The Witless Protection Program
A Catering Hall Mystery
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The Witless Protection Program
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Narrated by:
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Devon Sorvari
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By:
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Maria DiRico
About this listen
Mia Carina has steered her Italian-American family's Astoria, Queens catering hall into becoming the borough's premiere party site, and nothing could make her happier—except her boyfriend proposing. There's just one presumed-dead obstacle in the way.
A strong, independent woman and respected entrepreneur, Mia never imagined she'd pine for a marriage proposal. Yet lately, with her beloved Shane, she's on tenterhooks. It's especially surprising, considering Mia's first husband, Adam, was a philandering grifter, assumed lost-at-sea after a boating disaster. But everyone knows what happens when you assume.
While working a huge wedding expo in Manhattan, Mia is shocked to spot the man who nearly destroyed her life. The one who's supposed to be sleeping with the fishes. But she loses him in the crowd. And when it happens again the next day, it's time for an emergency meeting with the family-and the Family. Because if Adam is alive, Mia is still married.
Everyone wants Adam dead. Everyone except Mia. She's dealt with enough police for a lifetime. Mia needs to be a divorcee, not a widow. But someone out there disagrees, and if Mia doesn't discover who, she may never be free to marry Shane.
©2024 Ellen Byron (P)2024 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,529
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,501
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,501
After the killing of a prominent mob lawyer, NYPD homicide detectives Jacob Jackson and Caitlin Grimes start receive chilling, written “rules” for how to commit the perfect murder. "Rule number one for the perfect murder: Evidence is your enemy. Leave none behind." Jackson (Reid Scott) and Grimes (Cobie Smulders) race to find the killer, setting them on a collision course with the city’s crime underbelly, and a perpetrator who seems happy to toy with them. “Rule number two. No crimes of passion. The perfect murder is always business, never pleasure.”
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Tricky
- By Robert Scott Read on 10-30-24
By: James Patterson, and others
-
The Mysterious Affair at Styles
- By: Agatha Christie, Anna Lea - adaptation
- Narrated by: Peter Dinklage, Himesh Patel, Harriet Walter, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 355
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 349
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 349
England, 1914. The world is at war. Captain Hastings, injured and shaken, is invited to Styles Court to recover. It’s a grand old country house - the family home of his old friend - and a perfect haven. Or so it seems. But in the blistering summer heat, trouble is afoot. Simmering tensions are tearing the family apart, and it all comes to a head in the most horrifying way.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
It’s a perfect audible movie!
- By Malissa Caudell on 11-15-24
By: Agatha Christie, and others
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The Woman in Coach D
- By: Sarah A. Denzil
- Narrated by: Katie Clarkson-Hill
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 682
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 670
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Story4 out of 5 stars 670
Jenny sits in the same seat on the same train every week, seeing familiar faces come and go. Until a chance encounter shatters her world. Sixteen years ago, Jenny survived a traumatic ordeal that left her best friend, Susie, missing and presumed dead. The world has its theories about what happened to Susie Patterson, and one of those theories points the finger at Jenny. Now she lives a quiet life, volunteering at a crisis helpline while trying to deal with her own anxiety and the true crime fans obsessed with finding her missing friend.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
Too long
- By Anonymous User on 11-15-24
By: Sarah A. Denzil
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Verity
- By: Colleen Hoover
- Narrated by: Vanessa Johansson, Amy Landon
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 125,090
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 110,307
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 110,173
Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of best-selling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish. Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity's notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn't expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
intriguing but skip if triggered by child abuse
- By Amazon Customer on 05-16-19
By: Colleen Hoover
-
George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8,065
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 7,676
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 7,675
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
-
7 Hours to Die
- By: James Patterson, Duane Swierczynski
- Narrated by: Sarah Paulson, Patina Miller, Mel Rodriguez, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 25 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 758
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 697
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 697
Kidnappers grabbed Jenna in broad daylight, right in front of her children and their horrified classmates. Her family was issued an insane ransom demand: $25 million in cash and jewels, payable by the end of the school day, otherwise they’ll never see her again. As Jenna’s mother scrambles to gather the money, detectives Mo Butler and George Ortega follow the trail of the kidnappers, which will lead them through a sordid landscape of jealous lovers, broken dreamers, and twisted schemers. But every second counts, and there’s one thing Jenna Wade doesn’t have: very much time.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
This was such a fun Quick listen
- By Mdc on 10-08-24
By: James Patterson, and others
-
Dead Med
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Patricia Santomasso, Scott Merriman
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 762
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 743
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 743
When Heather McKinley dreamed of becoming a doctor, she imagined curing sick kids and sporting pink stethoscopes. She never anticipated the sleepless nights, grueling exams, and endless labs. And she certainly never knew that her medical school earned the nickname Dead Med thanks to the tragic history of students overdosing on illegal drugs. But Heather would never consider doing anything like that. That is, until her longtime boyfriend dumps her, she finds herself failing anatomy, and her world starts to crumble.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
Hmm
- By Morgan Meaux on 08-22-24
By: Freida McFadden
-
The Ex
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Nicol Zanzarella
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,003
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,833
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,825
Cassie thinks she has met the perfect man. Joel is sweet, handsome, romantic, and best of all, he’s crazy about Cassie. She thinks she’s found the guy she’ll spend the rest of her life with. Have children with. Grow old with. Yes, she knows about his perfect ex-girlfriend, Francesca. The beautiful, brilliant chef, beloved by all his friends. But she thinks Francesca is out of the picture. She thinks Francesca is gone for good. Think again, Cassie.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Too bizarre for someone who loves bizarre
- By G. C. Webster on 07-01-22
By: Freida McFadden
-
Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 94,512
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 86,519
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 86,317
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
-
The Married Man
- By: K.L. Slater
- Narrated by: Clare Corbett
- Length: 9 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 175
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 167
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 167
Everyone thinks my husband is dead. Just like we planned. Eleven years ago, my husband disappeared. Eleven long hard years I waited, my heart breaking for our son, who didn’t know his father was coming back. Today, my hands shake as I try to understand what I’ve just learned: my husband has a new wife. This wasn’t part of our plan. Eleven years ago, my husband made a terrible mistake. I sacrificed everything to help him fix it. But now he’s put our son and me in danger again. We had a plan. He broke the rules. But who will pay the price?
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
K.L. Slater and Clare Corbett – riveting Tango!
- By Karenique on 11-11-24
By: K.L. Slater
-
Too Late
- Definitive Edition
- By: Colleen Hoover
- Narrated by: Ryan Gray, Maxine Mitchell, Joe Arden
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,990
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,838
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,833
Sloan will go through hell and back for those she loves. And she does so, every single day. Caught up with the alluring Asa Jackson, a notorious drug trafficker, Sloan has finally found a lifeline to cling to, even if it’s meant compromising her morals. She was in dire straits trying to pay for her brother’s care until she met Asa. But as Sloan became emotionally and economically reliant on him, he in turn developed a disturbing obsession with her—one that becomes increasingly dangerous every day.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Triggering and poor narration
- By Katherine Epperson on 07-11-23
By: Colleen Hoover
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These characters
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To Dye For
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5 out of 5 stars
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5 stars
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Billy Blessing, owner of the popular Manhattan restaurant Blessing’s Bistro, is a regular contributor on the morning news show, Wake Up, America! Now he’s creating a fresh cooking competition show, but finds himself clashing with Rudy Gallagher, the executive producer. Things get heated in the newsroom, and after exchanging some sharp words, both Billy and Rudy walk away feeling burned.
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Enjoyable book
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Maddie Baker just wants to make ends meet. She gave up her school librarian career to return to her hometown and take care of her elderly aunt. So when she starts making Uber runs to supplement her barista job, she never dreamt she’d not only drop a man off to his murder but be labeled a person of interest in his death. Detective Noah Langley is looking for a fresh start in a city with a lower crime rate and a fraction of the population of Memphis. It’s just what he needs to recover from a nightmare that left him severely injured and his teenage mentee dead.
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- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 523
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 480
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 480
Follow Mae West as she searches for clues to bring killers to justice in this Campers and Criminals Cozy Mystery bundle.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Maybe it's a Southern thing
- By UpAndAway on 09-02-21
By: Tonya Kappes
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Murder on Cape Cod
- Cozy Capers Book Group Mystery, Book 1
- By: Maddie Day
- Narrated by: Rachel Dulude
- Length: 7 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 502
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 445
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Story4 out of 5 stars 441
Summer is busy season for Mackenzie "Mac" Almeida's bicycle shop, nestled in the quaint, seaside hamlet of Westham, Massachusetts. She's expecting an influx of tourists at Mac's Bikes; instead she discovers the body of Jake Lacey. Mac can't imagine anyone stabbing the down-on-his-luck handyman. However, the authorities seem to think Mac is a strong suspect after she was spotted arguing with Jake just hours before his death. Mac knows she didn't do it, but she does recognize the weapon - her brother Derrick's fishing knife.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Save Your Credit
- By DKP on 06-24-22
By: Maddie Day
What listeners say about The Witless Protection Program
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tonya C
- 11-18-24
Can't wait.
The weddings seem like it would happen and then it does with a bang. Can't wait for the next book.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 08-10-24
So good!
I wish this were a 25 book series! I love the writing, the narration, everything!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Keenan
- 04-09-24
Laugh Out Loud Funny
I love how the author intertwines a mystery plot with Mia's love life, her business, and New York City Italian culture. It's a delightful romp of a story that kept me guessing, made me laugh, and made me cry.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Holly
- 04-03-24
Another great one
I have loved this entire series. A nice cozy Murder mystery full of fun, laughs, and family.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Melissa A Timko
- 07-30-24
Excellent narration
Fun book and a great one to end the series with. Returning characters help create the wedding of the century and keep the laughs coming. An unexpected murder that makes everyone a suspect, along with creative wedding planning, keeps this story exciting & hilarious. The narration is excellent. If I wrote a book, I would hire her to read it.
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