The Way I Used to Be
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The Way I Used to Be
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Narrated by:
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Rebekkah Ross
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By:
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Amber Smith
About this listen
In the tradition of Speak, this extraordinary debut novel “is a poignant book that realistically looks at the lasting effects of trauma on love, relationships, and life” (School Library Journal, starred review).
Eden was always good at being good. Starting high school didn’t change who she was. But the night her brother’s best friend rapes her, Eden’s world capsizes.
What was once simple, is now complex. What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true, is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened but she can’t. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be.
Told in four parts—freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year—this provocative debut reveals the deep cuts of trauma. But it also demonstrates one young woman’s strength as she navigates the disappointment and unbearable pains of adolescence, of first love and first heartbreak, of friendships broken and rebuilt, all while learning to embrace the power of survival she never knew she had hidden within her heart.
©2023 Amber Smith (P)2023 Spotify AudiobooksListeners also enjoyed...
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-
Story4 out of 5 stars 3,164
Samantha Kingston has it all: the world's most crush-worthy boyfriend, three amazing best friends, and first pick of everything at Thomas Jefferson High—from the best table in the cafeteria to the choicest parking spot. Friday, February 12, should be just another day in her charmed life. Instead, it turns out to be her last. Then she gets a second chance. Seven chances, in fact.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Beautiful.
- By Penny on 03-20-10
By: Lauren Oliver
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A List of Cages
- By: Robin Roe
- Narrated by: Graham Halstead, Christopher Gebauer
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 261
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 234
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 234
When Adam Blake lands the best elective ever in his senior year, serving as an aide to the school psychologist, he thinks he's got it made. Sure, it means a lot of sitting around, which isn't easy for a guy with ADHD, but he can't complain, since he gets to spend the period texting all his friends. Then the doctor asks him to track down the troubled freshman who keeps dodging her, and Adam discovers that the boy is Julian - the foster brother he hasn't seen in five years.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Heart wrenching!
- By Heather Shaver on 02-28-18
By: Robin Roe
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Cracked Up to Be
- By: Courtney Summers
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 105
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 81
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Story4 out of 5 stars 81
Perfect Parker Fadley isn't so perfect anymore. She's quit the cheerleading squad, she's dumped her perfect boyfriend, and she's failing school. Her parents are on a constant suicide watch and her counselors think she's playing games, but they don't know that the real reason for this whole mess isn't something she can say out loud. It isn't even something she can say to herself. A horrible thing has happened and it just might be her fault.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The best book I've ever read
- By Sam on 11-11-15
By: Courtney Summers
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Side Effects May Vary
- By: Julie Murphy
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell, Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 94
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 84
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 85
When 16-year-old Alice is diagnosed with leukemia, her prognosis is grim. To maximize the time she does have, she vows to spend her final months righting wrongs - however she sees fit. She convinces her friend Harvey, who she knows has always had feelings for her, to help her with a crazy bucket list that's as much about revenge (humiliating her ex-boyfriend and getting back at her archnemesis) as it is about hope (doing something unexpectedly kind for a stranger).
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3 out of 5 stars
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Listening Experiences May Vary
- By The Reading Date on 05-18-14
By: Julie Murphy
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Fracture
- By: Megan Miranda
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 317
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 290
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Story4 out of 5 stars 288
Eleven minutes passed before Delaney Maxwell was pulled from the icy waters of a Maine lake by her best friend, Decker Phillips. By then her heart had stopped beating. Her brain had stopped working. She was dead. And yet she somehow defied medical precedent to come back seemingly fine - despite the scans that showed significant brain damage. Everyone wants Delaney to be all right, but she knows she's far from normal. Pulled by strange sensations she can't control or explain, Delaney finds herself drawn to the dying. Is her altered brain now predicting death, or causing it?
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3 out of 5 stars
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Well Written, great narrator
- By Cndee13 on 04-29-14
By: Megan Miranda
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Shut Out
- By: Kody Keplinger
- Narrated by: Kate Reinders
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 74
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 71
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Story4 out of 5 stars 71
Most high school sports teams have rivalries with other Schools. At Hamilton High, it’s a civil war: the football team versus the soccer team. And for her part, Lissa is sick of it. Her quarterback boyfriend, Randy, is always ditching her to go pick a fight or haze a freshman. And on three separate occasions Randy’s car has been egged while he and Lissa were inside, making out. She is done competing with a bunch of sweaty boys for her own boyfriend’s attention. Lissa decides to end the rivalry once and for all: She and the other players’ girlfriends go on a hookup strike.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A great read
- By Valerie StuckInBooks on 01-29-12
By: Kody Keplinger
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The DUFF: Designated Ugly Fat Friend
- By: Kody Keplinger
- Narrated by: Ellen Grafton
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 934
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 806
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Story4 out of 5 stars 808
Seventeen-year-old Bianca Piper is cynical and loyal, and she doesn’t think she’s the prettiest of her friends by a long shot. She’s also way too smart to fall for the charms of man-slut and slimy school hottie Wesley Rush. In fact, Bianca hates him. And when he nicknames her “the Duff,” she throws her Coke in his face. But things aren’t so great at home right now, and Bianca is desperate for a distraction. She ends up kissing Wesley. Worse, she likes it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Different (and better) story from the movie
- By J. Afa on 05-02-19
By: Kody Keplinger
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Loving Mr. Daniels
- By: Brittainy Cherry
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam, Jennifer Stark
- Length: 9 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 731
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 673
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 676
It was easy to call us forbidden and harder to call us soul mates. Yet I believed we were both. Forbidden soul mates. When I arrived in Edgewood, Wisconsin, I didn't plan to find him. I didn't plan to stumble into Joe's bar and have Daniel's music stir up my emotions. I had no clue that his voice would make my hurts forget their own sorrow. I had no idea that my happiness would remember its own bliss.
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5 out of 5 stars
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LOSS, LONGING, LIFE.. & FORBIDDEN LOVE
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 11-15-16
By: Brittainy Cherry
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Rainbow Boys
- By: Alex Sanchez
- Narrated by: Alston Brown
- Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 400
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 359
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 359
Jason Carrillo is a jock with a steady girlfriend, but he can't stop dreaming about sex...with other guys. Kyle Meeks doesn't look gay, but he is. And he hopes he never has to tell anyone - especially his parents. Nelson Glassman is "out" to the entire world, but he can't tell the boy he loves that he wants to be more than just friends. Three teenage boys, coming of age and out of the closet.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Mixed feelings
- By Holli on 05-04-19
By: Alex Sanchez
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Made You Up
- By: Francesca Zappia
- Narrated by: Amanda Ronconi
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 206
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 180
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 181
Reality, it turns out, is often not what you perceive it to be - sometimes, there really is someone out to get you. For fans of Silver Linings Playbook and Liar, this thought-provoking debut tells the story of Alex, a high school senior - and the ultimate unreliable narrator - unable to tell the difference between real life and delusion. Alex fights a daily battle to figure out what is real and what is not.
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1 out of 5 stars
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A DISGRACE TO AUTHORS AND MENTAL HEALTH EVERYWHERE
- By Amazon Customer on 06-27-18
By: Francesca Zappia
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Art & Soul
- By: Brittainy C. Cherry
- Narrated by: Bailey Carr, Scott Aiello
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 491
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 454
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 451
Falling in love wasn't the plan. But how could I resist his promises of hope? Of forgiveness? Of a future I had stopped dreaming of? We were shattered. We were scarred. We were something strange and beautiful. We were two lost souls holding on to the only thing that could keep us together. Each other.
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5 out of 5 stars
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5 Soul Stars
- By whatcha.listening.to on 07-18-16
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My Favorite Mistake
- By: Chelsea M. Cameron
- Narrated by: Kate Rudd
- Length: 10 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 287
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 264
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Story4 out of 5 stars 269
Two secrets. One bet. Who will break first? Taylor Caldwell can't decide if she wants to kiss her new college roommate or punch him. On the one hand, Hunter Zaccadelli is a handsome blue-eyed bundle of charm. On the other, he's a tattooed, guitar-playing bad boy. Maybe that's why Taylor's afraid of falling in love with him, or anyone else. She doesn't want to get burned, so she needs him gone before it's too late.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Mega Swoon Worthy New Adult Romance
- By Jordy ♡♡♡♡ on 08-28-13
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Teach Me to Forget
- By: Erica M. Chapman
- Narrated by: Bailey Carr
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 126
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 113
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 113
Ellery wants to die. Nothing is going right. Her younger sister is dead, and her family is in a shambles. But on the day that she tries to end it all, even the gun won't work. When she tries to return it, she's intercepted by a security guard who also happens to be a boy in one of her classes, Colter Sawyer. Colter recognizes Ellery's desperation and begins working hard to earn her trust.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Darkly Romantic
- By Clayton McEwen on 01-21-17
By: Erica M. Chapman
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Last Christmas
- The Private Prequel
- By: Kate Brian
- Narrated by: Justine Eyre
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 15
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 12
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Story4 out of 5 stars 12
Ariana Osgood has everything an Easton Academy girl could want: straight A's, the perfect boyfriend, and a coveted spot in exclusive Billings House. But on the first night of Christmas vacation, a blizzard traps her on campus with irresistible bad-boy Thomas Pearson. Alone. As the snow transforms Easton into a winter wonderland, Ariana finds herself falling for Thomas. But someone is watching their clandestine romance unfold, someone intent on turning their holiday weekend into a nightmare.
By: Kate Brian
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The Last Time We Say Goodbye
- By: Cynthia Hand
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 515
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 464
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 467
The last time Lex was happy, it was before. When she had a family that was whole. A boyfriend she loved. Friends who didn't look at her like she might break down at any moment. Now she's just the girl whose brother killed himself. And it feels like that's all she'll ever be. As Lex starts to put her life back together, she tries to block out what happened the night Tyler died. But there's a secret she hasn't told anyone--a text Tyler sent that could have changed everything.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Such sweet sorrow
- By Lesaly on 04-26-15
By: Cynthia Hand
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Ryan's Bed
- By: Tijan
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer
- Length: 9 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,640
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,517
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,513
I crawled into Ryan Jensen’s bed that first night by accident. I barely knew him. I thought it was his sister’s bed - her room. It took seconds to realize my error, and I should've left... I didn’t. I didn’t jump out. I didn’t get embarrassed. I relaxed. And that night, in that moment, it was the only thing I craved. I asked to stay. He let me, and I slept. The truth? I never wanted to leave his bed. If I could've stayed forever, I would have. He became my sanctuary. Because - four hours earlier - my twin sister killed herself.
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4 out of 5 stars
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One of Tijan's Better Books!
- By Ryan Mauricio on 06-16-18
By: Tijan
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Let's Talk About Love
- By: Claire Kann
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 158
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 146
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Story4 out of 5 stars 146
Alice had her whole summer planned. Nonstop all-you-can-eat buffets while marathoning her favorite TV shows (best friends totally included) with the smallest dash of adulting - working at the library to pay her share of the rent. The only thing missing from her perfect plan? Her girlfriend (who ended things when Alice confessed she's asexual). Alice is done with dating - no thank you, do not pass go, stick a fork in her, done. But then Alice meets Takumi and she can't stop thinking about him or the rom com-grade romance feels she did not ask for.
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5 out of 5 stars
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good ya/na story
- By AudioBookHoe on 07-19-18
By: Claire Kann