The Third Policeman

By: Flann O'Brien

Narrated by: Jim Norton

Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins

Publisher's summary

Flann O'Brien's most popular and surrealistic novel concerns an imaginary, hellish village police force and a local murder.

Weird, satirical, and very funny, its popularity has suddenly increased with the mention of the novel in the TV series Lost.

Download the accompanying reference guide.

©1967 Flann O'Brien (P)2012 Naxos AudioBooks

Critic reviews

"His writing is invariably compared to those other Irish greats, Joyce and Beckett, but for me he is infinitely more accessible and much funnier." (Sue Arnold, The Guardian, UK)
"If ever a book was brought to life by a reading, it is this presentation of O'Brien's posthumously published classic. Norton individually crafts voices and personalities for each character in such a way that a listener might imagine an entire cast of voice talent working overtime....[He] ties the ribbon on a perfect presentation of this absurd and chilling masterpiece." ( Publishers Weekly)

Rambling and funny

Flann O'Brien is an acquired taste but give him a chance - he's worth it.

He has a free associative style of writing and sometimes you wonder where you're going and where you've been - but he's funny, very funny.

Well-crafted and a verbal masterpiece.

Surreal and engaging. Masterful word play. Delightfully read. The unnamed narrator compellingly shares his story so that I was glad to tag along through his adventures. The infinitely goofy de Selby is a wonderful invention and a caution to all philosophers to weigh carefully their commitment to facts and speculations.

A Murderer Adrift in a Dantean Irish Wonderland

The narrator of Flann O'Brien's The Third Policeman (1940/1967) begins his story, "Not everybody knows how I killed old Phillip Mathers, smashing his jaw in with my spade." The first chapter then relates how the narrator was abandoned and orphaned as a boy, educated at a good boarding school where he fell in love with the work of the physicist/philosopher/psychologist de Selby, graduated and lost his leg and gained a wooden one, came home to find John Divney running the family farm and pub, spent all his time and money on English, French, and German commentaries on his hero de Selby, and finally agreed to help Divney murder Mathers to get enough money to publish a "definitive" annotated de Selby index. For three years after the murder the narrator never let Divney out of his sight for fear that his "friend" would abscond with their victim's money, until Divney has the narrator go to the old man's house to retrieve the black cash box hidden under the floorboards there.

But when the narrator reaches under the floorboards, he experiences an "ineffable" fugue, after which he finds that the cash box (which he saw a moment earlier) is actually absent, while Mathers is present and sentient. The narrator has forgotten his name (which he has never revealed) and now embarks on an absurd, disturbing, fantastic adventure, ostensibly to locate the cash box. Cries of amazement regularly escape his lips. He wonders if he "was dreaming or in the grip of some hallucination." Has he entered an Irish Wonderland, Heaven, or Hell? Are the bicycle-obsessed policemen there eccentrics, angels, or devils?

The surreal situations are coherent and logical in a way worthy of Lewis Carroll. Sergeant Pluck, for example, explains that, due to "the Atomic Theory," by which atoms are "as lively as twenty leprechauns doing a jig on top of a tombstone," people who ride bicycles exchange particles with them, leading to this man being 23% bicycle or that bicycle 78% man, and so on. Did you ever notice that bicycles often don't end up right where you left them? (Thus Pluck locks his bicycle in the solitary confinement cell.) Best not to ponder what happens when a man rides a woman's bicycle or vice versa! Then there is the creative second policeman MacCruiskeen who plays a musical instrument whose notes are so high they are inaudible and displays a series of inter-nested chests ending in ones so small they are invisible. As for the crazy, third policeman, Fox, out on patrol for 25 years, the less said the better.

Meanwhile, the beginnings of the 12 chapters of the novel teem with footnotes relating to the theories, experiments, and writings of the narrator's crackpot idol de Selby as they prefigure the coming action of the chapters with topics like water, sleep, time, direction, roads, names, houses, and mirrors. The footnotes also mediate between de Selby commentators, like the two trusted experts, Hatchjaw and Bassett, and the "shadowy" Kraus and the "egregious" du Garbandier, some of whom may be pseudonyms or imposters, all of whom disagree on nearly everything. Isn't academia is prey to rivalries, forgeries, and unworthy subjects of study!

This opposing mirror infinity is a motif in the novel: footnotes inside footnotes, scholars inside scholars, codices inside codices, chests inside chests, rooms inside rooms, bodies inside bodies. . . It is vertiginous.

The narrator is odd. He is both honest and unreliable. We believe what he says, but note much that he leaves unsaid (like just what happened to his leg). After saying early on that he committed his "greatest sin" for de Selby, the narrator seems free from remorse for helping to murder an old man. He is both gullible and canny about "friend" Divney, knowing that the freeloader has been robbing their customers and him but letting himself get talked into killing Mathers for money and then refusing to be separated from Divney until the money has been divided. The narrator is not as bad as Divney, yet he is self-centered, as in his materialistic wants in "Eternity" and his big plans for "his" omnium (the essential divine building block of everything).

All of the above is written by O'Brien with great humor humor, preventing things from getting too bleak, bizarre, or dry. The scenes where Pluck lists a series of names to see if one might be the narrator's, or a rescue company of one-legged men disguise their number, or the news that Hatchjaw was arrested in Europe for impersonating himself, or the explanation for how unerringly Pluck is able to locate a stolen bicycle, or Mathers' reason for saying no to every request, or the narrator's conversations with his soul ("Joe"), all these and many more are very funny.

Another saving grace of the nightmare is the frequently lyrical, pastoral beauty.
"Birds were audible in the secrecy of the bigger trees, changing branches and conversing not tumultuously. In a field by the road a donkey stood quietly, as if he were examining the morning, bit by bit, unhurryingly… as if he understood completely these unexplainable enjoyments of the world."

But O'Brien is also a master of the disturbing detail, as of the police barracks:
"I had never seen with my eyes ever in my life before anything so unnatural and appalling and my gaze faltered about the thing uncomprehendingly as if at least one of the customary dimensions was missing, leaving no meaning to the remainder."

Audiobook reader Jim Norton gives a marvelous reading of the novel. His Irish accent ranges from the slight and educated (the narrator) to the broad and working class (Sergeant Pluck). He's also an uncanny uptight pompous British scholar, a nasal dead old man, and an italics-voiced soul. He reads every word and pause with perfect intention and understanding.

If you'd like a richly written unique book with flavors of Waiting for Godot, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, the Divine Comedy, and the old Prisoner TV show, you should read The Third Policeman.

Not a detective novel.....well sort of.....

Where does The Third Policeman rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

I have only purchased one other audiobook-Keep the Aspidistra Flying by George Orwell. They are both excellent.

Who was your favorite character and why?

The narrator because it is his story, although he is telling it while dead.

What about Jim Norton’s performance did you like?

He was perfect.

Who was the most memorable character of The Third Policeman and why?

The narrator.

Any additional comments?

I have the feeling the people who hated this saw the word policeman in the title and expected one of those books located by the cash register in the supermarket. If you can't enjoy something because it doesn't "make sense" you won't like this. However if you like Samuel Becket or James Joyce you will find this very funny.

GPTChat

So I queried GPTChat " Weird audible books" got 4 suggestions. Didn't look all that weird. Added new query "weirder." So arrived "The Third Policeman." Totally captivating as read! Jim Norton may have done the perfect job of conveying each character. Each syllable is a symphony dedicated to the soul. 7 hours of enjoyable nonsense.

Absolutely hilarious

One of the most absurd, charming, disturbing, perplexing, and HILARIOUS books ever written. I’m at a loss of words for what else to say about it. It’s definitely one I’m gonna keep handy for the rest of my life.

Good Craic

This absurd novel will make you feel uncomfortable at times, thinking to yourself “what’s the point of what they’re saying or doing?”. What you should understand before you read is that feeling is what the writer wants you to feel, and is a comment on the futility of life itself or aspects of daily life that we cannot reasonably justify. “Comic” is the right word for the novel. While it is at times funny and borderline hilarious, the comedy is mostly resulting from laughing at this thing we call life and all the madness it contains. I should add that the introductions to most of the chapters feature some beautiful writing, clever phrasing and imagery, and you should keep an ear out for some memorable similes such as “as friendly and familiar as the pockets of an old suit.”

A great performance by the narrator made this a welcome break from your usual go-to audiobook, whatever that may be!

excellent

an old favorite, beautifully narrated. i could not be happier with it. highly recommended.

Patience

Stick with it; this book is surprisingly good,funny very Irish

Best-narrated audiobook on Audible.com. Seriously.

This book is far and away the best-narrated audiobook on all of Audible.com. Jim Norton is an absolute genius, without parallel.

You should listen to this audiobook to experience O'Brien's novel, which is surreal, funny, and disturbing. But you should also listen to it for Norton's incredible performance. Both Norton and O'Brien are one-of-a-kind geniuses.