The Very Heart of It

New York Diaries, 1983-1994

By: Thomas Mallon

Narrated by: Thomas Mallon

From the renowned novelist and critic, an exquisite collection of journal entries from the 1980s and ’90s, tracking a young, gay author’s literary coming-of-age in New York during the AIDS crisis

In 1983, Thomas Mallon was still unknown. A literature professor at Vassar College, he spent his days traveling from Manhattan to campus, reviewing books to make ends meet and searching the city for his own purpose and fulfillment. The AIDS epidemic was beginning to surge in New York City, the ever-bustling epicenter of literary culture and gay life, alive with parties, art, and sex.

Though he didn’t know it, everything would soon change for Mallon. Riding the success of his debut, A Book of One’s Own, he became a fixture within the city’s literary scene, crossing paths with cultural giants and becoming an editor at GQ. He captured it all in his daily journals. But in some ways it was the worst possible time for a gay coming-of-age in the city. One of his lovers succumbed to AIDS, and the illness of others was both a heartbreaking reality and a constant reminder of his own exposure.

Tracing his own life day by day, Mallon evokes all that those years encompassed: the hookups, intensifying politics, personal tragedies, as well as his own blossoming success and eventual romantic happiness. The Very Heart of It is a brilliant and bewitching look into the daily life of one of our most important literary figures, and a keepsake from a bygone era.

©2025 Thomas Mallon (P)2025 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"Illuminating, heartbreaking, hilarious, romantic, terrifying, thrilling, baffling, joyous—such is life! And such are the diaries of our great writer Thomas Mallon, who has preserved in The Very Heart of It one precious moment in time told in his inestimable style. I found myself reading addictively. A world opens up in these pages. What a book!" —Andrew Sean Greer, Pulitzer Prize–winning author of Less and Less Is Lost

"While reading The Very Heart of It, I tried to discipline myself, but suddenly it was 4 AM. Thomas Mallon’s diaries, focusing on the 1980s through the early 90s, depict that era with heartbreaking accuracy, from the dread of an AIDS test to the glory of living, on cobbled-together funds, in the social and cultural capitol of New York City. His portraits of the rancorous literary scene, political ferment and his hectic love life are witty, original and sinfully entertaining (it’s a rare work that travels from Robert Mapplethorpe to Dan Quayle). Upon reaching the final page all I wanted was more." —Paul Rudnick, author of What is Wrong with You?

"Thomas Mallon’s The Very Heart of It is a big-hearted account of his life from 1983 to 1994, as he was becoming the distinguished American man of letters and man-about-town that he manifestly is now. It’s also a modern-day, Defoe-esque diary of the plague years, when AIDS swept through the country, scything its grim swath through the artist community. It’s fittingly ironic that Mallon, arguably our best living historical novelist, made his first splash with a non-fictional book about famous diarists. With this book, he joins those ranks." —Christopher Buckley, author of Losing Mum and Pup: A Memoir

“Moving [and] bittersweet. . . . The many human moments (funny, sad, witty, horrible, and beautiful) populating Mallon’s diaries collectively (and vicariously) illuminate a supremely resilient community that soldiered on (and kept dancing) despite insurmountable loss and pain. An exquisitely evocative glimpse into an unparalleled era in queer history steeped in joy, sex, and death.” —Kirkus (starred review)

“Compulsively browsable. . . . Mallon’s diaries paint an arresting panorama of Reagan-era New York City, full of droll character studies. . . . [Mallon’s] prose conveys deep emotion with clear-eyed, matter-of-fact detail. It amounts to an engrossing evocation of an artist and a city in transition.” —Publisher’s Weekly

Yawn

I listened to the whole thing, especially because I’m gay, and about his age, and lived through the worst years of the AIDS crisis in Manhattan.
It’s all so very self-absorbed and trivial about literary doings in New York from 1983 into 1994.
Yes, he conveys the impact in his personal life, but he waits until he’s 33 to go to a gay bar and constantly speaks with condescension about “ordinary” gay men and horrors like a Pride Parade. He never engages in any kind of activism or support for GMHC or ACTUP or any organization fighting against AIDS and all the attendant discrimination. It’s all dinners at upscale restaurants and cabaret life. He never has a kind word for any Democratic political figure, when those were the only ones who cared at all about AIDS and lesbians and gays.
He ghost writes Dan Quayle’s book after DQ leaves the vice presidency.
He “sobs” when Nixon dies.

Solitary, child free yuppie focuses on career

Diary entries, heavily redacted. A biographer might tell a more interesting story from the source material. And oh, by the way, the author was gay during the plague years, and that partly explains why he had so much time to write and network in the publishing world. If you want to read about gay men in the 80-90s, there are much better accounts.