This Is How It Always Is

A Novel

By: Laurie Frankel

Narrated by: Gabra Zackman

“Every once in a while, I discover a book that opens my eyes in a way I never expected. This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel has done just that. It's a story about family: childhood, parenthood, and the sometimes-heartbreaking decisions that come with it. As a mother, this story absolutely tore at my heartstrings. I can’t wait for you to listen to it!" x Reese

This is how a family keeps a secret...and how that secret ends up keeping them.

This is how a family lives happily ever after...until happily ever after becomes complicated.

This is how children change...and then change the world.

When Rosie and Penn and their four boys welcome the newest member of their family, no one is surprised it's another baby boy. At least their large, loving, chaotic family knows what to expect.

But Claude is not like his brothers. One day he puts on a dress and refuses to take it off. He wants to bring a purse to kindergarten. He wants hair long enough to sit on. When he grows up, Claude says, he wants to be a girl.

Rosie and Penn aren't panicked at first. Kids go through phases, after all, and make-believe is fun. But soon the entire family is keeping Claude's secret. Until one day it explodes.

Laurie Frankel's This Is How It Always Is is an audiobook about revelations, transformations, fairy tales, and family. And it's about the ways this is how it always is: Change is always hard and miraculous and hard again; parenting is always a leap into the unknown with crossed fingers and full hearts; children grow but not always according to plan. And families with secrets don't get to keep them forever.

©2017 Laurie Frankel (P)2017 Macmillan Audio

Critic reviews

2017, "Amazon.com Best Books of the Year", Long-listed

2018, "Reese's Book Club x Hello Sunshine", Long-listed

Great.. for the most part..

I loved the beginning of this book. The character development. The story felt current and plausible. In fact, I enjoyed all of the book until the last hour or so.
I thought the Thailand trip was a bit ridiculous and it felt like a super rushed way to END the book. How I wish it had a better ending. I wish she had dug in, like she did with the rest of the book. Tying up all the ends seems like a short cut and I finished feeling mostly dissatisfied.

Excellent performance

If you could sum up This Is How It Always Is in three words, what would they be?

thoughtful, warm, meaningful

What other book might you compare This Is How It Always Is to and why?

Other books about families

Which scene was your favorite?

Thailand

Who was the most memorable character of This Is How It Always Is and why?

Poppy

Any additional comments?

This is a great performance. She brings all the characters to life for you.

Simply incredible.

This is such an honest & touching story. Not only are the characters relatable and genuine and the plot so relevant right now, but the patience, empathy & understanding that’s shown throughout is truly beautiful. I could not stop listening to this book. It’s a must-read, hands-down.

Wonderful story

The story was great, playful and deep all at the same time. The narration sometimes seemed to speed up making it seem odd, but that was easy to ignore, since the story was so entertaining. I did not want the book to end.

For Our Time

This is such a sweet and powerful story about gender identity. You need to read this.

Not what I expected

Beautifully written with creative descriptions that uniquely captured messages sent. I couldn’t have predicted the outcome. This provoked me to think in broader terms about life’s problems.

Loved this book.

Loved the characters, the writing, Thailand!
Wish every book was this interesting! Wish there was a search for this type of story!

Held my interest

It was an interesting novel on a subject I don’t know much about—growing up on a confusing body. The novel held my attention on a long car ride.

This is How it Always is

It was almost eerie, that within just a few beats it this book one could have curiosities so aroused. The narrator promised to be superb.

Heartwarming

It has been a long time since a story touched me like this did. I work with transgender youth and the way this was told was beautiful.