The United States of Air
A Satire
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The United States of Air
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Narrated by:
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J.M. Porup
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By:
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J.M. Porup
About this listen
You read Orwell's 1984. Now read The United States of Air.
The National Sewer Agency is spying on people's toilets, looking for food terrorists...
Food Enforcement Agent Jason Frolick believes in America. He believes in eating air. He struggles to get the food monkey off his back. As part of the Global War on Fat, his job is to put food terrorists in Fat Camp.
When a pizza dealer gets whacked in the park across the street from the Thin House, the Prophet Jones himself asks Frolick to investigate. For the first time ever, Frolick solves a murder - but what he finds out shakes his faith.
Will he ever be able to eat air again?
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-
I, Who Did Not Die
- A Sweeping Story of Loss, Redemption, and Fate
- By: Zahed Haftlang, Najah Aboud
- Narrated by: Mikael Naramore
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 58
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 54
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 54
Khorramshahr, Iran, May 1982 - It was the bloodiest battle of one of the most brutal wars of the twentieth century, and Najah, a 29-year-old wounded Iraqi conscript, was face to face with a 13-year-old Iranian child soldier who was ordered to kill him. Instead, the boy committed an astonishing act of mercy. It was an act that decades later would save his own life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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- By jennie on 04-10-24
By: Zahed Haftlang, and others
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Bill, the Galactic Hero
- The Planet of the Robot Slaves
- By: Harry Harrison
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 180
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 156
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 157
A sequel to the author's Bill, the Galactic Hero, published over 20 years ago, this book is the first of a new series of novels featuring Bill. With two right arms, an artificial foot, and a set of surgically implanted tusks, Bill sets out to find the source of Chinger-controlled metal dragons.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not the stainless steel rat
- By Virtual DD on 07-22-15
By: Harry Harrison
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Titans
- By: Edward W. Robertson
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 10 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 220
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 205
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Story4 out of 5 stars 205
Rob Dunbar is the world's best history professor. And with good reason: he's been alive for 3,000 years, keeping his existence a secret since before the days of Athens. But a stranger named Baxter has a better use for Rob's vast expertise. Baxter's looking to found a mining company in the Asteroid Belt. In exchange for Rob's help, he'll try to unravel the mystery of Rob's origin. As they're getting their outfit off the ground, they come under covert attack by HemiCo, a powerful Mars-based corporation.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great book
- By Adam on 09-29-16
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Horror Stories
- Twenty-Six Scary Tales
- By: Jack Kilborn, J. A. Konrath
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 8 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 358
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 315
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Story4 out of 5 stars 321
This collection features a menagerie of horror stories. Some are scary. Some are disturbing. Some are funny. Meet werewolves, vampires, zombies, psychopaths, aliens, cannibals, ghosts, and various things that go bump in the night. Previously published in dozens of anthologies and magazines, some of these tales are mild, but some are extreme. Let the reader beware...
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5 out of 5 stars
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IS A PIECE OF A@@, WORTH PRISON?, HELL YA!
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 02-10-16
By: Jack Kilborn, and others
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The Last Policeman
- The Last Policeman, Book 1
- By: Ben H. Winters
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,973
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,782
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,777
What’s the point in solving murders if we’re all going to die soon, anyway? Detective Hank Palace has faced this question ever since asteroid 2011GV1 hovered into view. There’s no chance left. No hope. Just six precious months until impact. The economy spirals downward while crops rot in the fields. Churches and synagogues are packed. People all over the world are walking off the job—but not Hank Palace. He’s investigating a death by hanging in a city that sees a dozen suicides every week—except this one feels suspicious, and Palace is the only cop who cares.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Not your regular mystery
- By Victor @ theAudiobookBlog dot com on 09-20-16
By: Ben H. Winters
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Undertow
- By: Michael Buckley
- Narrated by: Jennifer Grace
- Length: 11 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 106
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 96
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Story4 out of 5 stars 97
When Lyric Walker was 14 years old, her life was turned upside down when she witnessed a world-changing event - the arrival of the Triton, a five-nation race of warrior merpeople who walked out of the sea and camped on the beaches of modern-day Coney Island. Suddenly her neighborhood was home to a new minority group numbering in the tens of thousands. But the Triton's arrival also revealed a shocking family secret: Her own mother was a mermaid.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I loved “Undertow” by Michael Buckley.
- By love2dazzle on 11-13-17
By: Michael Buckley
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National Security
- A Jericho Quinn Thriller, Book 1
- By: Marc Cameron
- Narrated by: Tom Weiner
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 583
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 533
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 531
Warning: The next terrorist attack on American soil is coming...sooner than you think. They can strike anytime, anywhere. A public landmark. A suburban shopping mall. And now, the human body itself. Three Middle Eastern terrorists have been injected with a biological weapon, human time bombs unleashed on American soil. They are prepared to die. To spread their disease. To annihilate millions. If America hopes to fight this enemy from within, we need a new kind of weapon. Meet Special Agent Jericho Quinn. Air Force veteran. Champion boxer. Trained assassin.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great story but
- By Roy on 12-06-20
By: Marc Cameron
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The Long Way Down
- Daniel Faust, Book 1
- By: Craig Schaefer
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,565
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,446
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,446
Nobody knows the seedy underbelly of Las Vegas like Daniel Faust, a sorcerer for hire and ex-gangster who uses black magic and bullets to solve his clients' problems. When an old man comes seeking vengeance for his murdered granddaughter, what looks like a simple job quickly spirals out of control. Soon Daniel stands in the crossfire between a murderous porn director; a corrupt cop with a quick trigger finger; and his own former employer, a racket boss who isn't entirely human.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Urban fantasy noir. Done right..
- By Cliff on 02-19-15
By: Craig Schaefer
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The Runner
- By: Christopher Reich
- Narrated by: George Guidall
- Length: 16 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 96
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 83
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 81
American lawyer and former police detective Judge Devlin is in Europe sifting through evidence of Nazi atrocities. He is part of the International Military Tribunal, but his agenda is personal. He hopes to convict SS member and former Olympic sprinter Eric Seyss, the man responsible for his military chaplain brother’s death. When Judge learns Eric has just escaped from an American POW camp, the American sets off in a desperate race for vengeance.
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4 out of 5 stars
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this story just went on and on and on
- By Stevie on 09-07-12
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Origin
- A Thriller
- By: J. A. Konrath
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,951
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,671
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,680
When linguist Andrew Dennison is yanked from his bed by the Secret Service and taken to a top secret facility in the desert, he has no idea he's been brought there to translate the words of an ancient demon. He joins pretty but cold veterinarian Sun Jones, eccentric molecular biologist Dr. Frank Belgium, and a hodge-podge of religious, military, and science personnel to try and figure out if the creature is, indeed, Satan. But things quickly go bad, and very soon Andy isn't just fighting for his life, but the lives of everyone on earth…
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4 out of 5 stars
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Making My Beelzebubble Burst
- By Carol on 01-01-14
By: J. A. Konrath
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Heart of the Assassin
- By: Robert Ferrigno
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser
- Length: 14 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 25
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 25
Time is running out for the two nations that once made up the former USA. Weakened by their division, both the Islamic republic and the Bible Belt are threatened by the expansionist dreams of the Atzlan Empire to the south, and their own intellectual decay engendered by their fundamentalist beliefs. The only solution is to reunite the two nations and regain its former glory, and there's only one way to do it, and only one man, Rakkim Epps, who can.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Utterly engaging and enjoyable
- By Tommy on 12-29-09
By: Robert Ferrigno
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Patient Zero
- The Joe Ledger Novels, Book 1
- By: Jonathan Maberry
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 14 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17,094
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15,527
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 15,488
When you have to kill the same terrorist twice in one week there’s either something wrong with your world or something wrong with your skills - and there’s nothing wrong with Joe Ledger’s skills. And that’s both a good and a bad thing. It’s good because he’s a Baltimore detective who has just been secretly recruited by the government to lead a new task force created to deal with the problems that Homeland Security can’t handle....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Yes! It IS that good. Five stars and more.
- By Kim Venatries on 10-05-12
By: Jonathan Maberry
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The Pilo Family Circus
- By: Will Elliott
- Narrated by: Mark Stephens
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 99
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 92
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Story4 out of 5 stars 93
"You have two days to pass your audition. You better pass it, feller. You’re joining the circus. Ain’t that the best news you ever got?" Delivered by a trio of psychotic clowns, this ultimatum plunges Jamie into the horrific alternate universe that is the centuries-old Pilo Family Circus, a borderline world between Hell and Earth from which humankind’s greatest tragedies have been perpetrated. Yet in this place - peopled by the gruesome, grotesque, and monstrous - where violence and savagery are the norm, Jamie finds that his worst enemy is himself.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Entertaining but unremarkable bit of the lmacabre
- By David on 05-31-14
By: Will Elliott
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Hellhole
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Macleod Andrews
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 556
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 516
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Story4 out of 5 stars 518
There was a time when geeky, squeaky-clean Max Kilgore would never lie or steal or even think about murder. Then he accidentally unearths a devil, and Max's choices are no longer his own. The big red guy has a penchant for couch surfing and junk food - and you should never underestimate evil on a sugar high.
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4 out of 5 stars
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What you would expect from Gina Damico
- By Midwestbonsai on 03-03-15
By: Gina Damico
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Croak
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,808
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,660
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,660
Fed up with her wild behavior, 16-year-old Lex’s parents ship her off to upstate New York to live with her Uncle Mort for the summer, hoping that a few months of dirty farm work will whip her back into shape. But Uncle Mort’s true occupation is much dirtier than shoveling manure. He’s a Grim Reaper. And he’s going to teach Lex the family business. She quickly assimilates into the peculiar world of Croak, a town populated by reapers who deliver souls from this life to the next.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Juvenile
- By Mark Faine on 09-23-13
By: Gina Damico
What listeners say about The United States of Air
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jennifer
- 07-04-14
For fans of the Daily Show
What did you love best about The United States of Air?
This book is like a cross between South Park, the Daily Show, and George Orwell.
It's like 1984 only way funnier!
What was one of the most memorable moments of The United States of Air?
the scene between Frolick and the Prophet near the end. I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.
Which character – as performed by J.M. Porup – was your favorite?
Fatso!!!
If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?
Throwing Poo at the Powerful
Any additional comments?
the "war or terror" is a buncha crappola you ask me and this book calls it like it is!
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4 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mike Hicks
- 07-18-14
Like South Park!
If you could sum up The United States of Air in three words, what would they be?
Really LOL funny!
Which character – as performed by J.M. Porup – was your favorite?
Fatso. The cheesy over-the-top French accent is so ridiculous I laughed out loud!
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- V. Spain
- 09-08-16
Eye-rolling, gave up halfway through
Would you try another book from J.M. Porup and/or J.M. Porup?
Nope.
Would you ever listen to anything by J.M. Porup again?
Nope.
What didn’t you like about J.M. Porup’s performance?
The t's were super crisp, so any word with a t was clipped and jarring. He was trying to act like a clueless wannabe naive idiot, but he just came across as an asshat.
What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?
I rolled my eyes at just about every line. I have two little kids so I hear about poop, pee, farts, butts, and the rest every single day. I don't care. But this book was just infantile. The constant references to "poo," "pee," and "wee wees" was just too much for me. I have better uses for my time than listening to something that sounds like my 6-year-old wrote it. I had high hopes for the book because I thought the concept was good, but the focus on poop in the middle of the book just made me give up.
Any additional comments?
Ugh. Just ugh.
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