The Way I Used to Be

By: Amber Smith

Narrated by: Rebekkah Ross

Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins

Publisher's summary

New York Times bestseller! In the tradition of Speak, Amber Smith's extraordinary debut novel “is a heart-twisting, but ultimately hopeful, exploration of how pain can lead to strength” (The Boston Globe).

Eden was always good at being good. Starting high school didn’t change who she was. But the night her brother’s best friend rapes her, Eden’s world capsizes.

What was once simple, is now complex. What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true, is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened but she can’t. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be.

Told in four parts—freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year—this provocative debut reveals the deep cuts of trauma. But it also demonstrates one young woman’s strength as she navigates the disappointment and unbearable pains of adolescence, of first love and first heartbreak, of friendships broken and rebuilt, all while learning to embrace the power of survival she never knew she had hidden within her heart.

©2016 Amber Smith. All rights reserved. (P)2016 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.

You should read it.

I listened to this audiobook in two days. Once I started it, I knew I couldn’t put it down anymore until I was done. I haven’t slept for an entire night, this is how good the book was.

First of all, I really thought the performance was perfect. The voice was smooth, and really helped to picture each scenes as if in reality.

The book is amazingly written although rape is quite difficult to write about. I felt it was well handled.
I must admit I cried throughout the entire book, but I still consider that it is such an important issue. Everyone one, including men, should read it only to better understand what can go through the mind of someone who was raped.

Plus I really enjoyed how Eden’s character was really complex, her mistakes only made her more reliable.

Intense

This book frustrated me. I found myself often yelling, "come on! Just tell them!" Or "Be honest with josh! Tell him you love him". Her relationship with josh had me tied in and made me angry sometimes when things didn't go nh way, but that's what makes this a great book. The way that a book can tie me in so quickly and having me feel real emotions over the story just shows how good it is. In my opinion, this was honest, brutally honest. The really shows how sexual assault can effect people and how hard it is to tell, especially when you know the person. The way I used to be had be tied in and I couldn't put it down. It was a great story and experience.

Great story

This story was great. I felt like I was listening to a story so similar to my own. Thankful for this.

Love this book

I love this book. I bought it along time ago and read it and then let a few friends read it. I can reread this book all the time

Started at 5AM

I started reading at 5AM, and was done by 3PM. This book was so good. Only the 2nd time I’ve ever done that before. I just couldn’t put it down. Great ending. True message of finding the strength you didn’t know you had.

If I hadn't been listening around people...

I would have been in tears by the end. but of course I didn't want to be the person who cried at the end of a book in a room full of onlookers.
The story feels so real. It never feels like you're being talked down to or like it's trying to glamorize the subject. It's definitely worth listening to; it just might be best to sit and listen to the last couple hours of the book alone with a box of tissues.

such an important story

this broke my heart to read but I think everyone should read this book. life changing.

It was a really nice listen

This book should definitely come with a trigger warning. But I really enjoyed it. Would recommend

Riveting

In 9th grade I remember reading Speak. It’s a book that still haunts me. The Way I Used to Be reminds me a lot of speak. The kind of book you read one time and can’t reread due to the nature of the content. This book is well written and I think does a good job of portraying sexual abuse and the aftermath from the victims perspective.

Heartbreakingly true

I listened to this without even knowing what it was going to be about and I could not stop listening after just a few minutes. Trigger warnings needed. This book broke me knowing so many women live with what Eden endured.