The Supervillain Handbook
The Ultimate How-to Guide to Destruction and Mayhem
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The Supervillain Handbook
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Narrated by:
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Richard Allen
About this listen
Your guide to making it big in the business of evil!
Looking for a way out of the rat race? Tired of your ho-hum, workaday life? Have an inexplicable love of turning human beings into inanimate objects? Then professional supervillainy might just be for you! With tips from the renowned founder and overlord of the International Society of Supervillains, The Supervillain Handbook is your one-stop-shop for everything evil. Gain invaluable insight on the art of revenge, choosing your evil name, where to find the perfect lair, and much more!
©2012 Matt D. Wilson (P)2013 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Editorial reviews
King Oblivion PhD, founder of the International Society of Supervillains, graciously allows Matt Wilson to divulge the secrets to becoming an all-powerful arbiter of evil to the rest of us mere mortals. This satirical guide to unlocking your inner maleficence is a showcase for Richard Allen, who inhabits the role of Dr. Oblivion with a theatrical relish, delivering his tips with a deliciously over-the-top menace that magnifies Wilson's comic flair, creating a hilarious and clever listen. Follow the advice in The Supervillain Handbook and rule the world.
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You're going to wish you never got this audiobook. Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in. Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Buenas fabulas de humor
- By Cynthia on 10-27-14
By: Cracked.com
-
Seven Deadly Sins
- Settling the Argument Between Born Bad and Damaged Good
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,078
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 978
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 971
For the first time, Slipknot and Stone Sour frontman Corey Taylor speaks directly to his fans and shares his worldview about life as a sinner. And Taylor knows how to sin. As a small-town hero in the early '90s, he threw himself into a fierce-drinking, drug-abusing, hard-loving, live-for-the-moment life. Soon Taylor's music exploded, and he found himself rich, wanted, and on the road. His new and ever-more-extreme lifestyle had an unexpected effect, however; for the first time, he began to actively think about what it meant to sin.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Glad I didn't read this before buying concert tix
- By S. Adams on 07-23-19
By: Corey Taylor
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Significant Zero
- Heroes, Villains, and the Fight for Art and Soul in Video Games
- By: Walt Williams
- Narrated by: Kevin T. Collins
- Length: 9 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 190
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 177
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 177
When his satirical musings in a college newspaper got him discharged from the Air Force, it became clear to Walt Williams that his destiny in life was to be a writer - he just never thought he'd end up writing video games, let alone working on some of the most successful franchises in the industry - Bioshock, Civilization, Borderlands, and Mafia, among others. Williams pulls back the curtain on an astonishingly profitable industry that has put its stamp on pop culture and yet is little known to those outside its walls.
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1 out of 5 stars
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it's a bad autobiography not what the title says
- By Chelsea on 11-22-17
By: Walt Williams
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The United States of Absurdity
- Untold Stories from American History
- By: Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, Patton Oswalt - foreword
- Narrated by: Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 649
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 578
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 575
The creators of the podcast The Dollop present profiles of the weird, outrageous, NSFW, and downright absurd tales from American history that you weren't taught in school. The United States of Absurdity presents short, informative, and hilarious stories of the most outlandish (but true) people, events, and more from United States history.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Fun With Useless Facts
- By Keith on 05-21-17
By: Dave Anthony, and others
-
Origins of a D-List Supervillain
- By: Jim Bernheimer
- Narrated by: Jeffrey Kafer
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,831
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,682
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,683
Even D-list supervillains have to start somewhere. Follow Cal Stringel's misadventures as he climbs to the lowest levels of supervillany in the prequel to the smash hit, Confessions of a D-List Supervillain. Angry that he wouldn't be known as the engineer who made Ultraweapon's force blasters, Cal resigns to chase after a bigger, better paycheck. However, the Promethia Corporation isn't going to let him go that easily and sets out to make his life a living hell.
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5 out of 5 stars
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BEING A VILLIAN IS NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU KNOW,
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 08-19-17
By: Jim Bernheimer
-
You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,185
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,070
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,066
In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
-
Rules for Radical Conservatives
- Beating the Left at Its Own Game to Take Back America
- By: David Kahane
- Narrated by: John Allen Nelson
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 139
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 101
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 102
The vast right wing conspiracy has found its General Patton, and his name is David Kahane. Kahane's pseudonymous, satiric column for National Review Online, lampooning the Left via his Hollywood-radical persona - Stephen Colbert's liberal doppelganger - is must-listening for political aficionados of all stripes. Now, from the inside, Kahane proudly exposes the secret and not-so-secret winning strategies (and vulnerabilities) of the Left.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Disappointed
- By Henry W. Baker on 05-30-16
By: David Kahane
-
Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: John Ritter
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 138
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 81
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 80
The American guy is not to be confused with a husband, father, hunk, or intellectual, says guy expert Dave Barry. Published just in time (the American guy faces extinction due to feminism, the men's movement, and stricter sanitation laws), this guide gives women helpful advice for understanding Him (or It) and offers men useful tips on remembering the names of their children and other dilemmas of life.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
I laughed all the way through
- By Alan Rither on 08-10-04
By: Dave Barry
-
Flood
- A Novel (Burke, Book 1)
- By: Andrew Vachss
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 12 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 427
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 322
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 327
Burke's newest client is a woman named Flood, who has the face of an angel, the body of a high-priced stripper, and the skills of a professional executioner. She wants Burke to find a monster for her - so she can kill him with her bare hands. In this thriller, Andrew Vachss's renegade private eye teams up with a lethally gifted avenger to follow a child's murderer through the catacombs of New York, where every alley is blind and the penthouses are as dangerous as the basements.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Noir!
- By Snoodely on 03-06-14
By: Andrew Vachss
-
Monster Hunter International
- By: Larry Correia
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 24 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 20,437
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 18,478
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 18,451
Five days after Owen Zastava Pitt pushed his insufferable boss out of a 14th story window, he woke up in the hospital with a scarred face, an unbelievable memory, and a job offer. It turns out that monsters are real. All the things from myth, legend, and B-movies are out there, waiting in the shadows. Some of them are evil, and some are just hungry. Monster Hunter International is the premier eradication company in the business. And now Owen is their newest recruit.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Suprizingly entertaining
- By Konstantin on 02-17-12
By: Larry Correia
-
Lose Well
- By: Chris Gethard
- Narrated by: Chris Gethard
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 388
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 339
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 341
Let’s face it: we all want a seat at the cool table, a great job, and loads of money. But most of us won’t be able to achieve this widely accepted, black-or-white, definition of winning, which makes us feel like failures, that we’re destined to a life of loserdom. That’s the conventional wisdom. It’s also crap, according to comedian and cult hero Chris Gethard, who knows a thing of two about losing. Failing is an art form, he argues; in fact, it’s the only the way we’re ever going to discover who we are, what we really want, and how to live the kind of life we only dreamed about.
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5 out of 5 stars
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WHAT A LOSER
- By Amazon Customer on 01-26-19
By: Chris Gethard
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88 Names
- A Novel
- By: Matt Ruff
- Narrated by: Ewan Chung
- Length: 8 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 94
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 83
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 80
John Chu is a “sherpa” - a paid guide to online role-playing games. For a fee, he and his crew will provide you with a top-flight character equipped with the best weapons and armor. Chu’s new client, "Mr. Jones", claims to be a “wealthy, famous person” with powerful enemies, and he’s offering a ridiculous amount of money for a comprehensive tour. For Chu, this is a dream assignment, but then he begins to suspect that Mr. Jones is really North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un. But Chu also has to worry about “Ms. Pang”, and his angry ex-girlfriend, Darla Jean Covington....
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3 out of 5 stars
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I love this author... didn’t love this book.
- By Anonymous User on 03-30-20
By: Matt Ruff
-
Almost Infamous
- A Supervillain Novel
- By: Matt Carter
- Narrated by: Nicholas Techosky
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,163
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,956
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,954
Eighteen-year-old Aidan Salt isn't a superhero. With his powerful (and unpredictable) telekinetic abilities, he could be one if he wanted to, but he doesn't. He's unambitious, selfish, and cowardly, and he doesn't want to have to deal with all the paperwork required to become a professional superhero. But since the money, fame, and women that come with wearing the cape are appealing, he decides to become the first supervillain the world has seen in more than 20 years: Apex Strike.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
I DIDN'T WAKE UP DEAD, THAT WAS A GOOD START
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 01-13-17
By: Matt Carter
-
Horror, Humor, And Heroes
- By: Jim Bernheimer
- Narrated by: Jeffrey Kafer
- Length: 5 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 73
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 67
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 67
Horror, Humor, and Heroes is a collection of twelve short stories, one novella, and a preview for my next novel that should contain enough variety to entertain you readers. Sample some of my finest offerings, such as - a guardian wolf fearing the coming of man, a producer willing to do anything to bring the first pay per view live werewolf hunt to the world, and a zombie running for congress.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
Not bad but short stories shouldn't be this short.
- By C. B. Pemberton on 02-20-15
By: Jim Bernheimer
-
Bumblebee & Me
- Life as a G1 Transformer
- By: Dan Gilvezan
- Narrated by: Dan Gilvezan
- Length: 1 hr and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 90
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 74
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 73
Bumblebee & Me takes you behind the scenes of the original Transformers television series for a first-hand look at the making of a classic. Experience the controlled chaos of the recording sessions, learn the secrets behind creating a character voice, get to know the members of the cast close up and personal. Chock full of stories, reminiscences, anecdotes and never-before-seen photographs, Bumblebee & Me is sure to satisfy even the most knowledgeable and discerning Transformers fan.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Bumblebee...In His Own Words :)
- By Christine Klunder on 02-23-15
By: Dan Gilvezan
-
The Great Gasbag
- An A-Z Study Guide to Surviving Trump World
- By: Joy Behar
- Narrated by: Joy Behar
- Length: 5 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 253
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 212
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 213
Put down the knife, lock away the gun, lay aside the noose - Joy Behar is here to save you from suicide as she hot walks you through the next four years (two if we are lucky, less if liberal dreams come true). Besides despair, the sane response to the insanity in the White House is laughter. On her hit ABC daytime show The View, Joy has been blunt in her condemnation of the comb over-in-chief, and her words have electrified and inspired millions in the resistance for whom #notmypresident has become a rallying cry.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Funny and Smart !
- By MM on 10-29-17
By: Joy Behar
-
Hostile Intent
- By: Michael Walsh
- Narrated by: Jay Snyder
- Length: 11 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 132
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 66
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 66
Code named Devlin, he exists in the blackest shadows of the United States government--operating off the grid as the NSA's top agent. He's their most lethal weapon-and their most secret. But someone is trying to draw him out into the open by putting America's citizens in the crosshairs--and they will continue the slaughter until they get what they want.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
3-1/2 Stars - Could Have Been Better
- By Ed on 08-26-10
By: Michael Walsh
-
Straight Outta Fangton
- A Comedic Vampire Story
- By: C. T. Phipps
- Narrated by: Cary Hite
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 338
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 311
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 310
Peter Stone is a poor, black vampire who is wondering where his nightclub, mansion, and sports car is. Instead, he is working a minimum wage job during the night shift, as being a vampire isn't all that impressive in a world where they've come out to mortals. Exiled from the rich and powerful undead in New Detroit, he is forced to go back when someone dumps a newly-transformed vampire in the bathroom of his gas station's store.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
So funny, you'll die!!!
- By Jason on 09-29-17
By: C. T. Phipps
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Eighteen-year-old Aidan Salt isn't a superhero. With his powerful (and unpredictable) telekinetic abilities, he could be one if he wanted to, but he doesn't. He's unambitious, selfish, and cowardly, and he doesn't want to have to deal with all the paperwork required to become a professional superhero. But since the money, fame, and women that come with wearing the cape are appealing, he decides to become the first supervillain the world has seen in more than 20 years: Apex Strike.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I DIDN'T WAKE UP DEAD, THAT WAS A GOOD START
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 01-13-17
By: Matt Carter
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The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax
- By: Christopher Shevlin
- Narrated by: Finlay Robertson
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 123
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When Jonathon Fairfax accidentally helps a murderer bump off Sarah Morecambe, the secretary of a senior politician, he sets off a chain of events that astonishes him. Jonathon is wrong-footed by even the most everyday things, so he's particularly startled to find himself caught up in a conspiracy that goes right to the heart of government. Teaming up with a suave private investigator, a glamorous granny and the probable love of his life, Jonathon must confront his greatest fears - including talking to girls and balaclava-clad killers - and answer some very difficult questions.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great story with LOL moments
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Zeus Is Dead
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Nine months ago, Zeus' murder catapulted the Greek gods back into public life. Now, the whole pantheon revels in new temples, casinos, and media empires - except Apollo. An overachiever with a bursting portfolio of godly duties, the amount of email alone he receives from rapacious mortals turns each day into a living hell. Yet there may be hope, if only he can return Zeus to life! With the aid of Thalia, the muse of comedy and science fiction, Apollo will risk his very godhood to help TV producer Tracy Wallace and a gamer geek named Leif, who hold the key to Zeus' resurrection.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Like a fresh cranberry-orange nut muffin w/ fudge
- By Melissa and Josh on 11-20-18
By: Michael G. Munz
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Carpet Diem
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Fifteen years after losing most of his family to a devastating, pudding-related tragedy, Simon Debovar has settled into a life of self-imposed exile from the stinking, selfish morass of humanity. Content that his daily highlights will include hazelnut coffee, a long bath, and the occasional jar of olives, his life is completely upturned by the discovery that his ornate living room carpet is the deciding factor in a bet between God and Satan.
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2 out of 5 stars
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What the heck did I just read?
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The beloved King Ik is dead, and there was barely time to check his pulse before the royal throne was supporting the suspiciously shapely backside of an impostor pretending to be Ik's beautiful, long-lost daughter. With the land's heroic hunks busy drooling all over themselves, there's only one man left who can save the kingdom of Jenair. His name is Dungar Loloth, a rural blacksmith turned innkeeper, a surly hermit, and an all-around nobody oozing toward middle age, compensating for a lack of height, looks, charm, and tact with guts and an attitude.
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5 out of 5 stars
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perfect nonsense
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Dr. Anarchy’s Rules for World Domination
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Dr. Anarchy is a man with a simple dream: to conquer and rule the entire world. While he has yet to achieve his goal, he has managed to become absolute lord and master of one small corner of it. This is the story of what one man was able to achieve though hard work, dedication, careful planning, unhealthy obsession, giant robots, disintegrators, remote controlled grolem dolls, a horde of disposable henchmen, killbots, an annoying cyborg ninja, and 36 rules every supervillain should follow!
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I DIDN'T WAKE UP DEAD, THAT WAS A GOOD START
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When Jonathon Fairfax accidentally helps a murderer bump off Sarah Morecambe, the secretary of a senior politician, he sets off a chain of events that astonishes him. Jonathon is wrong-footed by even the most everyday things, so he's particularly startled to find himself caught up in a conspiracy that goes right to the heart of government. Teaming up with a suave private investigator, a glamorous granny and the probable love of his life, Jonathon must confront his greatest fears - including talking to girls and balaclava-clad killers - and answer some very difficult questions.
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The beloved King Ik is dead, and there was barely time to check his pulse before the royal throne was supporting the suspiciously shapely backside of an impostor pretending to be Ik's beautiful, long-lost daughter. With the land's heroic hunks busy drooling all over themselves, there's only one man left who can save the kingdom of Jenair. His name is Dungar Loloth, a rural blacksmith turned innkeeper, a surly hermit, and an all-around nobody oozing toward middle age, compensating for a lack of height, looks, charm, and tact with guts and an attitude.
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5 out of 5 stars
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perfect nonsense
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What listeners say about The Supervillain Handbook
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Mom
- 03-15-21
Essential guide to supervillainy
Required reading for every mega bad guy or gal. Every evil overlord must read this book. It is the most important document to be reading. It is especially serious to listen to for all megalomaniacs and would be world dominators. Truly inspired even at 2x speed.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I, Mojo Jojo, have a town to take over. I have a world to conquer. I have to seize control of an area and force its inhabitants to follow my way of thinking.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- brenttnie fontineau
- 02-03-21
awesome read
love the narration and his voice almost that earl James Jones vibe great book for a good laugh and maybe a few tips for those would be inspiring villains out there
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- deanna
- 03-03-22
hilarious and fun
great book. a real good listen. funny and the narration is fantastic. highly recommend to any aspiring super villian
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Snowy Leopard
- 09-02-21
Must Read
This was hilarious!!! I never wanted the book to come to an end. So sad it's over
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Placeholder
- 12-07-20
Amusing short book
It sounds mostly like an ad for a school but amusing none the less. I loved it and Mr Allen, the narrator really sells it!!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- monkey4
- 12-08-20
Funny, great narration.
Reminiscent of a slightly more in depth Venture Brothers explanation of the broader aspects of super villainy. Funny, whimsical, and entertaining. Excellent narrator!
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Joey
- 09-24-20
Silly and comedic, but goes on a tad too long
The writing style and vocal work is reminiscent of Venture Bros. and older villain shenanigans, which is really neat for people that find some enjoyment out of that style. It does drag a little too long so maybe finish this in two sessions to prevent that feeling. Great choice for the reader, sounds like a villain from Venture Bros.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 06-04-21
What delightful narration
Richard Allen as King Oblivion is marvelous work of Shakespearean quality. Truly a supervillain of highest rank.
And book is great and funny too. But it is the performance that really makes it shine.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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- OrangePython
- 09-23-22
Solid parody “guide” to Supervillainy
Certainly lives up to what I’d expected when going in! The Supervillain Handbook is thought out and written in a delightfully cheesy and detail-appreciative manner. While many points can be quite wordy with a few too many examples, that honestly adds more to the charm. It’s laid out like a handbook, after all, so Mr. Wilson did a pretty great job accounting for a large variety of scenarios in every case.
Mr. Allen’s narration was similarly comically dramatic, which was certainly intentional, and it fits wonderfully with the writing itself. I don’t recall it being explained why his voice seemed to shift and lose its faux pretentious flair a few times in each chapter. That may have been to read those little “trivia” blurbs in a way that separates them from the main handbook contents, and thinking back, that’s likely all it was.
Regardless, a solid listen for those who seek a good place to start their supervillain lifestyle! …Or just a fun way to fill the air during a smallish road trip, or a quiet afternoon.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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- travis
- 04-12-21
A funny satire on supervillains!
This was a lot better than I expected it to be. It really does read a bit like a handbook, and each chapter is teaching a young villain things not to mess up, such as names or how to build your base. It doesn't take itself seriously and make a lot of jokes about the stereotypes of the evil villain. really well done.
The performance was great as well. The narrator used a deep villainy voice and kind of talked down to the audience, which worked really well.
Worth your time, and anyone that is into super power book will get a kick out if it. Recommended.
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1 person found this helpful