yourself! Big fan of the podcast and your Twitter
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tlc
- 09-18-23
Outstanding
This is in my top 5 books ever listened to. I loved it. So many of the essays hit home for me.
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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- DekinBluze
- 06-08-23
Awful
What’s worse than being with a gigantic ego who isn’t nearly as smart as he thinks he is? Listening to his life advice. Terrible
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