The State of Affairs

Rethinking Infidelity

By: Esther Perel

Narrated by: Esther Perel

Iconic couples' therapist and best-selling author Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity, providing the insight we so desperately need to help us move beyond a simplistic discussion.

An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so, too, have the prohibitions against it - in fact adultery has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. And yet this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honoured taboo - universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat? When we say 'infidelity', what exactly do we mean? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage?

Psychotherapist Esther Perel is recognised as one of the most insightful and original voices on modern love. For the past 10 years, she has worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she argues, but healing is possible. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage - with the same person. With the right approach, couples can learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Weaving real-life stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis, Perel invites listeners into a truly revealing exploration of modern marriage.

©2017 Esther Perel (P)2017 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

"Beautiful. A brilliantly intelligent plea for complexity, understanding, and - as always - kindness." (Alain de Botton)

"Esther Perel does nothing short of strip us of our deepest biases, remind us of our purpose in connecting as lovers, and save relationships that might otherwise sink into the sea-all with even-handed wisdom, fresh morality, and wise prose. Thank heavens for this woman." (Lena Dunham, author of Not That Kind of Girl)

Fascinating read!

An eye opener to the complexities of relationships and infidelity. It has expanded my perspective on thinking about infidelity, especially. Esther's reading made it all the more Interesting. Kudos!

amazing book

very insightful, emphathetic and full of wisdom. the book not only talks about infidelity but about the principle.behind human relationships

Fantastic insight even for singles

I am single and while listening to this book, I have learned so much about myself. Amazing stories and new light into accepting that relationships are not black and white, and that is up to you to build one in the best way that serves you.

Fabulous book all couples should read

How do you give it to your partner to read though? in some respects even listening to this book brings the elicitness of having an affair!!

Answers to Affairs

Esther is an exceptional author and narrator. She dives deep into the emotions of lives affected by affairs. There are various lessons in this book that one can learn from and implement in one’s own relationships, regardless of circumstances.

Insightful and well produced

What a treat to hear Esther’s wisdom from her own mouth. I recommend the book to all couples, not just those affected by infidelity.

Magnificent book

Listening to this book, so well narrated by Esther herself, has helped me immensely to understand relationships and its complexity. I will, very likely, return to it often, to also try to understand myself and my choices.

Illuminating read - for all

Another gem by Esther Perel. A fascinating listen in Esther’s beautiful French accent about navigating infidelity and relationships in general. I want to relisten and pick up the things I missed. Brilliant!

I love Esther

Such an interesting book full of new ways to think about relationships and it’s always great to hear the writer read it.

amazing therapy book

amazing book to deal with a breakup or trying to work through an affair. changes and heals perceptions.